Thursday, November 30, 2006

My One Year Divorceaversary

Happy Divorceaversary to me.
Happy Divorceaversary to me.
Happy Divorceaversary to MEEee!
Happy Divorceaversary to me.

That's right folks, one year ago today my divorce was final. I had thought it was December 1st but it's today. This is just as well because tomorrow is a different one year anniversary - it's the day I met Friendster Guy! Yeah!

I'll tell you what, if I knew then how satisfying my life would be post-divorce, I would have gotten divorced in 2003, not 2005. Seriously. I went and saw a counselor in 2003 and that was the first time I muttered the word divorce. I guess at that point I wasn't quite ready. I wanted to give the relationship a try. Unfortunately X didn't. Which, in the long run, worked out for the best. It made for a bitch of a 2004-2005 but it made for a fabulous 2006. Here's to a great future.

P.S. Happy last day of NaBloPoMo. Welcome to my Personal Thesis Writing Month (PerTheWriMo - it doesn't quite have the same ring though does it?)

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Unexpected savings

I just saved $47 by switching to Geico!

Sort of. I DID save $47 but I already had Geico. I just updated my renters insurance with my new address and, lo and behold, for some reason my new town saves me $47 a year - probably because I'm less than half a mile from the fire station. This is quite awesome since the only reason I remembered to call them and change my address was because they sent me my annual bill. And now it's $47 less. Almost 19% off. I'm totally doing a happy dance in my seat right now.

It didn't change my car insurance but turning 30 did a few months back so I can't complain.

Now if only Sallie Mae would get off my back. Dang student loans.

Shit on a shingle isn't bad either

Me - You know what we should do next year? We should have a Turducken.

Friendster guy - Why?

Me - Because it's cool. Then we could ask people if they've ever had Turducken and when they say "No" we can say "We have. Losers."

FG - silence

Me- What?! It would be cool!

FG - Yeah, because any food product that starts with "Turd" is a good idea.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I can't wait for Dec. 26th

Today I finished buying all my families Xmas presents! Whoo hoo! Now I just have to tackle a couple friends, Friendster Guy, and my coworkers. I didn't know about the coworkers until this week. Dang.

And I have to put a few things together before they are completely done...

Then I have to wrap... (although that will most likely involve gift bags. Wonderful little things. And reusable!)

Sigh...
Even when it feels like I've reached the end, it isn't.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles - and some random stuff

I dared to brave the scale today and, miraculously, I gained nary a pound during the holiday's overindulgences (including an abundance of leftovers). I may have even lost an ounce or two. It probably helped that I'm not a big fan of pumpkin or apple pie. If there had been chocolate of the cakelike variety (cake, brownies, lava/pudding cake - I LOVE that stuff) it may have been a different scenario. I have one more Thanksgiving tomorrow. That's right, the hits just keep a comin'. This one is with Friendster Guy's parents. I'm looking forward to it.

Random Thought #1:

I love seeing really old guys driving cars with liberal bumper stickers. Not only do I say a little cheer for another liberal among us, but I also receive a kick in the (sassy) pants about my assumptions and prejudices. Don't judge a book by it's cover little lady.

Random Thought #2:

Why does spam (the email kind) exist? Can there really be that many people out there who just don't understand that it's a scam and fall for it to make sending out annoying emails to millions of people worthwhile? I mean just figuring out how to spell mortgage and erection 300 different ways to get past the spam censors would make it not worth it to me.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Getting there can be the battle

I'd like to give mad props to Friendster Guy for helping me move my refrigerator door from one side to the other so I don't have to walk around the door any longer to get into the fridge. (There's nothing more frustrating.) The poor man walked into the project already in progress and about to fall into disarray. I'd pretty much taken everything apart and just discovered that it was no longer a one person job when he arrived at my house. Since neither of us knew really what we were doing it could have gone FUBAR really quick. We could have had not only melted ice cream but also a meltdown. Instead, we not only got the job done but even managed a little laughter when we discovered a part we'd taken off but hadn't put back on. Even upon inspection, we still weren't actually sure where it was supposed to go.

If it had been my X who had walked into such a situation, well, let's just say I wouldn't be able to say that I actually enjoyed the time together. Something about the two of us didn't work when it came to putting things together. I'll admit to my fair share in the problem. I absorb other people's emotions and my X tended to start at annoyed and stressed when it came to these sort of projects so therefore, I was annoyed and stressed too. I also think we both had a bit of an ego. We didn't actually sing, "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better," but I know I was thinking it.

I don't know what it is about FG but he remains so calm. I don't get that "back the $#@& away from me bitch" vibe that I was so used to. The result is that I remain calm as well and don't turn around with a screwdriver ready to strike. I don't think it's a beginning of the relationship utopia thing either. X and I started out at odds but didn't realize the extent of the problem, because, really, how much furniture do you really need to put together in college? An egg crate doesn't require a lot of maintenance. We learned later on to just leave each other alone and make sure to have two phillips head screwdrivers.

I really appreciate what FG and I have in this regard. He even admitted I was right when we finally determined where the "extra" part went. Ladies, I know what you're thinking - it's a Thanksgiving miracle! But no, it's just two people putting aside ego, ok, ME putting aside ego, and getting a job done. I don't think FG comes to these sort of projects with something to prove, just a goal to complete.

How great is it that now I actually enjoy the process of getting there as much as the finished product?

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Some random (and potentially boring) things

1) Why would my insurance company send me a notice stating that they received my change of address to the old address I just changed it from?

2) I was driving to my sister's house today for my niece's birthday and stopped halfway there to pick up birthday candles (my sister forgot them.) Halfway to my sister's is about 35-40 minutes away from my house. I start walking into the grocery store and who is walking in front of me? My OB/GYN. I think I need to move somewhere with a larger population base, this is just ridiculous.

3) I survived my niece's party with X's New Girlfriend but without Friendster Guy. It wasn't that bad because my niece had a friend there so paid no attention to any of the adults. Therefore she did no bonding with X'sNGF. Ha!

4) Last night I had a dream that I was a swimsuit model. It was a dream and not a nightmare because somehow I managed to actually look like a swimsuit model. Then I woke up and couldn't button my jeans. Bolux!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Cinco Chascos de mi Juventud

Inspired by Old Blue Socks - Here are 5 of my childhood disappointments. (Not exactly the best of subjects given that I'm supposed to be thinking about things I'm grateful for but whatever.)

1) "I was disappointed that nobody ever saw Mr. Snuffalupagus." I'm totally stealing this from Old Blue Socks because it is exactly right, I even watched the episode as a grown-up when they finally saw him.

2) I was disappointed in the Christmas where I got the same exact things my sister did only in a different color. This wouldn't have been so bad if my family's tradition wasn't to open presents in order of age with youngest going first. By the time they got to me, the eldest, I had already determined which item was the umbrella, belt, doll, earrings and pajamas. Not to mention that no one was paying attention to me anymore because I was 12 and my brother was 4 and therefore was 1) cuter and 2) demanded more attention.

3) I was terribly, terribly sad when they took Wizards and Warriors off the air. It was only on for 8 episodes but according to my mother I cried and cried as if my favorite pet had just died (although #4 below will explain why that isn't really the best anology). Apparently I have been a lover of scifi/fantasy since I was 7.

4) I was disappointed that my cat, Alex, was an evil creature and not a snuggly loveable creature I could have sit on my lap.

5) I was disappointed that after my 86th straight-A report card my parents stopped being excited and instead would jokingly/sarcastically say things like, "Here comes another one." or "Couldn't you have done better?"

All in all I don't have a lot I'm disappointed about. It was quite difficult just coming up with this list of 5 actually. I think I could come up with more from my adult life but I will refrain.

Guess what?!

I worked on my thesis today. Go me!

AND I took a special 2 hour post-Thanksgiving "Unstuffathon" class at the gym. It was a combination of step, kick boxing, whatever they are now calling "jazzercise," weights and abs. I am going to be SORE tomorrow. Heck, I'm sore now.

I also hung up a bunch of pictures in my new apartment.

And it's only 3pm! I'm sure I'll slow down soon. Until then, off to try to get a few more paragraphs of my thesis interviews edited.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Meme

I discovered this one over at Two Boys and an Angel.
What can I say, the tryptophan took away my creative juices.

1. Explain what ended your last relationship.
We didn't love each other anymore. I realized it. He didn't. I put up with essentially a roomate for a long time while trying to fix things. He was happy with status quo. I said screw that.

2. When was the last time you shaved?
This morning

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Waiting for my Dad to arrive so we can drive to my grandmothers.

4. Are you any good at math?
Yes, sort of. I was forced to take accelerated courses in Junior High and I would cry when I did my homework because it was so hard.

5. Your prom night, what do you remember about it?
My date asked me to go steady with him. Oh, and I looked fabulous!

6. Do you have any famous ancestors?
No. But my step-mother is related to William Shakespeare's wife.

7. Have you had to take a loan out for school?
Yes and I just restarted paying them back.

8. Last thing received in the mail?
Four freaking telephone books. Two of which were identical. Let's kill a few trees shall we? WTF?

9. How many different beverages have you had today?
It's only 8am. Just water.

10. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?
Yes. But I try to keep them brief. I usually don't succeed.

11. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
James Taylor. And he sang and he sang and he sang. We had to leave during his 3rd or 4th encore because we had a long drive home.

12. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Yes.

13. What's the most painful dental procedure you've ever had?
Other than the time my dental hygenist (who was also my dance teacher) was bitching to my Mom about her ex-fiance who dumped her (who happened to be the dentist) while cleaning my teeth (let's just say it was a little rough), I'd have to say having my wisdom teeth removed. I opted not to be knocked out and then drove myself home. The pain killers made me vomit so I spent a lot of time on the couch whimpering, "I want my mommy." My "Mommy" happened to be on vacation.

14. What is out your back door?
My apartment has no back door. Much to Friendster Guys chagrine there are no readily accessible escape routes.

15. Any plans for Friday night?
Continuing to digest the two Thanksgiving meals I attended and hanging with FG.

16. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
Yes. It thickens it and even though it looks wild and crazy it looks like I have more of it. Plus, it means I've been at the beach and that is never a bad thing.

17. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
Yes. And worse, after I quit grad school and was wandering aimlessly, I worked for a store that made the popcorn and the tins. Let's just say it wasn't the least caloric of my various jobs. You'd get some sweet, then some salty, then a different sweet, then cheesy. It was a never ending cycle.

18. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes but it was a long time ago in a galaxy far away...

19. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Hell yes. There's only so much laundry a girl can tolerate.

20. Some things you are excited about?
Christmas vacation
Figuring out where I'm going to go on my next vacation
Any vacation

21. What is your favorite flavor of Jell-O?
Blech. I don't like jello.

22. Describe your keychain.
I don't really have one unless you count the remote car starter and a few store discount cards (Pricechopper, CVS).

23. Where do you keep your change?
In a pocket in my purse. Also in a jar on my desk.

24. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
Monday.

25. What kind of winter coat do you own?
A big, puffy, red down coat.

26. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Freakin' hot and sunny. I had to be careful not to get a sun burn because I was getting married two days later. I didn't want a line delineating white and red across my forehead from the hat.

27. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open if I'm alone because I forget to close it, closed if FG is there. He always closes it.

Gobble Gobble

Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house I go!

Literally.

I'm driving from the VT side of NH up to the NH border of ME (Maine) which will take about 3 hours. I'm stuffing my face and then turning around and making the drive again. My car will also include my Dad and my stepmother. Luckily they are letting me drive. I get motion sick, especially in standards and on the very twisty/up-down roads we'll be going on. I'd like to keep my thanksgiving dinner thank you very much.

On that note, Happy Turkey Day!

And oh yeah, I'm grateful for a whole lot of stuff.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Shades of Gray

Sometimes I wish I saw the world in black and white. Like George W. Despite the fact that he is the leader* of the free world, life is so much simpler for him. There is right and there is wrong. There is very little else. With the world being black and white you know exactly which side you are on and how to react. You know who your enemies are and who your friends are (or at least you think you know) and there are clear and defined loyalties. But the world is not black and white. And my life is certainly not black and white. It's a whole heck of a lot of shades of gray and those varied hues make my life difficult.

The current gray issue is my niece's birthday party. Most of my family will be there - including both sets of parents who at least get along at a distance. It's tradition to get together at my sister's for frivolity, food, and drink (lots of drink). My niece does not yet know that birthday parties usually include people of the birthday celebrants own age so she thinks it's great to have 20 somewhat drunk adults hanging out at her house. My sister also throws other parties throughout the year that my siblings and I are invited to. It's the way we bond.

Friendster Guy is an only child and does not have this sort of relationship with his relatives (I would guess few people do). He's never been to one of these parties and we had intelligently determined that he wasn't quite ready for the Disney World trip because that's a little too much togetherness. At the same time I really want him to get to know my family. After all, when you think about it, he's sorta my family now too. These sort of gatherings are how the bonding happens. Especially since we're not spending Thanksgiving or Christmas together because he is working. Unfortunately, he is also working the night of this birthday party. But we'll get to that in a moment.

Adding a level of grayness is the fact that my X was invited to the party. If the world were black and white I would tell my sister not to invite him. It's my family after all. However, my X is good friends with my family and has known and loved our niece since before she was born so I can't exactly cut him off. I am a nice person after all (damn it!). The real kicker is that not only is X going but so is X's new girlfriend (X's NGF). She must really be smitten by my X because I can't imagine that "Please come to a birthday party with my ex-wife's family" was high on her list of favorite invitations.

My fear is that my family will come to know X's NGF more than they will know Friendster Guy. I really don't want to be a pain in the ass and beg FG to go or be a bitch and tell my sister to uninvite X's NGF. If the world were black and white, things would be so much easier.

FG is trying to get the time off somehow and I really appreciate that. But we did have a moment last night where I felt bad for even asking. Group events aren't exactly his cup of tea and neither is using vacation time. I don't want him to go if he doesn't want to. But the only way to get used to being there is to go. Of course it's going to be uncomfortable if he doesn't really know my family, but that's why I want him to get to know them. In all honesty, my X used to complain about it too, and now look, I can't fucking get rid of him.

I don't want FG to go because X's NGF will be there. I want him to go because it's a way to get to know my family and my family to get to know him. So far all they know is that "he seems nice but is very quiet," which is true but was also true of all my siblings' significant others until they started getting to know each other. Hell, it took me three plus years to hold a conversation with my brother-in-law. And I still haven't really talked with my step brother's wife and she was at Disney World with us.

Friendster Guy is a little more black and white than I am and he pretty much thinks that I should tell my family that we're not going and that X and X's NGF can represent us at the gathering. It puts me in an awkward position because on the one hand he's right, it is pretty shitty to have to share my family with my X and especially X's NGF, but with the grayness it's not so simple and it stresses me out. My loyalties are being stretched. In fairness, FG is trying really hard to get the time off but at the same time he doesn't exactly seem too happy about it and I feel bad about making him do something he doesn't want to do. I love FG. I love my family. I feel a little trapped in the middle right now trying to make everyone happy while also making sure I'm happy.

I'm sure it will all work itself out, even if I have to go alone. I'm not dreading the event itself although I'm fairly certain FG is. If nothing else I will be happy to see my niece and share in her day. Unless she decides to bond with X's NGF and then all bets are off. I'm gonna have to open up a can of whoop ass. Or at least I'll want to.

I'm too freaking nice.


* or at least figurehead/puppet

I'll take Too Close For Comfort for 1000, Alex

As my long term readers know, I have some very strange and unusual coincidences happen in my life. You may recall that my X's new girlfriend and Friendster Guy (i.e. my boyfriend for you newbies) live four doors down from each other in the same apartment complex.

I'd like to add a couple more things to the list I like to call "Why my life is collapsing in on itself."

1) My best bud and sometimes guest blogger Npapaya is looking around at new apartments. She sent me a description of one she was going to go look at yesterday and lo and behold, it is the apartment that X is moving out of in January to move in with his new girlfriend right down the parking lot from Friendster Guy. I have not yet touched base with Npapaya to see how she liked it so I don't know if worlds are going to officially collide.

2) While talking to FG about the strange inability of my life to expand its horizons, he told me his own anecdote. When he moved here he called the first apartment ad he found (and subsequently rented the space, which, have I mentioned, is just down the way from X's new girlfriend's?) and the landlord turned out to be a friend of his ex-girlfriend that he knew.

Pretty soon my life is going to collapse so far in on itself I'm going to be a black hole.

The one saving grace is that Friendster Guy never dated X's new girlfriend. Thank goodness for small miracles.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Happy %$#@! Holidays

Life is hard.

I/We are especially reminded of this around the holidays when we are pulled in so many different directions by so many competing priorities - family, friends, loved ones, shopping, deadlines, money (or lack thereof), events, weight gain, work, blogs, end of year finishing of things, or remembering all the things we haven't finished. Sigh...I'm getting stressed just thinking about it.

Every year I try to keep things simple. I've tried to get my siblings to agree to a secret santa instead of having to buy presents for 6-8 people (sibs + significant others). It hasn't worked. So instead I try to buy my presents months in advance. This year, however, things have gotten away from me. I haven't even bought my niece's birthday present for this Saturday.

I have a feeling that I'm about to become stressed. Like it's in a pot that's about to boil over. I've been so good for the last few months. Even when things have been hectic at work I haven't felt that stressed out. That feeling that I'm about to panic has been kept at bay for so long that I'm not quite sure what to do with it now that it's knocking on my door. I've got so many things swirling in my head right now - buying presents, unpacking, changing my address, working on my thesis, making sure I spend time with FG, with my family, and then also making sure I spend time with my other friends (who I actually want to spend time with and who always seem to come last). I tell you what, I can't even imagine if my life also included kids. Although, at least then I'd have a good excuse to ignore people or choose not to drive the three hours each way up and back to Maine for Thanksgiving in one day. "Sorry, gotta [fill in verb here] with the kids!"

I think I need to sit down and write a "to do" list. I always feel better when I can see all I have to do instead of having it swirling around in my head making me worried that I'm forgetting something. It didn't help that when I got my mail yesterday two of the bills were overdue because of my vacation and the fact that they went to my old address first. Thank goodness for on-line bill pay. I could at least avoid the further delay of snail mail.

AND, I mucked up NaBloPoMo by not posting yesterday. Dang it. I know I was pretty much shirking the rules anyway what with vacation and guest bloggers but at least when I was around an internet connection I was posting. Whatever. Life goes on. Even when it's hard.

And it could always be way worse. (How's that for looking on the bright side?)

Sunday, November 19, 2006

I'm baaack...

...and what I should be doing is unpacking, but what am I doing instead? Blogging. My priorities are either out of, or right in, whack, depending on your perspective.

I'd like to thank NPapaya and Friendster Guy for filling the void for me while I was in Disney World. I don't know about you but I got a little hot under the collar, in a good way, while reading Mmm...chocolate lovin' by Miss Papaya. That is not the kind of event or experience you often find up here in the Upper Valley. Whew! *Sassy Pants fans herself a little*

I'm also looking forward to seeing Friendster Guy and his new glasses. It's been a long week without my co-pilot. There's only so much family you can take without having someone else on your side to vent to. I did get a little venting in via phone but it's not quite the same.

By day six the family (my sister, her husband, my niece, my brother, his girlfriend, my mother, my stepfather, my step-brother, his wife and her mother!) started to get on each other's nerves, especially my stepfather. He prides himself on being a jerk and a bubba and you can only take so much. I was reminded once again why I liked him more after I stopped living with him. I took offense to his saying "You need to learn to chill" in his own particular obnoxious way after I'd been amazingly calm and relaxed the entire time. I'll admit that in the past I was a little high strung but when no one is making any decisions, someone has to step up and that person is going to look anal-retentive and bossy, and historically that person was me. This time I decided to go 100% with the flow and I did. His comment came when I jokingly said "Let's go people! Chop, chop!" to my brother's girlfriend who was starving with me and everyone else seemed to be in slow motion. If I wasn't being "chill" I would have said it to the people who weren't moving. But whatever. Anyway, I was annoyed and it's hard to express it here because it's one of those family history things. You know the ones - those buttons that can be pushed so you instantly get your panties in a twist and you just want to punch someone. Yeah, those. My stepfather is adept at pushing those buttons and discovering new ones.

However, considering how much together time we had we did quite well. No one was killed and I only had to find some quiet time away once. Luckily, the house we rented was big and has lots of bedrooms so we could get away when necessary.

I'm going to go unpack now. I'll regale you with stories and pictures of Disney World at a later time. As soon as I download all 8 gillion of them.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

What the...???

npapaya just can't resist speaking up on this:

I really wish I knew how to post links in this blog. Dang it Sassy, get back here!

If there was ever a What the F***?! moment it came today as OJ Simpson and Fox announced their new show called If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened, will air on November 27 and 29. Basically, this is a preview of the book he's written by a similar (if not the same) title.
I don't know about y'all but I thought this was pretty sick. And I gotta tell you- how many people do you know who
a) knew someone who was murdered
b) was charged with that murder, but denied responsibility
c) then went on to say "well, hmm, just for kicks let's think about this...how WOULD I have done that? Let's just walk through it shall we?"

I feel sorry for his kids, cause I gotta tell you that's tacking on about 10+ years of heavy therapy right there.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Visions of Customer Service

FG signing in.

I managed to lose my only decent pair of eyeglasses at work the other morning. I promptly phoned up my old eye-care provider and explained that I was in a bit of a pickle: could they fax me my prescription here on the other side of the state? No, it expired in June, it having been two years since my last exam. Okay, but I can't see, and I need to be able to see. Well, they can't fax it without the Doc's permission, and he's on vacation until Monday. Period.

No referral, no helpful suggestion, no apology. Just no.

So, I guess I need not bother driving over there to remain their customer. A local shop here will be receiving my business. They graciously hooked me up with an appointment and a new set of specs within a 24 hour period.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Mmm...chocolate lovin'

Hi there- this is Npapaya. You've heard bits and pieces about me through Sassy's blog, but now I'm live and not Memorex (for those who can remember that tag line). A quick bit about me-I'm nearly 32, Black, single, female, and live in NH. No, I am not crazy, though at times I wonder.

Here's the thing. I've lived here for 6 yrs & I've dated just about everybody-white, asian, indian, non-citizens, and even women (long story, let's not go there right now). Living in a rural area is not the time to have a whole lot of preferences besides "has own teeth, job, and education." So, as much as I would like to meet a "brown" man I'm not holding my breath.

But last night I felt a little like a kid at Disneyworld. I was invited to an event with nearly 90+ people of color-many of whom were Black men- professional, cute, handsome, over 25 Black men. Yummm.


Not only were these hot prospects they were also captive prospects- brought here for the weekend they were without cars and unfamiliar with my turf. The only gig in town was a party hosted for them and other similarly aged people. Add free drinks, bumpin' music, and a small dance floor and I was giddy.

Over the course of the evening I was reminded of one area where Black men have White men beat (get your minds out of the gutter people!). With a Black man his appreciation for you as a woman is written all over his face and body- there's no hiding it, and this is w/o being drunk. They simply admire openly and aren't shy about showing it. They're less coy than other men I've met. When he looks at you -if he's interested- he holds your eyes-his eyes smile and there's a definite heat behind them. Even decked in suit looking so cool and professional his gaze caresses your neck, lingers at your waist, and finally, draws you to smile and give it right back to him- all before you even have a chance to be nervous.

Maybe it's because there's less guessing- you just KNOW he wants to at least talk to you,see your lips up close & take in your scent. It's scrumptious. Every woman should experience this...just that exchange of heat is incredible. Let's just say that shy little ol' me was dancing and flirting and eek,grinding a little by the end of the evening and I've still got a smile on my face.
Am I drooling over here?

Friday, November 10, 2006

Master of my own destiny

I had lunch with my thesis advisor and several of her advisees today. I specifically sat across from her so I could riddle myself with guilt since I have not been working on my thesis at all.

I never used to be a procrastinator. This is really the only thing I've ever procrastinated on. Of course I have been a little busy. Divorce, new apartment, dating frenzy, new boyfriend, new job, another new apartment, four weddings and a funeral, a full time job that involves writing so who wants to go home and write more?, and a social life of sorts. Granted, if I spent as much time working on my thesis as I do blogging I'd be done by now.

So today at lunch I told my thesis advisor that she needs to lay the guilt on as thickly as possible. If she ever thinks of me she needs to drop me a line and ask, "How's the thesis going?" I generally don't need pushing on projects. I've always been that annoying person who is done term papers days in advance. In fact, unless you are the person to whom I am responsible, pushing me to do something usually has the opposite affect. You push me and I'll dig my heals in further. I have a very childish response to anyone but my professor mentioning that I should be working on it. I literally have an internal hissy fit and I totally bristle - "Who are you to tell me to work on it?! Screw you. I'm going to go watch TV." Like right now, just the thought of someone asking me how they can help me move forward on the project makes me want to punch someone. Moral of the story: I'd advise you not to advise me on my thesis.

It has, however, come to the time when I need to buckle down and work on this thing. I have to have a pretty good draft by March if I want to graduate. And if I don't want to be freaking out in March it should be as close to a final draft as possible at that time. It's not even going to be that hard once I get my act together. And getting my act together simply means sitting my ass down for longer than 10 minutes and going for it. As soon as I'm back from vacation, that's it - full steam ahead. Seriously. Except for the holidays, I have nothing on my plate. And FG starts working on the weekends consistently soon so I'll have no excuse.

My thesis advisor did give me a task - when I get back I have to put together an annotated table of contents. This is good. I needed a first step to the next phase of my project.

FYI: For those of you new to Big Girl Underoos and my life, I am getting a Masters and my thesis is an oral history of the town I grew up in. It was a mill town and it's been slowly dieing the death of so many mill towns. I have completed the interviews. I have transcribed the interviews. I have edited half of the interviews so they make more sense and all the things that a person talked about on a subject are in one place. All I have to do now is finish editing and put everything together into a story that makes sense. So you see, in the grand scheme of slackers, I haven't really been doing too bad. But it has been over a year since I started so...

Wish me luck (but don't tell me I should do it. I'll just rebel. Pathetic.)

Drum Roll Please.....

And now, please welcome to the center ring, your favorite guest bloggers and mine, NPapaya and Friendster Guy! Yyaaayyyy!!!!

That's right - I know I've said this before but - while on vacation my fabulous friend NPapaya, and my fabulous boyfriend Friendster Guy will be taking over my fabulous blog. It's simply too fabulous!

I don't know what they are going to say! I don't know what they are going to do! They are giving blogging a whirl for the first time so stop by often and encourage them.

And don't miss me too much. (Knowing me I'll probably post later in the day today but after that, that's it! I'm outta here until at least the 19th.)

By the way, Happy Veterans Day, especially to all you people stuck at work like I am. There's nothing quite like celebrating the people who fought for our country by sitting at your desk blogging, er, working.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Complaint of the day

I'm going to preempt Friendster Guy's complaining and do a little bit of my own.

What is wrong with people that they don't know how to walk on sidewalks?!

I was on my lunch break and I had a near collision with someone who managed to get into an Ivy League institution but can't seem to understand that if I'm walking on the right hand side of the pathway, and there is a pathway going off to my right that I want to take, you probably shouldn't continue straight across the pathway on the wrong side of the path because I now have to circle around you (since you aren't moving out of my way) and then be forced to backtrack slightly because I've now passed my "exit."

Walk like you drive people! Walk like you drive.

Watch out for the testosterone

Look out folks, there may be a decidely masculine vibe here at Big Girl Underoos for the next week or so. Friendster Guy has accepted my invitation to be a guest blogger while I am on vacation at the happiest place on earth with my family - he wasn't quite ready to join the 10 or so of us on this particular trip. I can't say I blame him. My family is short, frenetic, and we're going to Disney World. At a silent 6'2", poor FG would think he was in Munchkin Land on ecstasy. Seriously. No one is quite ready for that.

I've got a couple more invitations out there and I'm just waiting to hear back. My only request is that they introduce themselves so everyone knows they aren't me, Sassy Pants.

Friendster Guy says he's going to write about blood and guts, and complain about stuff. Won't that be lovely.

I'm looking forward to seeing how my blog is hijacked.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I may be engaged

Now that I have your attention...

While I was continuing the never ending packing I've been doing since I moved last weekend, Friendster Guy hollered at me from the living room, "You wanna get married?" If I hadn't known the context I would have been one shocked woman. For one, I would hope he had a little more of a romantic streak. For another, this is a man who has yet to say the L word. A marriage proposal was not something I was prepared for. And, in reality, it wasn't something he was legitimately offering. You see, he spent at least a half an hour on You Tube watching a series of these videos called "Will It Blend?". He was just hoping we could register for one of the $400 industrial strength blenders. Actually, he was hoping we could register for 2 - his and hers if you will.


I didn't say yes.

But it does make me wonder what other cool stuff we could get.

I love November 8th

You hear that?

That is the blissful sound of our media outlets no longer forcing us to listen to politicians yelling at one another via commercials full of vitriol and lies.

You know, if we non-politicians used the same tactics at work we'd all be fired and probably have some sort of harassment suit brought against us.

No matter how much I'd like to I can't stand at the photocopier screaming at the top of my lungs, "Joe Schmoe is a two-faced liar! What has he done for this company? Nothing but drag us into a quagmire and spend all our money. Not only that, but he's morally repugnant and I hate everything he stands for!"

Yup, totally fired. Or at least sent to counseling and maybe diagnosed with Tourettes.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I am SOOO out of the loop

What, what? I was over there playing with the NaBloPoMo randomizer (truly a thing of beauty) when I landed at a site that mentioned the demise of the Federline/Spears relationship. (I apologize to the writer of that site, I hit back, back, back to get here and post and now I don't know who you are. Dang.) One of the reasons I gave up TV is because I really and truly shouldn't give a flying howdydoo about these people. And I don't. But without TV, I am cut out of the pop-culture gestalt. Not only does that mean I don't know diddly about what's going on in the world - except through my subscription to Time - it also means I'm going to suck royal doodoo at Trivia Pursuit very shortly.

But as for Britany - it's about freakin' time girlfriend. You started out with so much potential. I'll even admit I used to watch you and Justin and Christina and all the gang on the New Mickey Mouse Club. Either right before or after Saved by the Bell. What? Like you didn't. (I will not however, admit to owning a tape cassette of The Party. Nope. No way. I was way too cool for that - poodle perm, hammer pants, and shoulder pads not withstanding. Ok, ok. I was totally in love with the red headed guy whoever he was. Chase! That was his name! He too was rocking the poodle perm, hammer pants, and shoulder pads. It would have been a match made in heaven. Wonder what he's doing now?) But I digress...Britany, darling, I hope you pull yourself together, buy some comfy clothes that are preferably not made out of mesh, and treat those little ones the way they need to be treated. You've got oodles of money - take some time off. Relax. And for god sake do not date anyone who can't managed to buy clothes even remotely the right size. You're better than that. Stop being a girl and be a woman.

Didja do your civic duty?

Did you vote today?

I love my polling place. It's the first place I ever went to cast a ballot in person. Every time before that I'd done absentee ballots. I go to the town hall and it's all so very small town. I always see someone I know there and this time was no different. The room they hold it in has a stage at one end. You can almost see the local productions kids, and for that matter adults, have put on there from time to time. It always feels so patriotic with the red, white and blue bunting- very West Wing, American President, Dave-esque.

It's still early but so far it looks like I backed the right horses - or donkeys as the case may be.

Good luck in your district. And if you didn't vote, I don't want to hear you complaining. You'll do it next time though, right?

Monday, November 06, 2006

Success! ...of sorts

Look, look! I managed to add a picture to my profile. See, on the right there. It's not perfect but it's a place to start.

And with that, good night.

Waiter, there's too much pepper on my paprikash*

I think I was most interesting, in a bloggy sort of way, back when I was still going through my post-divorce dating frenzy (see archives from Oct 05 to about Feb 06 when I finally settled down with Friendster Guy) Don't get me wrong, my life is much more fulfilling and I'm super happy now but when it comes to exciting stories for other people to read and hang on my every word, well, it's not quite the same.

At some point, now that I've mostly settled into my new apartment, I may be able to give you a play by play on my thesis writing. Won't that be a treat. It won't be interesting but it will be frenzied. I have to have a draft by March and considering that I started it in September 05 and it is now November 06 I should be a lot further along in the process at this point. But now with the holiday season upon us...

I think I'll have to make December NaTheWriMo.

* There is no point to the title of this post other than I just finished watching When Harry Met Sally while lounging on my couch trying to shake this freaking cold thing I seem to have adopted as a pet. And speaking of pets, here's a picture of Max, the dog my brother and his girlfriend just adopted. So ugly he's cute, no? Like a little Ewok. Yub yub.


Missing the point

Overheard at the Dunkin Donuts drive through.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'd like a low-carb bagel with tofu cream cheese."

"Anything else?"

"A medium Dunkachino*"

I sure hope someone else was in the car with him because that's the most off-balance way to get a "balanced" diet I ever heard.

* 35g carbs (0g fiber, 25g sugar)

Sunday, November 05, 2006

I'm baacck

I have returned from my friend's wedding in Saratoga Springs, NY. I'm a little tired. I got in at 2pm, decided to take a nap, and just barely got out of bed at 7pm. It was a struggle. That's the fourth wedding Friendster Guy and I have attended since June. Only one of those did not require an overnight stay. In fact, now that I think about it, all of the ones we travelled to were in NY - West Chester, Brooklyn, and Saratoga Springs. Given that we live half way up NH that's a lot of driving. Luckily, there are no more weddings on the horizon - just a trip to Disney World (sans Friendster Guy), Thanksgiving, my nieces birthday, and Christmas. Just. I'm getting a little tired thinking about it. I think I'm going to go warm up some leftover pizza and watch an episode or two of Northern Exposure (Netflix rocks!) and go back to bed.

But before I do that, here's another edition of:

Sassy Pants's
Discover a New Blog!

This edition includes five ladies who came to Big Girl Underoos and took it upon themselves to add a comment or two. Thanks and welcome! I'm also going to reciprocate a link to More Kisses Please who, like me, is linking to NaBloPoMo participants who's blog titles catch her attention is some way. (Forgive me if I miss linking to you this time if you've commented - I have a second list I'm using to keep track of commentors at work. I'll getcha up here sometime. Don't worry!)

Evonne at Just a Girl
Southern Fried Mom at Grits with Cheese
Stuntmother at I Do All My Own Stunts
Queen Geek at The Real Queen Geek
Black Daisies at Pluck the Petal

By the way, my X and his new girlfriend were not a problem at this latest wedding. The best thing was, I got to sit with all our college friends while he was relegated to another table that the new girlfriend was more familiar with. (The groom had introduced the two of them a few months ago.) I really love my college friends so we had a blast. Friendster Guy (FG) seemed to fit right in and that made me happy. We can sometimes be a tough crowd. In fact, my gay friend B declared that he liked my taste in men (he had previosly been a big fan of X) so I'd take that as a ringing endorsement of FG if there ever was one. X and X's NGF (I can't keep typing New Girlfriend) seemed to keep to themselves a lot. I felt kind of bad actually that X didn't get to be with the college friends but whatever. If it hadn't been for me he wouldn't have been as close as he was with them. He's not exactly a go out and socialize kind of guy. I did pull Friendster Guy to another section of the dance floor when I discovered we were slow dancing next to each other though. That's still a little weird.

You know what was funny? X looked smaller somehow. I don't know if it was the new suit or the fact that FG has 3 inches on him (5'11" vs 6'2") or that X'sNGF is a lot closer in size to him than I am (5'2" vs. about 5'7") but he looked really small to me. Even short. I will say, in all appropriate catiness (it's my blog after all) I'm WAY cuter than X's NGF. : )

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Four weddings and a funeral

Off to the fourth wedding Friendster Guy and I have attended. My X and his new girlfriend will also be there.

Should be interesting.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Practice Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty(ful Dresses)

I'd just like to give a shout out to the random stranger who helped extricate me from a dress I'd somehow zipped myself into but couldn't get out of at JCPenney this evening. Thanks, nice lady, for not making me have to walk too far out into the store in search of assistance. (As it was I had to leave the dressing room braless.

I did end up with a different wonderful dress (that I am able to remove on my own) for the wedding I'm going to tomorrow. I wasn't feeling the love from my current wardrobe and the only thing decent that wasn't screaming at me, "You'll look fat in this!!!" was something I've worn to two or three other weddings already in the last 6 months. Not that there will be anyone there that would have seen me at any of the other events but still, a girl gets a little weary of the same thing every time. Plus it was on sale. And I had seen it a month or so ago but decided against trying it on. This time I did it and I must say, not only will I be looking fabulous, but I won't have to constantly be sucking in my gut. Empire waist baby. Empire waist.

Some random things

1) I had a dream last night that my annoying step-cousin faked her own death and we all had to sit through her funeral at which she finally popped up and said, "Just kidding, I'm alive!" Her parents, who think she can do no wrong, are major naive (I mean, the girl is 29, living in the same house with her boyfriend all the way across the country and she has her parents believing they sleep in separate rooms. Maybe they do for whatever reason but they sure as hell share the same bed sometimes. I'm fairly certain her parents still think she's a virgin. I have news for them - I'm pretty sure that horse was out of the barn before she left high school.) Anyway, in the dream they were simply ecstatic (rightly so) but didn't see anything wrong with the fact that she had strung them and us along for days thinking she was dead. I was pissed. I even woke up angrily indignant at 5:30am because of it. Grrr...

2) I think I have walking pneumonia - or at least the symptoms. I had a cold about a month ago and I haven't quite yet stopped coughing. I looked it up and it's possible the symptoms are my lungs trying to heal themselves. I think I'll call my doctor.

3) Does anyone out there know how to "save a picture to their server" when it comes to Blogger? I had to steal someone else's source code in order to post Yoda over there.

4) Happy day 3 of NaBloPoMo. Welcome folks!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Shaving testicles. Now THAT would be a challenge.

Um.

This was an ad on MySpace. It's one of those animated ones you play until they lead you to another site and you sign your life away for a free ring tone. The premise of this particular game is pretty obvious. And stupid. And really obnoxious. The more I look at it the more it annoys me.


It makes no sense. Unless the purpose is to offend.

I mean, I personally would love to have little midget mad scientists around to shave my legs in some deranged competition but since such a thing doesn't actually exist, why create such a scenario as an ad campaign? And what the hell ring tone does one get as a result? I wasn't brave enough to try to go further into the depth of this particular activity in order to find out.

Blech.

Helpin' a brotha' out - NaBloPoMo Participants

One of the fun things about participating in National Blog Posting Month is knowing that there are hundreds of other people also out there being good bloggers and posting daily (or at least trying to). In fact, you can see a list of participants here - just scroll down to the bottom.

I think one of the things I'd like to do as a NaBloPoMo participant is help out other NaBloPoMo participants get the word out that they exist. And so I am introducing a new periodic feature:


Sassy Pant's
Discover a New Blog

How will I choose them? For one, if anyone with a blog not currently listed in my blog roll posts a comment, they automatically get a plug. If they took the time to log in and say something (nice, or at least not offensive), it's only fair that I return the favor by visiting their site and taking a look around. Another way I will be choosing sites is by name. I'm going to scan the list of participants above and if the name is witty or intriguing, there I shall go.

So here is the first installment of:


Sassy Pant's
Discover a New Blog
In the commentor category, please welcome Pagalina over at Zoomaru. She's got a kick ass template that's for sure. And a lively mix of topics from Barbarella to an English to Pirate Translator (Arrrggghhh!) to little bits about her life.
And in the names that make me giggle, here's crap-o-rama. Love the little Vampire Too cute!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Guest Bloggers

Inspired by my post on NaBloPoMo, my friend N had a great idea - during my vacation absence why don't I have guest bloggers? I think that's a wonderful idea! Dangerous, but wonderful.

If you would like to be a guest blogger on Big Girl Underoos anytime from November 10th to the 19th email me at sassyserendipity76 at yahoo dot com. Or at my other email addresses if you know who I am.

I won't schedule days for people to post. If you feel like ranting that day, rant on. Heck, you could post everyday if you have a lot to say. It will be an interesting homecoming for me to see how the blog has been taken over.

It doesn't matter if you have your own blog or not. Plug your own. Or get a sense of what it's like to have one. Lurkers come out into the light!

NaBloPoMo

Welcome to National Blog Posting Month. A completely arbitrary and made up celebratory month where you have to do stuff - specifically post a blog entry every day. Like I told my X regarding Valentine's Day, "Just because it's made up doesn't mean I won't kick the shit out of you if you don't participate." I may be paraphrasing the actual conversation but you get the jist. Sadly, he did not. But I digress...

So I have signed up to be part of this. Basically, I need to post every day. What I forgot was that I was going to be on vacation with my family (who are in the dark about this blog) and I will not have access to the internet for that week. So what I'm going to do is double up at least 7 times this month so I get the 30 entries in.

Your job, if you would like to participate in NaBloPoMo and you do not have a blog, is to comment. It can be here at Big Girl Underoos or you can spread the love at some other sites. Look to the right to see a few blogs worthy of your thoughts. Note: There are a couple that are defunct or inactive that I need to remove, and a few I need to add. But at the moment, cleaning up my newly moved into apartment is taking precedence over Blog roll clean-up. I know, I know, my priorities are totally FUBAR but whatever.

So, happy NaBloPoMo everyone. Stay tuned for lots and lots of entries full of assinine and useless information.

I know, it's like Christmas everyday!

Cream cheese is the new platinum

"That'll be $1.89"

Sassy Pants hands over the money and waits for her bagel.

Sassy Pants thinks for a second and says, in her head of course because if she did this out loud people would think she was crazy, "Wait a second. That's a lot for a bagel with cream cheese!"

Sassy Pants scans the unreadable chalkboard menu trying to find prices. Finds "Bagels - 62 cents" and thinks, "Oh, they must have accidentally charged me for the breakfast sandwich at $1.75."

But no, continuing to scan the menu that is full of beautiful artistry with multicolored chalk but absolutely chaos when it comes to actually knowing what can be ordered and at what price, Sassy Pants discovers that a bagel with cream cheese is $1.75.

How the heck much cream cheese must they be putting on a bagel to warrant a $1.13 price difference between a bagel with and without cream cheese? Even with a labor charge that's insane. I'd estimate it takes about 30 seconds to slice, toast and smear a bagel (not including toasting time while they can be helping other customers). Even mechanics don't charge $1/half minute.

Serves me right for not having any groceries in the house.