Big Girl Underoos

I don't know why, but when I see him get his first hug, I get all teary eyed. Then I went to Freehugscampaign.org and found out the lady's cat had died that day and it was the anniversary of her daughter's death and I got even more choked up. Something so simple...

Ignoring the fact that this guy kind of looks like the love child of Boy George and Weird Al, I love, love, love this song. I think all three songs I just posted were from 1991 or thereabouts. I was in 9th grade and probably deep in the midst of adolescent swooning for anything vaguely romantic. I can't say much has changed since then.

I love this song: Lisa Stansfield - All Woman. This is sort of non sequitor, but last night a random thought popped into my head, as random thoughts often do. I took this thought and kind of mulled it over. The thought was that I was with my X for a total of 10 years and yet I have as much feeling for him now as I would for an acquaintance I don't really know. I wouldn't exactly use the words "dead to me" but that's kind of how I feel. It seems so odd that someone who was around for literally a third of my life would mean so little but there you have it. Strange.

Yesterday there was an incident. Nothing tragic or life threatening, just slightly embarassing, yet absolutely, amusingly bloggable. I couldn't have made this stuff up if I'd tried. So yeah. I passed out while on the commode. Stone cold, out on the linoleum, someone get me some smelling salts, underwear around the ankles, fainted dead away. At work. Oy. But I'm ok now. Nothing a little TLC from the handsome paramedic I'm sleeping with couldn't cure. So what happened was this [Warning potential TMI ahead.]: I was in the bathroom and apparently I bore down just a wee bit to hard. That coupled with my propensity toward low blood pressure and a possible dehydrated state lead to light headedness and those black clouds in my vision. I sat up quickly thinking, "whoa, that's one hell of a poop." Next thing I know I'm waking up thinking, "I could have sworn I already got up for work today. Wait...this isn't my bed, it's linoleum!" Luckily,...

No, I am not with child. But I am with nephew. Above is the ultrasound of the little bugger gestating. In case you can't quite make out the image right a way, he's in profile, looking up, possibly sucking his thumb. This next picture is even worse for illiciting a Rachael Green, "I can't see the baby!" response. Supposedly, the picture below is looking up at the baby, as in the baby is sitting on the camera and facing the lower left corner. That little triangle pointing southwest, attached to the larger triangle pointing northeast is apparently what indicates the masculine gender of my sister's second child. I'll just take the doctor's word for it. I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank my sister for providing my four parents (if you include step) with grandchildren so that it takes the pressure off of me. Amen and pass the birth control.

Now that I am thesis free, I don't know what to do with myself. I have nothing looming over my head forcing me to care about time management. Or to make me feel guilty for watching my Netflix DVDs. In fact, not having a thesis to work on has kind of taken the fun out of doing things I "shouldn't" be doing. Now, when I watch an entire DVD worth of LOST, I feel like a lazy bum instead of like I'm rewarding myself for all the work I've done. Free time is now actually free instead of a trade off. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely enjoying the freedom. Oh yes, I'm enjoying it with wild abandon. Or at least as much abandon as I can handle as a white, female, lower-middle class liberal New Englander. (We aren't necessarily known for our wild abandon.) It's just interesting to see what I've lost from my gains. ------------------------------------------------- Speaking of gains, "today is Equal Pay Day , which is observed to symbolically r...

I celebrated Earth Day yesterday by not getting out of bed until 11 (nothing got turned on before noon except me) and then conserved water by co-showering. I also recycled a printer and a scanner at a local collection place, but the conserving water thing was way more fun.

Good lord, I've found a way to both procrastinate and stick it to the man. "The man" in this case being McDonald's and Hummer. From this website : McDonald's often emphasizes its "long-standing global commitment to environmental protection and leadership." So why did they give away 42 million toy Hummers in Happy Meals? The fast-food chain that helped make our kids the fattest on Earth cut a deal with General Motors to sell future car buyers on the fun of driving a supersized, smog-spewing, gas-guzzling SUV originally built for the military. Use the Ronald McHummer Sign-O-Matic™ to say what you think of this misguided marketing marriage. You can go here to make your own. My personal favorites are these two: I feel really bad about this, but now I kinda want a Fish Filet and some fries. Seriously, I'm like Pavlov's dog here with my mouth watering. Damn.

This post at this random blog (Geek Girl) I bookmarked long ago for no apparent reason and somehow decided to visit today helped me gain a little more perspective on the whole Virginia Tech shooting. I guess the news just wasn't giving me enough of the human perspective. It was too glossy. Too...newsy. I don't think I ever even heard of the shooting she's talking about.

Congratulations to Vanessa over at Fried Dreams . She just got engaged. Yeah Vanessa! I'm not knocking Vanessa's fiance's proposal (because it appears that his method was exactly right for Vanessa), but if anyone out there (you know who you are) gets the idea of using a text message to propose, put that thought right out of your mind. Not that I'm gunning for a proposal*, and a text message would be kind of funny, but a person's got to kick it up a notch. I'm just saying. * Seriously, I'm not. FG - Push that heart back down from your throat into your chest cavity and put your head between your knees. Inhale...exhale...

A very old friend of mine (we're talking 8th gradeish), Justin M, posted a comment a couple posts ago thanking me for the learning experience resulting from my posts complaining about IUDs, PMS and other womanly problems. Justin happens to be one of my ex-boyfriends from high school (twice) and is now a good friend of mine. I have to say, there is something about blogging, especially anonymously (although people I actually know who read this know who I am), because if Justin were standing in front of me right now, despite having known him since I was 14, there is no way I would be regaling him with stories about female lubrication . I probably wouldn't even feel comfortable talking about cramps, even if I was curled into the fetal position in a booth at Pizzeria Unos and he wanted to know why. I don't know if I'm behind the curve or what, but actually talking about things like periods, birth control, and sex is not something I do well. It's SO much easier to blog a...

I'm having a hard time with the shootings at Virginia Tech, but not in the way you might think. Of course it is horrible. It's awful, tragic, maddening, and all those other things bad events like this should be. Hell, I even work on a college campus so this should be hitting me pretty close to home. However. The main emotion I feel is indifferent. I feel jaded. Ho hum. Lackadaisical. What the heck kind of emotional response is that? Perhaps it is a knee jerk reaction to all the news coverage using phrases like "the worst campus shooting EVER!!!" Bigger than the University of Texas! Bigger than Columbine! Like the shooter won some kind of jackpot. The media makes it seem like entertainment. The scariest thing was when I thought, "Only 33 people? Whatever. What's on TLC?" If I'm feeling jaded* by it all, I can imagine some sicko thinking, "I bet I could take out at least 50 before they got me." I don't even think it would be a stretch for...

UPDATE: I must have pissed off the gods of PMS with my last post because I am having the most hideously bad cramps right now. My period, although currently whacked out by the shock to my system of the IUD, should not be coming for another two weeks. Why my boobs are sore and my innards are twisting, I do not know. Given that I haven't had cramps in years, I'm really not appreciating this new turn of events. I also just happen to have my two week IUD check-up in a couple of hours. They want to make sure it's still in there. Since right now I'm having difficulty curling out of the fetal position on my desk chair, I'm not sure how excited I am about the prospect of a speculum. I'm going to go raid my coworkers' desks for Advil. Bolux!

Apparently, I am not the only one to have experienced the IUD insertion from hell. My long time friend, Jennifer, (I've known this lady since we were 16 or so, a whole half lifetime ago) also lived to tell the tale of the IUD. And she's singing it's praises. I'm not yet singing, but I'm doing some warm up excercises. Mi mi mi mi mi... Although the insertion itself was really, really, really unpleasant (I'd advise anyone going to get one to have a designated driver), the Mirena IUD itself has been a good thing so far. I don't have to think about it, I only had spotting for a couple days, and despite the fact that I was supposed to have my period the day of the insertion, it never came. I dried up like the Sahara (more on that in a moment). I still have a few more weeks before I get my next scheduled period so I don't know yet what to expect. I'm hoping to be one of the 20% of women who stop getting their period altogether on Mirena. Fingers crossed....

I did some thinking (I generally try to keep that to a minimum) and discovered that since the fall of 2003 I have been continually working under a Masters related deadline. To get to this point, I took 8 classes back to back to back, including in the summer, and then I went straight into my thesis in the fall of 2005. So, for the last three and a half years (almost as long as my undergraduate career! Holy smokes!), I have had something due all the time: a term paper, a report, a presentation, a thesis. I don't even remember what it feels like to have guilt-free free time where I'm not thinking, 'I should probably be working on [insert Master related project here] instead of [watching TV, spending time with friends and family, reading this magazine, paying my bills, doing the dishes, watering my plants, living my life, etc...]" I have yet to fully realize what not having a thesis to do anymore will mean to my life. For now, I'm going to enjoy the hell out of not hav...

Guess what, guess what, guess what!!! I just turned in my thesis. My signed, sealed, printed on bond paper, official thesis. I'm done. Done, done, done! Not a bad way to end the week!

Forgive the canned language but I thought I should share: Did you know that current federal hate crime laws don't protect everyone? The US has had a federal hate crimes law on the books since 1969, and it has never included crimes targeting victims because of their gender, gender identity, sexual orientation or disability. Congress is about to consider a bill that would change that. It would also help under-funded law enforcement officials investigate and prosecute hate crimes. Tell your representative to support this bill. Here's something else that may shock you -- one in six hate crimes are motivated by the victim's sexual orientation. And currently, the federal government can't even investigate most of these crimes or help bring the criminals to justice. In past years, conservative right wing groups have blocked attempts to expand hate crimes laws. They're gearing up for another fight now, so we need to make sure our representatives do the "right" thin...

As mentioned in my last post. Love it!

It's good to see all that discipline and training being put to good use. And that they have an outlet for their stress. Very entertaining! Also see YouTube for them doing Pump It.

Quick! Stop the presses! This is horrible, just horrible. I don't know how the world is going to cope with this news. It's just...I can't even...Life as we know it can't go on! Not with headlines like this in the news: Valerie Bertinelli - Ready to Get Slim: The TV star, now a size 14, vows to lose 30 lbs, and opens up about finding love after her split from Eddie Van Halen. According to the Table of Contents: "Actress Valerie Bertinelli opens up about being "fat," finding love after Eddie Van Halen and her public vow to lose weight." First, I would like to say that wearing a white muumuu on the cover of a magazine does not make one fat. It does however make me question her judgement and/or the judgement of the shoot coordinators. Even Kate Moss could almost pull off girth in a muumuu. Second, size 14 is not "fat." I've been there, and although I didn't really like it, it wasn't a death sentence. Look how cute and happy Valerie...

The following search strings led people to this blog over the past week: girl vomit (Is this different from boy vomit? Maybe the searcher was trying to find out.) sex for dummies ( This one led multiple people here, or the same person multiple times. Sorry searchers, I'm pretty sure I don't provide any pointers here. I'd be willing to take some though.) sexy outtie belly button (mine happens to be an innie, but sexy nonetheless) boy in wet underoos (I'm fairly certain we don't want to know.) schoolboy fantasies of my aunt's buttocks (This is my personal favorite. Mostly because of the word "buttocks," and how proper it appears to be while being naughty nonetheless.) Welcome perverts and random strangers. Bask in all that is Big Girl Underoos. I hope you find, if not what you are looking for, then something else you may need or that brings you joy. And if you keep looking for "boys in wet underoos," may the proper authorities find you first.

You know that feeling where you just know you are forgetting something? About 15 minutes before I left for work this morning, I got that feeling. It was intermingled with a good dose of unfounded anxiety and annoyance so that the result was I felt angry for no reason at something unknown. I left my apartment still feeling off, but not being able to figure out what it was. I don't have any meetings today. No impending deadlines. I wasn't feeling pissed about having to go to work (although that would have accounted for the annoyance if I were). I think it was a self-fulfilling prophesy because when I got to work, I realized that, despite feeling like I was forgetting something and therefore being careful when I gathered all my things together, I'd forgotten my purse at home. That doesn't really throw my world off kilter too horribly, but it does mean my cell phone is at home, as well as my little USB memory thingy that my thesis is on. Since I wanted to print out my thesi...

YouTube is like CRACK! Now I'm just doing this because I can. I haven't heard this song in, like, oh my god, forever. (My inner tween is escaping). Quick, who can tell me what movie the subject of this post comes from? It has nothing to to with NKOTB, except for being reminded of it because of Jordan's voice. How I remember that that one is named Jordan I don't know. Hmmm...let's see Joey, Jordon, Donnie, and...Joanie and Chachie? No clue about the other two.

Joey's MINE Biatches! Seriously, I'm actually getting chills while I listen to this. I have apparently awoken my inner tween. And yes, I am skeeved out by just how young Joey is in this video. Still -he grew up to be worthy of my crush.

Oh hell. I just can't stop. Here's one going out to you Celebrate Woo Woo (http://twoboys4me.blogspot.com/2007/04/color-me-fatuous.html).

This is the last one I swear! (See my last two posts) There are just some songs that sweep you instantly back into a certain time of your life (whether you want them to or not). That part of my life just happens to be the mid to late 80s when I was an impressionable adolescent girl. As such, Dirty Dancing was the end all be all in romantic movies. If that's dirty, I don't ever want to be clean.

More Friday Entertainment. Oh. Mah. Gawd. I'm TOTALLY getting all teenage squinshy right now from this song. I want to sigh and really FEEL things. Deeply. Sing it Debbie! I know EXACTLY what you mean. I SO can't wait for study hall today. Sigh... P.S. Nice Hammer pants at the end there. I had those too. And the perm. And, yes, the hat. What? Like you didn't. Note: Searching Youtube for nostalgia inducing videos is very very dangerous.

For your Friday afternoon entertainment (because I can't think of anything to blog about.) I used to have boy/girl parties at my house in junior high. We'd take over my parents dining room, eat pizza, and slow dance to this song. Over and over and over. We had a very limited selection of music, particularly slow songs. This song made the girls melt but somehow was also cool/masculine enough to get the boys out on the dance floor.(Thanks MB for the use of your tape all those many years ago!) As I write this, a little of that good ol' teenage angst is creeping back into my soul. There's nostalgia, and then there's nausea. It's a very fine line between the two. Aside: I'd like to point out how similar their hats are to those worn by Debbie Gibson in the same era. Mayhaps I need to check Youtube for a little Shake Your Love or Lost In Your Eyes.

I am in the process of making some interesting and exciting decisions about things in my life. Some of these decisions require spending money. Not a lot, but more than I really have budgeted for at the moment. If I was having second thoughts about these decisions, and was trying to get out of moving forward on them, I'd have to say the universe was conspiring against me. Why? Because just yesterday, almost at the same time as I was tallying up my expenses and thinking, "Gosh, I'll be spending a lot of money. This could be tough," I got emails from two different people I know offering me money. Or at least side jobs I can do for money, effectively paying for a chunk of what I need to pay for. Making it that much more easy to move forward with what I intend to do. Given this coincidence, I think I'm supposed to do this. I'll let you know what the "this" is when I feel more comfortable with it. And no, I am not going to have a baby (never!) or get marri...

If I EVER see these mouse pads in anyone's office, I swear to god... I'm pretty sure my Mom works with some guys who'd have these and go, "What?!" if someone questioned them about them and wouldn't have a clue as to why this is a bad idea.

Or, more correctly, "holy fucking shit that hurt!" Which is what I emailed my friend this morning regarding the insertion of my new IUD. I've taken an accounting of all the pain I've ever experienced - sprained ankle, immunizations, IV, tatoo (Granted, nothing too major) - and I would have to say, that procedure blew them all out of the water. Imagine your worst pap smear - the pinching, the scraping - and then add a clamp onto something inside there (like a clothespin on your nostril) for the whole time, followed by the puncturing of an internal organ with a crotchet hook and you've got just about what it felt like.* If I'd have known, I would have taken Friendster Guy up on his offer to pace in the waiting room. I think I went into a wee bit of shock. I was light headed and a little shaky afterward and it induced the worst menstrual-type cramps I've ever experienced. AND I had taken 2 ibuprofen beforehand. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening ei...

I do love this song, but...

I don't know about you, but this video kinda makes me see how ridiculous the other one is. I still think the original song is catchy as hell though.

Here, for no apparent reason, is a list of books I have read in the first quarter of 2007. In that time, I have also: learned how to ski, paid off my car, almost finished my thesis (it's ready to be printed!), and lost 4-5 pounds. Not too bad a first quarter if I do say so myself. And I do. Eat, Pray, Love -Gilbert Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia -Hornbacher Girl, interrupted -Kaysen The Book of Kehls -Kehl The Namesake -Lahiri Shop Girl -Martin, Steve The Pleasure of My Company -Martin, Steve Garlic and Saphhires -Reichl, Ruth Stuffed -Volk THIRTEEN Robert B. Parker novels: (Apparently, I read them like they're candy. Or crack.) Sudden Mischief Trouble in Paradise Hush Money Family Honor Perish Twice Double Play Hugger Mugger Potshot Shrink Wrap Back Story Bad Business Small Vices Widow's Walk Anyone have any suggestions on who I can start reading after I've finished Parker's series?

...offering to go and pace in the waiting room while your girlfriend is having an IUD...er...installed.

Remember my X's $9,000 vasectomy reversal surgery paid for by his new girlfriend? Apparently, she got her money's worth. Yup. X is "with child." Holy crap. And here I am agonizing about having just a conversation about possibly sometime in the future maybe moving in with Friendster Guy. Talk about your different time tables.

Spring is here, and with it comes that strange urge to clean stuff. In my case, that urge is manifesting itself in a need to purge (I never have the urge to vacuum or do windows). You wouldn't think that as a (very very very part time, i.e. wannabe) professional organizer who has moved 3 times in as many years, I would have that much stuff to purge, and yet, I do. During any purge things generally fall into five levels of purgability. They are: 1) "Why the hell have I kept this so long?" 2) "I thought I got rid of this last time." 3) "I think I'm ready to get rid of this now." 3) "I'm not ready to part with this yet even though I never use it, have nowhere to store it, and probably should get rid of it." 4) "There is no way I'm getting rid of this." Where a particular item lands depends on your mood on any given day, which is why it is good to purge when you are in the mood. A whole lot more goes out the door that way. B...