Skip to main content

Mixed emotions

Well, STBX, or I guess now I should just call him X, called me today to warn me that I might hear through the ever so short local grapevine that he and a good friend of ours are "seeing each other." It's not very serious (yet) but he wanted me to hear it from him rather than someone else who sees them out together. That was very nice and considerate of him. Way to think ahead for once...er...yeah... Anyway, it was cute because he was so nervous to tell me. And surprised by how happy I was for him. He didn't expect that.

So yeah, on the one hand, I am supremely happy for both of them. I truly am. I think they are both people who deserve some happiness and I have now told them both that and that I give them my blessing 100%. They are even cute together, although I haven't seen them, but I can imagine. On the other hand I'm a little bummed. Or angry. Or something other than happy. I'm annoyed that he's taking the initiative to be flirty and attracted to someone else when he never was with me. Obviously, this is why we are divorced. We were not attracted to each other anymore. The problem is that he could have gone on another decade without ever realizing that one of us (me) wasn't happy in the marriage. Why did I have to do all the work and go through the agony of being the bad guy? And now he gets a girl right away without the stress of dating or trying to figure out if someone is emotionally available and all that? How does he get off so easy?

I'll tell you what, if I hadn't gone through all these dates and found out that there are guys out there who find me attractive and interesting and fun to be with I'd be supremely depressed right now. As it stands I'm only in a mild funk. And a lot of that funk is part of a second issue. I'm realizing that I've been cut off from a group of friends that used to be "our" friends. It's understandable but when you find out your entire coed summer sports team, including your X, is invited to something and you are not - specifically because of the divorce situation - you tend to get a little pissy.

Grrr....

Comments

Anonymous said…
Heya. Here's another view: X is no longer your problem. And maybe you've taught each other things through your relationship such that he'll have learned he needs to be more attentive to his new squeeze and you'll have learned to expect the things you'd always hoped for with X -- and you'll no doubt get them.
- js
8:05 PM
Sassy Pants said…
I better ; )
7:03 AM
Anonymous said…
YES! That's what I wanted to hear.
-js
3:45 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Making Eye Babies

Colleges often have a lot of rules the students need to follow. After all, a bunch of 18-21 year olds can't really be expected to self-govern on their own, at least not 24/7, no matter how vehement they are that they can do just that. (I was 18-21 once myself so I know it's annoying to hear that. I don't mean all 18-21 year olds individually, I mean when they all get together in one place.) Then there are Christian Colleges which have more rules, often based on biblical teachings and moral dictates. Further down the spectrum is Bob Jones University* which considers the Christian colleges just too darn liberal so they piles on a bunch of morally based codes of behavior. Not to be outdone by the crazy liberal heathens at Bob Jones, Pensacola Christian College goes hog wild with the rules and moral imperatives and makes the Taliban look almost liberal. An article in the March 24th edition of the Chronicle of Higher Education explains some of the rules and regulations the stu
5 comments
Read more

Gone by the wayside

I have no idea if anyone is reading this anymore. If you have been loyally checking back now and again I applaud you. At one point this blog was a therapeutic outlet for me. I'm glad to have a chronicle of my experiences during this time of my life. Now, however, instead of a creative outlet it's more of a nagging reminder that I should be posting and this girl does not need one more thing on her "To Do" list. I'd love for you to explore the archives if you so chose. If you have already done so, here's a brief update: Friendster Guy and I are still together and co-habitating. We are in domestic, but still unwedded, bliss (that status could be a post or two in and of itself, but, as I've just said, I'm done with that.) We're so domesticated we're in the market for granite countertops. We also just returned from an Aussie/New Zealand vacation and if 8 days in a tiny RV won't solidify (or destroy) a relationship nothing will. We're stronge
23 comments
Read more

Addendum to Resolutions

I'm adding two things to my New Year's Resolutions - 5) Read more using this list as a guide: 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die. I have no idea how many I've already read. I'll have to make a spreadsheet. You can do anything with a spreadsheet. Not that you should , but you can. 6) Get a massage every 6-8 weeks . This probably doesn't need an explanation. I had one for only the 3rd time this week. It's been at least 4 years since my last one. My gym has a spa attached to it and they had an intern doing free massages. Hello? Sign me up! Now that I've had one I'm wanting more. If I eat out less I might even be able to justify it. I wonder if I can write it off on my taxes?
9 comments
Read more