Making Eye Babies

Colleges often have a lot of rules the students need to follow. After all, a bunch of 18-21 year olds can't really be expected to self-govern on their own, at least not 24/7, no matter how vehement they are that they can do just that. (I was 18-21 once myself so I know it's annoying to hear that. I don't mean all 18-21 year olds individually, I mean when they all get together in one place.) Then there are Christian Colleges which have more rules, often based on biblical teachings and moral dictates. Further down the spectrum is Bob Jones University* which considers the Christian colleges just too darn liberal so they piles on a bunch of morally based codes of behavior. Not to be outdone by the crazy liberal heathens at Bob Jones, Pensacola Christian College goes hog wild with the rules and moral imperatives and makes the Taliban look almost liberal.

An article in the March 24th edition of the Chronicle of Higher Education explains some of the rules and regulations the students must adhere to or else they will be punished or expelled.

I won't share the whole article but here are some choice blurbs:

"Of Pensacola's many rules, those dealing with male-female relationships are the most talked about. There are restrictions on when and where men and women may speak to each other. Some elevators and stairwells may be used only by women; others may be used only by men. Socializing on particular benches is forbidden. If a man and a woman are walking to class, they may chat; if they stop en route, though, they may be in trouble. Generally men and women caught interacting in any "unchaperoned area" — which is most of the campus — could be subject to severe penalties.

Those rules extend beyond the campus. A man and a woman cannot go to an off-campus restaurant together without a chaperon (usually a faculty member). Even running into members of the opposite sex off campus can lead to punishment. One student told of how a group of men and a group of women from the college happened to meet at a McDonald's last spring. Both groups were returning from the beach (they had gone to separate beaches; men and women are not allowed to be at the beach together). The administration found out, and all 15 students were expelled."

My favorite part however is the making of "eye babies."

"Even couples who are not talking or touching can be reprimanded. Sabrina Poirier, a student at Pensacola who withdrew in 1997, was disciplined for what is known on the campus as "optical intercourse" — staring too intently into the eyes of a member of the opposite sex. This is also referred to as "making eye babies." While the rule does not appear in written form, most students interviewed for this article were familiar with the concept."

Sweet lord almighty, if I had an actual eye baby for every time I've had optical intercourse I could take over a small, poorly armed, country. Needless to say, Friendster Guy and I have been having optical intercourse as often as possible since I read the article. Pensacola Christian College may be on to something, it actually does lead to some less than Christian behavior.

There are 5,000 students at this unaccredited institution. Who are these kids? Who are these faculty members?! When can I apply?

Of note, tuition is only $6,000 a year because the college's costs are subsidized by a Christian text book company, A Beka, owned by the founder of the college.

"Many of Pensacola's students work for A Beka, operating binding equipment, packing books into boxes, loading those boxes onto forklifts. Some students complain about the working conditions; others say it's a good deal. For women, A Beka is usually the only employment option because they are not allowed to hold
off-campus jobs. Or leave the campus alone, for that matter."

For awhile I was actually applauding the college on some level because it seemed as if the rules were being applied quite evenly to both males and females. However, being stuck on campus - even if I might get the opportunity to drive a forklift (yeah right, I'm sure they let the women do that) - is certainly not my cup of tea. Needless to say, but I'm going to say it anyway, I will not be going to PCC. And if I hear of anyone I know thinking about it for themselves or their children I will organize an intervention.

* May I be totally Beavis and Butthead and point out that the net address for Bob Jones is BJU. I want a T-Shirt.