Big Girl Underoos

You know that game you play with the other person or persons in your home where you each ration toilet paper squares in order to not have to be the one to change the roll? Yeah, that's a fun game.

This weekend is my brother's wedding. See my avatar for an approximation of what I will be looking like as a bridesmaid. Only the dress is floor length, my boobs aren't quite so fruit-like, and my waist can actually accommodate internal organs.

I was having a hard time finding anything to blog about so I decided to take a walk down memory lane and see what I was doing this time last year. Turns out, I was in the Bahamas ! Awesome. What's even more awesome is knowing that at this time last year I needed that vacation. I mean REALLY, really, REALLY needed that vacation. Really. And this year? Not so much. Sure, I'm busy and never get to see my friends and family but I'm not having a mental breakdown. In fact, I'm actually quite happy and content. And that makes me even more happy and content. My head was well on its way to exploding last year at this time and it's good to be reminded that all the changes I've made since then have been for the better. Now, two years ago I was rambling on about Eye Babies . I'd like to report that even two years later Friendster Guy and I are still having optical intercourse. Score for us. On another more disturbing note, sweet Mary and Joseph, do I sound like my mot...

In lieu of something edifying, here's a silly little meme I stole from Queen Geek I used "Sassy Danger Pants" as my name when it called for my actual name. Yes, Danger is my middle name. 1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (Mother and Father's middle name): Ruth Paul 2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad): Clarence Laurier 3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): Pansa 4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal!): Red Lion 5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born): Danger Boston 6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning): The Crimson Shirley Temple 7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 3 letters of your last name): Sants 8. GANGSTA NAME: ( fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie): Chocolate Fudge Brownie Thin Mint, but you can call me Cho Bro Mo for short. 9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name): Z...

It's freakin' cool to look hotter at 31 than I did at 21. And even if I don't (which I totally do) at least I feel like I do and that f'ing rocks. If I keep getting better with age (physically AND mentally) I'm SO looking forward to my 40s, 50s, etc...

Learn something and feed the world. www.freerice.com

Have you seen these ? I kinda hate myself for wanting to try on a pair. I am supposed to wear silver shoes in my brother's wedding...

Did you ever notice that when you really, really , need to pee and then you finally get to that it takes forever? Like after the initial whoosh everything comes out in a tiny little trickle that lasts and lasts and lasts. No? That doesn't happen to you? Oh. Nevermind. Uh, check out his bizarre statue and forget I said anything.

I'd like to make a public apology to everyone in my life who I feel I am neglecting - especially NPapaya and every member of my family. I can't remember the last time I talked to my mom on the phone. Honestly, it might have been January. No joke. That's just wrong. (Although the phone does work both ways.) It's a good thing Friendster Guy is as busy as I am and that we share the same living space or I'd have one more person to feel guilty about not spending time with. It's not that my life is chaotic or frenzied it's just that it's so...constant. I have just enough time to do the things I need to do and not as much to do the things I want to do. I have to find some balance. I'll gonna get right on that. When I find the time.