I always miss the "Blog Days" when we bloggers are supposed to blog about something specific in unity. I don't even know where to find a list of those days although I'm sure a quick trip to Google would cure that.
A few days ago it was Blog Against Heteronormativity Day. Utilizing the definition of heteronormativity from Blackademic: "in brief, heteronormativity is a term that can be used to describe institutions, policies and beliefs that reinforce the rigid categories of male and female. these categories, supposedly, determine our sex, sexuality, sexual desire, gender identity, and gender roles. therefore, there are expected behaviors for males (such as the patriarch of the nuclear family for example), as are there expected behaviors for females (the submissive wife to the patriarch, among other things). but we all know---THAT'S BULLSHIT!"
I haven't read anyone else's entry who blogged about this. And it may be a day (or two) late and a dollar short but I did want to address it.
I'm a very progressive person. I'm also very sensitive to what I say and how people of different backgrounds, religions, and races might translate it. I'm cautious about race and I've had people of color tell me I "get it" and that they know if they explain something to me I'm probably already on the same page. I'll readily admit that I can be slightly insensitive about religion, at least until I find out that you are actually religious and then I'm much more apt to temper my words and not say things like "God sucks and so do you." I tone down the atheist holier-than-thou attitude (Oh the irony) in that case. Not that I really have this attitude externally but of all the things I could have an attitude about it is this. I'm prejudiced when it comes to religion. Yes, yes I am. I'm not proud of it but it is a bias I have. I tend to look down slightly on people who have faith. Not really people I know who have faith but people of faith as a general group. I'll save you a seat by the fire.
But Sassy, this is supposed to be about heteronormativity.
Why yes, you are quite right and I am getting to that post-haste. Stop interrupting me. Sheesh.
I understand what it means to be a minority, to an extent, because I experienced it in junior high. My school was 70% Hispanic, probably about 20% African American, and then 10% Caucasian. Being highly caucasian (you do NOT want to see my legs right now people. Don't believe me? Go to the picture of my back a few posts ago. Highly. Caucasian.) in a school of non-caucasians was eye opening. Very few white folks ever get to experience being a minority and judged solely on the color of their skin, something people of color experience every day.
As for religion, in college I took a good hard look at how I was raised (Lutheran) and what I believed in and then was planted in Texas for a couple of years where my views were confirmed because everywhere I turned someone was screaming at the top of their lungs their views which were the antithesis of mine. You really don't know what your views are until you know you disagree with someone else's. Again, I had actually experience to bring me to my intolerance of religion.
My experience with heteronormativity is different. I, like most (all) of us, am immersed in what is decidedly a heterosexual patriarchy. Being immersed within it, it is very difficult to see it from the outside and recognize it. Sure there are times when I'm like WTF?! and I can see and acknowledge gender roles and a lot of other male/female misogynist crap. Where I find myself failing is in my inability to see my heterocentricity as well as I see my other prejudices. It's not that I'm prejudice against homosexuality, it's that I don't always realize when something I say makes it seem like I am. Or at least that I'm thinking in a heterocentrist way.
I have many good friends who are gay. But I still say something I think is heterocentric and insensitive once in awhile. Let's see if I can give an example...when I was describing a few of my guy friends and how us going to lunch recently was innocent I said, "Well, he's married and he's gay." Both true, but the gay friend is also married. It didn't even cross my mind until someone pointed it out and then I felt awful. Another example is my post about lingerie. I stated, "Lingerie is not for women. It is for men." A lesbian friend of mine sent me that quote followed by "And lesbians. : )" Now, obviously, not being a lesbian I wouldn't necessarily know that. And I'm sure my anti-lingerie argument stands up despite this. However, there was never a point where my mind thought, I wonder what lesbians will think of this? Most of the time I do wonder what people of other races or religions will think of what I write if it has anything to do with race or religion. But sex, gender, and relationships? I'm still mired in heterocentricity.
And so my blog entry against heternormativity.
I'm going to bed. This one tuckered me out.
A few days ago it was Blog Against Heteronormativity Day. Utilizing the definition of heteronormativity from Blackademic: "in brief, heteronormativity is a term that can be used to describe institutions, policies and beliefs that reinforce the rigid categories of male and female. these categories, supposedly, determine our sex, sexuality, sexual desire, gender identity, and gender roles. therefore, there are expected behaviors for males (such as the patriarch of the nuclear family for example), as are there expected behaviors for females (the submissive wife to the patriarch, among other things). but we all know---THAT'S BULLSHIT!"
I haven't read anyone else's entry who blogged about this. And it may be a day (or two) late and a dollar short but I did want to address it.
I'm a very progressive person. I'm also very sensitive to what I say and how people of different backgrounds, religions, and races might translate it. I'm cautious about race and I've had people of color tell me I "get it" and that they know if they explain something to me I'm probably already on the same page. I'll readily admit that I can be slightly insensitive about religion, at least until I find out that you are actually religious and then I'm much more apt to temper my words and not say things like "God sucks and so do you." I tone down the atheist holier-than-thou attitude (Oh the irony) in that case. Not that I really have this attitude externally but of all the things I could have an attitude about it is this. I'm prejudiced when it comes to religion. Yes, yes I am. I'm not proud of it but it is a bias I have. I tend to look down slightly on people who have faith. Not really people I know who have faith but people of faith as a general group. I'll save you a seat by the fire.
But Sassy, this is supposed to be about heteronormativity.
Why yes, you are quite right and I am getting to that post-haste. Stop interrupting me. Sheesh.
I understand what it means to be a minority, to an extent, because I experienced it in junior high. My school was 70% Hispanic, probably about 20% African American, and then 10% Caucasian. Being highly caucasian (you do NOT want to see my legs right now people. Don't believe me? Go to the picture of my back a few posts ago. Highly. Caucasian.) in a school of non-caucasians was eye opening. Very few white folks ever get to experience being a minority and judged solely on the color of their skin, something people of color experience every day.
As for religion, in college I took a good hard look at how I was raised (Lutheran) and what I believed in and then was planted in Texas for a couple of years where my views were confirmed because everywhere I turned someone was screaming at the top of their lungs their views which were the antithesis of mine. You really don't know what your views are until you know you disagree with someone else's. Again, I had actually experience to bring me to my intolerance of religion.
My experience with heteronormativity is different. I, like most (all) of us, am immersed in what is decidedly a heterosexual patriarchy. Being immersed within it, it is very difficult to see it from the outside and recognize it. Sure there are times when I'm like WTF?! and I can see and acknowledge gender roles and a lot of other male/female misogynist crap. Where I find myself failing is in my inability to see my heterocentricity as well as I see my other prejudices. It's not that I'm prejudice against homosexuality, it's that I don't always realize when something I say makes it seem like I am. Or at least that I'm thinking in a heterocentrist way.
I have many good friends who are gay. But I still say something I think is heterocentric and insensitive once in awhile. Let's see if I can give an example...when I was describing a few of my guy friends and how us going to lunch recently was innocent I said, "Well, he's married and he's gay." Both true, but the gay friend is also married. It didn't even cross my mind until someone pointed it out and then I felt awful. Another example is my post about lingerie. I stated, "Lingerie is not for women. It is for men." A lesbian friend of mine sent me that quote followed by "And lesbians. : )" Now, obviously, not being a lesbian I wouldn't necessarily know that. And I'm sure my anti-lingerie argument stands up despite this. However, there was never a point where my mind thought, I wonder what lesbians will think of this? Most of the time I do wonder what people of other races or religions will think of what I write if it has anything to do with race or religion. But sex, gender, and relationships? I'm still mired in heterocentricity.
And so my blog entry against heternormativity.
I'm going to bed. This one tuckered me out.
Comments
I'm being too vague, and I think what I want to say is muddled.
Pretty recently, I had a moment like this, although mine was connected to race. Coming from a town with only .04% black people will really limit how well one understands what the world really looks like. :P Before I started blogging, a friend of mine repeatedly brought up a case down in Georgia(?) where a man was arrested and convicted for shooting a cop after the cops invaded his half of a duplex without a warrant for that residence. Without thinking, about the situation much at all, I ended up with the mental image of a white person. I was kind of shocked after I did a little bit of research into the case and came across a picture of the convicted man, and he was black. The shock was more at my assumption than his actual race. I didn't realize how confined I was by the experiences I had in my very white hometown. But as a result, I think it's made me a least a little more aware that I've got some biases and prejudices, and I can hopefully not make a similar (or worse) mistake in the future.
I agree, every time you get to see something from another angle is a wonderful learning experience. But only some people notice the lesson. I'm now paying more attention to the angle I'm seeing things from when it comes to hetero/homosexuality.
Read a magazine- if it's not a news magazine (and even if it is) everything is about finding/keeping/loving/sharing a life with a member of the opposite sex. Ever look at how many forms ask for your gender or how many times a day you're subtly asked to disclose or choose a gender (bathrooms, discussions about relationships, shopping to name a few).
Did i have a point here? I might not have--sorry people.
I ended up writing about my shock later on, and I got chastized by some random commenter about how "obvious" it was that the guy was black because a white person would never have been convicted and received the death penalty for a crime like that.
"Wait a minute! I assumed what?"
I have learned a lot about homosexuals and my once-outward perjudices with them when I started to live with a gay roommate. Nothing like saying "Gosh, gay people can be so catty sometimes" and then getting the immediate response "so can straight people". Opps, yes, once again, I forgot, but I just grouped cattiness with homosexuality. Well, remove foot please. Funny...