Thursday, November 29, 2007

Naked time!

Bet you don't work somewhere where you constantly run into your clients/coworkers while one or the other of you are in the nude. Am I right?

That is definitely one of the biggest differences between being an office prisoner and a personal trainer.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

When it rains it pours

Thanks for all the positive thoughts for my grandfather. He is back home and doing well. Which means he's probably out in his workshop sawing stuff. The man's a machine.

In other news, I have clients coming out the wazoo. The way it works at my gym is that when you join you go through an assessment process (weight, fat %, flexibility, aerobic capacity etc.) and they give the personal training schpeel there. That way I don't have to be the sales person. When someone has signed up for training or a one time demo with you the assessors put a red piece of paper in your mailbox with their information and you have to contact them within 48 hours. I swear to god that today every time I turned around there was another red sheet in my box. I can't even keep up. I got at least 4 or 5 today, which is a lot. There are generally only about 3 or 4 assessments in any given day as far as I can tell. I had about an hour or so free in the morning so I made some calls. When I called one guy who had signed up for 2 sessions just this morning he asked to train today so I fit him in at 5:15. Talk about turn around. I have another demo scheduled tomorrow and 3 more people to call. I think I'm getting the hang of this.

It's an embarrassment of riches really.

Monday, November 26, 2007


Papa is doing well. He perked right after he got a few rounds of antibiotics. He will live to see another day. Phew.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Hospitalized for the Holidays

My family does do well on holidays and special occasions. It's not that we get mad at each other and storm off in a huff or end up in tears. We just tend to get sick. Really sick. Or dead.

When I was 5 I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia on Christmas Day. I stayed two days which, to a 5 year old, is an eternity, especially when there are new toys to be played with. My grandfather (my mother's father) died of a heart attack (or stroke, I'm never sure which) on December 24th when I was about 3. My mother's brother was struck and killed by a drunk driver a week before I was born which also happens to be a week before my mother's birthday. And this Thanksgiving, my grandfather, Papa, (my stepmother's father) ended up in intensive care with a severe case of pneumonia. He's going to be in the hospital for at least 4 days.

Papa is 80+. He's one of those guys from Maine who say "Ayuh" and "You can't get theyah from heyah." He is a strong man. He got his first cavity at 70. He lost his first finger at 75 or so. That sounds strange until you find out he's been a butcher, a carpenter, and he's run his own sawmill for the last 40 some-odd years. The saw is jury rigged and run by a VW bug engine, still in the body of the car. He's been lifting logs, building houses, and going like the energizer bunny for as long as I've known him. Unfortunately, over the last year his health has been fading. He had some heart trouble and was hospitalized for a month. I think being forced to slow down has made his body realize just how old he is. Before he was waylaid by his illness this summer, he didn't really allow himself to be his age.

I'd like to think he's a fighter. Everything in his past says that he is. I'm concerned that he's going to fall and fall hard. Like a relatively healthy and independent person who falls and breaks their hip. Something about losing the independence (not to mention the infections in the hospital) causes them to go into a rapid decline. I'm now very glad I made sure to go visit him a couple weekends ago. I wanted to make sure Friendster Guy had a chance to meet him. They have a similar calmness to them. So on this Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I went only slightly out of my way to see Papa. I should do it more often. Here's hoping we'll have many more holidays in the future.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thank you Universe!

Holy crap!

I just weighed myself this morning and according to the scale that usually flashes such evil (or at least unfriendly) numbers at me, I weigh 128.8 pounds! For those of you who remember Sassy's Seven Week Challenge, in May I weighed 137 pounds and was challenging myself to lose 7 pounds. By the end of the 7 weeks, I weighed about 135 pounds. My goal did not come to fruition. But now. Now! I've been losing weight without even really trying (sort of).

In a comment a few posts back anonymous asks, "How is it to no longer be an office prisoner and instead, a gym rat for hire?" Oh lordy it's wonderful! Even the 6am clients are worth it. I'm in constant motion - demonstrating lunges, doing push-ups with people, and teaching a class. If I have a big break between clients I can simply change my shirt and work out. What's funny is that I have probably had less "workouts" in the last two weeks than I had before. But when I do, I'm working harder. You never know when a client, or perspective client, might be watching.

I'm not sure the numbers will stay that low by the end of this weekend though. I have 4 Thanksgiving meals that commence in about 4 hours and don't stop until Saturday. At least I know I can get below 130 if I try. Wow. I haven't been this light since high school.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

My life is so exciting

Right now, I'm waiting for the cable guy. Whoo!

Why does "a person in the household 18 and over" have to be present for this installation? Don't they just have to play with some wires? Can't I leave the back door unlocked and let them do their thing? Why is every other business that provides services able to pinpoint a more specific time frame for scheduling delivery and such? Why do I have to sit in my home for 4 hours waiting for some installer to show up? And then pay for the privilege of that wait?

Luckily, I happened to have a large window of time open because I only had clients at 6am (ugh!), 8:30am, and another at 4:00pm today. I just know that my Comcast dictated window from 12-4pm is going to mean they show up no earlier than 3:45. If that's the case I don't quite know what to do. Friendster Guy doesn't get out of work until 5 and I have to leave the house by 3:45 to make it to my next client. They've got about an hour and 15 minutes before I start to freak out.

I can't even take a nap, which I desperately want to do. By 9:30 I'd already had two clients and worked out for an hour myself. 6:00am is freakin' early.

Keep your fingers crossed that Mr. Comcast get here on time. I'm not holding my breath. To add another layer of difficulty it snowed this morning. I'm sure that adds a whole 'nuther layer of slowness to whatever they might be doing before they make it to my place. Sigh.

Will wonders nver cease.

Guess what? I actually know what I'm talking about!

I trained an occupational therapist (ok, an OT student) today and I was able to say things like, "As you know, a lot of workplace injuries result from twisting and lifting at the same time. This exercise helps condition the body to be able to do that type of motion."

Don't I sound like I almost know stuff? Like an actual professional personal trainer?

Fake it 'til you make it, baby! Fake it 'til you make it!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Oh the autonomy!

I've been such a pathetic blogger these past few weeks. Not only have I moved, but I've started a job where I don't necessarily need to go on the computer. I didn't realize how helpful going to an office job was toward my blogging consistency.

What I used to do was go to work, turn on my computer, and do a blog post. It allowed me to ease into my day and warm up my brain and my fingers for a long day of typing and thinking. Now that I don't start the day specifically on the computer I don't quite know when to blog. And those random thoughts I'd have all day long while day dreaming in my office were easier to blog when I was already sitting at a keyboard and could just start typing. It's not as easy to remember to blog a random thought you had 4 hours earlier.

Except for the blogular neglect going on, I'm really enjoying my new life. I got two new clients last week - one completely on my own, i.e. the gym didn't direct them to me. I still can't believe this is my life. Tomorrow, I don't have a client until 2pm so I can sleep late on a Monday! And since Friendster Guy isn't on shift that day (his schedule rotates), we can hang out all morning. It's so relaxing. I'm sure my schedule will be more full eventually, and I could see how the randomness of it might be a pain sometimes, but for now it kicks ass. The best thing is that I control it. If I want it to be less random I can just only schedule things at certain times. Granted that may mean I have to turn down a client, but so be it. I can make that decision for myself. It's all up to me. Me, me, me! And that, my friends, is awesome.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

It's official part deux...

Friendster Guy and I are living in sin.

Rock on!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Total cop out post

So far NaBloPoMo has started off with a pretty pathetic showing from me. I'd love to say it's going to get better but if this stupid post means anything, it's only going to get worse. My Mom sent me this via email the other day. It made me laugh. And there's nothing quite like getting an email with the phrase "finally got laid" from your mother.

So yup, I'm posting an email forward. You wanna make something of it?

And I'm too lazy to play with the html and fix the font color issues. That's right. I'm a total blogging cop out. Sigh....

Anyway, here goes nothing. Literally.

"Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1 When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask ?, "Because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me...I don't want to hear it!!!) And remember....when life hands you Lemons, get some tequila and salt and call me."

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Reality Sets In

Things are settling down here in the new condo. Or at least all of our stuff is within the perimeter. It's a start.

We had a moment last night - or rather Friendster Guy had a moment last night - where the enormity of the whole thing kind of hit him. Not the unpacking and painting and all that, but more the "another person lives with me!" part of the whole thing.

I can understand it. He's never lived with anyone - except his parents way back in the day, but even then he was an only child. I tried not to take it personally, but when you realize the person you've just moved in with looks as if they want to scream, "STOP TOUCHING MY STUFF AND GO AWAY!," it doesn't make one feel too happy and sure of themselves.

But we'll get through it.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Small miracles

Oh the joys of "borrowed" wireless internet access.

I don't have to wait until we get cable before I can connect with the outside world.

Thank goodness.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Unexpected headache

Stupid Verizon.

I canceled my Verizon DSL and they in turn canceled my email address. Without telling me. So anyone who has sent me any email today has gotten an error message.

I didn't need the headache of having to change my email address in addition to my street address. This is how friends lose touch with each other.


So if you know me and you haven't gotten my new email address email announcement, leave a comment and I'll send it to you.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Oh well

Well, my participation in NaBloPoMo is shot to hell. Moving is not conducive to daily blogging.

In other news, we are almost all the way into the new place. I have logged at least 200 flights of stairs over the last 3 days. It's a gosh darn good thing I've been working out.

Needless to say, we are very tired.

As soon as Friendster Guy finds the Comcast info in his piles we'll be jumping on the cable internet bandwagon. Right now, I'm using his stolen wireless in his old apartment.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Now wait just a cotton pickin' minute

I know I have all my days confused because of the move and such but I also know (now that I've spent some good bathroom thinking time on it) that I posted that JCPenney post on Wednesday. I started the draft on Tuesday. Stupid Blogger left the draft date on it instead of the post date. Grrr...!

Oh well. I wasn't gunning for prizes anyway.

Today is move day. As soon as I finish my breakfast I'm going over to the new place to put a last coat of paint on the living room before the furniture comes this afternoon. And by "before the furniture comes" I mean before we go pick up a truck and a few wonderful friends help us lug heavy objects out of and into our various domiciles. Luckily, this time, Friendster Guy can rely on his manly friends instead of me asking my friends who have already sacrificed their spines on way too many occasions to ask again. For me, this is move number 3 since 2005 and I haven't made that many new friends I could bug. That's just asking a little too much.

Ok, off to paint!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Dag nab it! It appears that I accidentally posted my Wednesday post on Tuesday so I guess I'm sort of out of the running for NABLOPOMO. But I'll keep going. If I can. I'm tired of painting and moving and all that. Soon, soon things will be back to normal.

I hope.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

So help me god, I will never work retail again!

Painting takes a hell of a lot longer than I remember. I have a full morning of living room painting to do before we fill it up with furniture friday. It's big room. Sigh...

Since I am incoherent with tiredness, here's a blog post from someone else that is absolutely hilarious - 15 Minute Lunch's commentary on a 1977 JCPenney catalogue.

My first job at 16 was at a JCPenney's in the watch repair department tucked away by the catalog area. I can change watch batteries and resize bands like you read about. I almost went into a comma on most days though. It was hours of boredom punctuated by being harassed by either the security guys, the guys from the stockroom, the optometrist who was old enough to be my father and told me dirty jokes, or the customers. My very first day these two guys asked me if I'd like to sit down (I was standing guarding a pile of cheap watches and also near the chairs in the optometrist area.) When I said "no thanks", they said, "That's too bad because you could have sat here", and they proceeded to put their hands together and wiggle their fingers.


Horse before the cart?

Long time readers will remember how, in February, my X's girlfriend paid $9,000 to have his vasectomy reversed and how if they had been married it would have been free on her insurance. In case you're just joining me here at Big Girl Underoos, they got pregnant pretty much the first time they took the newly reconnected genitalia out for a spin, so to speak. They are due to have their baby any time now.

Yesterday, I hear through the grapevine that they just got married. Very little details are known but it was small and private and it doesn't appear that anyone was invited.

Call me crazy, but if I was committed enough to a man to want his child AND I could have saved myself $9,000 by getting married way back in March, I would have. I swear to god that man was taken over by pod people. Thank god he's not mine anymore. Phew.

Monday, November 05, 2007

It's official...

...I am doing all my holiday shopping on-line.

Why? For one, it's easy, it's efficient, and I don't have to interact with anyone to do it. For another, and this is a biggie, I was in Walmart yesterday and they were already playing Christmas music. I wasn't paying attention and then all of a sudden it hit me. It hit me so hard I stopped my cart in the middle of the aisle and said, "Are you kidding me?" Luckily, Friendster Guy was with me so I didn't look like as much of a crazy person as I could have but still.

Dear purveyors of goods, thanks to you this is not the hap, happiest time of the year because you started with the jingle bells before I had time to finishing gorging myself on stale candy. I am not decking my freakin' halls until at least after I have had me some cranberry sauce and stuffing (or dressing if you are from another part of the country than I am. Aside, where does the stuffing versus dressing line start? Does it follow the Mason/Dixon?)

I'm going to parumpapumpum myself in front of the computer and pay shipping if necessary to avoid getting holiday earworms. So help me God. Amen.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Pathetic NaBloPoMo entry #1

I have a feeling there will be some pretty pathetic blog entries during the month of November simply to maintain the daily posting. Not being a procrastinator, I figure I should start now. There's no time like the present for sub par, uninteresting commentary on my daily life.

I'm heading off to Home Depot/Walmart momentarily to purchase sundries for the move into the new condo. Instead of going to my office prisoner job (yeah!), I start painting tomorrow. So far I'm looking forward to it. Talk to me again in three days when I'm on room #4.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Eerie coincidence, or destiny?

Oh! Mah! God!

Yesterday I went to the NaBloPoMo page and clicked on the member list. This list shows a random assortment of 20 people participating in NaBloPoMo and one picture catches my eye. I think, hmm...that person looks familiar. Like a guy I knew in high school 13 years ago. Curious, but doubtful, I go to his blog, look around to see if he's left any bloggy clues to his identity, and lo and behold! He is a long lost friend of mine!

Of all the blog joints in all the world, what are the chances?

Thank you NaBloPoMo for reconnecting me with a long lost friend!

Joy! Rapture!

It's my last day as an office prisoner! Woo hoo!

You know what I'm going to miss? The people (at least when I'm not interacting with them professionally), the steady paycheck, and the laptop. Oh the laptop. At least going forward I'll only have one job and only one place of residence so I won't need a laptop quite as much. It's hard work juggling your stuff between 4 locations - work 1, work 2, apartment 1, apartment 2. I'm amazed my car hasn't become more of a dumping ground than it is.

What I'm not going to miss is the bureacracy, red tape, and the quickness with which everything becomes a crisis. I mean really, on the serious problem spectrum between "I got a papercut" and "death of a loved one", why does everything have to fall closest to the death end? It's hard to not be swept up in the tide of panic, even when that panic is induced by something as small as, say, a typo. It becomes a TYPO OF EPIC PROPORTIONS (say that with a deep booming echoey voice- it's more fun that way) but only because we've made it so. Ease up on the living life in CAPS people. It's not healthy.

Anyway, I must be getting back to cleaning out files and email and such. Wouldn't want to leave anything incriminating.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Happy NaBloPoMo!

Welcome to NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month.

All a blogger has to do is post once a day for the month of November. I tried it last year but a week long trip to Disney World kinda put a cramp in my activities.

This year I think it's going to be equally hard - not because I'll have trouble finding things to say, but because I am 1) leaving the job during which I did most of my posting (shhh...keep that on the DL) and 2) I'm moving over the next week which means: who knows when I will a) have a computer plugged in at any given time b) have internet access turned on and c) have the time to get to use either. I'll give it a whirl though.

Last year was the first year of NaBloPoMo and, as things on the internet tend to do, it has grown exponentially since then. NaBloPomo has it's own social website now. I even have Blogger friends! Who knew? These are people who I have "met" via blogging, or at least by visiting their blogs (many because of NaBloPoMo last year) and commenting now and then. See that NaBloPoMo widget in my side bar? Click on that and you can see my profile and my friends. Hi Blogger friends! I feel so loved.

Good luck to all participants and to me. I'll need it.