What, what? I was over there playing with the NaBloPoMo randomizer (truly a thing of beauty) when I landed at a site that mentioned the demise of the Federline/Spears relationship. (I apologize to the writer of that site, I hit back, back, back to get here and post and now I don't know who you are. Dang.) One of the reasons I gave up TV is because I really and truly shouldn't give a flying howdydoo about these people. And I don't. But without TV, I am cut out of the pop-culture gestalt. Not only does that mean I don't know diddly about what's going on in the world - except through my subscription to Time - it also means I'm going to suck royal doodoo at Trivia Pursuit very shortly.
But as for Britany - it's about freakin' time girlfriend. You started out with so much potential. I'll even admit I used to watch you and Justin and Christina and all the gang on the New Mickey Mouse Club. Either right before or after Saved by the Bell. What? Like you didn't. (I will not however, admit to owning a tape cassette of The Party. Nope. No way. I was way too cool for that - poodle perm, hammer pants, and shoulder pads not withstanding. Ok, ok. I was totally in love with the red headed guy whoever he was. Chase! That was his name! He too was rocking the poodle perm, hammer pants, and shoulder pads. It would have been a match made in heaven. Wonder what he's doing now?) But I digress...Britany, darling, I hope you pull yourself together, buy some comfy clothes that are preferably not made out of mesh, and treat those little ones the way they need to be treated. You've got oodles of money - take some time off. Relax. And for god sake do not date anyone who can't managed to buy clothes even remotely the right size. You're better than that. Stop being a girl and be a woman.
But as for Britany - it's about freakin' time girlfriend. You started out with so much potential. I'll even admit I used to watch you and Justin and Christina and all the gang on the New Mickey Mouse Club. Either right before or after Saved by the Bell. What? Like you didn't. (I will not however, admit to owning a tape cassette of The Party. Nope. No way. I was way too cool for that - poodle perm, hammer pants, and shoulder pads not withstanding. Ok, ok. I was totally in love with the red headed guy whoever he was. Chase! That was his name! He too was rocking the poodle perm, hammer pants, and shoulder pads. It would have been a match made in heaven. Wonder what he's doing now?) But I digress...Britany, darling, I hope you pull yourself together, buy some comfy clothes that are preferably not made out of mesh, and treat those little ones the way they need to be treated. You've got oodles of money - take some time off. Relax. And for god sake do not date anyone who can't managed to buy clothes even remotely the right size. You're better than that. Stop being a girl and be a woman.
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