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Showing posts from March, 2006

You'd think somewhere he would have learned to spell

Here's another unsolicted email I just got through Friendster. It's amazing I found someone as good as Friendster Guy on there. It gives one hope. This kind of takes it away again. "Friday, March 31, 2006 7:36:00 PM Subject: hello dear Message: Hi Dear,How are you doing, your health, business,personal life and everyother thing around you? Hope great. I must tell youthat i'm so much happy reading from you. Well it'smy first day onthis site, and through my search i just didn't fine aperfect womanjust for me but you. That's why i showed interest.You know i thoughtthis could be away of meeting new people may bethat special personas well.According to your profile, I love every thing aboutyou, and willlike to have something with you. I'm XXXXX By name, i'mAn Free Land International journalist by profession.I'm fromNEW YORK USA. I lost my folks 11years agoand before then i've been inthe journalism business. I school at VirginiaWesleyan College (VA)

Conundrum: Feminist or Seductress?

What's a feminist to do when on the one hand she is annoyed with the patriarchal society that glorifies fake boobs and violence against women and on the other hand is fascinated by the idea of working at Hooters ? Am I buying into the masculine ideas about what a woman should be - sexy, subservient, an object of desire, or am I wanting to be a woman - sexy, powerful, an object of desire? It's a chicken and an egg problem. Which came first? Men's need for women to be a certain way in order to be attractive, or women's need to be a certain way in order to be happy with herself? What if in order to be happy with yourself you have to buy into feminine norms? What if you honest to goodness like feminine norms? Should you be chastized by the feminist movement for falling for what society calls for or should you be celebrated for doing what you like, even if that means high heels, lipstick and little orange shorts? What's a modern day women to do if all she wants is to be

Sassitude

This is my niece. She is fabulous. If you're having a bad day, just think about this little diva and you'll feel better. My sister is so going to kill me for posting a picture of her child on the internet. But she's kind of incognito in her diva/ Fancy Nancy outfit so I think it's ok. But how could I not post this? Look at that pose, the shoes, the bag, the boa, the jewelry, the fake tattoo, the tiara, the sassitude! That's my little niece all right. If only we could all exude this much self confidence. Believe me, this child has this attitude 24/7. Her parents are in for a rough time when she hits her teens, that's for sure.

I need a hit

It's only day two of my "challenge" not to spend the $116* I have in my checking account. So far so good. I have managed not to spend a single dime despite having several cravings for iced mochas. It's that time of the month and it's suddenly springtime. Resisting an iced mocha is darn near impossible. I tried to get Friendster Guy to join me for an afternoon walk to get one since he is off today but he had to get a haircut. Then I went into a mini-funk because I want to see him but can't until Saturday unless he decides to come have lunch with me tomorrow (not so subtle hint to Friendster Guy! I don't know how often he's reading but just in case...) So between DMS**, springtime and a mini-funk I'd say I should be slated for sainthood, or at least knighthood, for not purchasing the iced mocha I so desperately desire. Oh, and just so you know, this isn't about caffeine. I always get decaf. * The number went up from $110 because I actually went i

Reality TV that gives people an actual dose of reality

You know what I think would make a good reality show? Having really rich people have to live at the poverty level and see how well they do. It would be eye opening to say the least. And I think the rich people should be chosen from fields where they can make a difference with what they learned, for example politicians. Throw a couple Senators in the ghetto and see what happens.

Happiness is ...

I could have been teaching a course at Harvard. Here are Six Tips for Happiness from a Harvard professor teaching a course on Positive Psychology. (Thanks Emily Troutman for the link.) Six Tips for Happiness Advice from Tal Ben-Shahar. 1. Give yourself permission to be human. When we accept emotions -- such as fear, sadness, or anxiety -- as natural, we are more likely to overcome them. Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness. 2. Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable. When this is not feasible, make sure you have happiness boosters, moments throughout the week that provide you with both pleasure and meaning. 3. Keep in mind that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. Barring extreme circumstances, our level of well being is determined b

K.I.S.S.

Keep It Simple Sassy! In case you haven't noticed, I've been simplifying my life. I've been getting rid of possessions left and right, I'm spending less, eating everything that's been sitting in the pantry, and just got rid of cable. I'm also letting my subscription to Time lapse. I am now down to one magazine, Real Simple , and I only have 3 issues of that left before I let that lapse too. I don't like looking around my house and seeing something that reminds me of all the things I have to do. Magazines I'm supposed to find time to read, items to clean, food to feel guilty about because it is not being eaten, tasks that need to be done. I'm at my most stressed when I glance around my apartment and see everything I'm supposed to be doing but am not. Taking away my TV will be good for that. Instead of spending an inordinate amount of time being "entertained" I can do the things I need to do. Or read. Or watch a video I specifically chos

Kill Your TV

I did it. I called my cable company and canceled my subscription. I sat looking at my bill for a couple of minutes before I made the call wondering whether I should or not. In a way it's like cutting myself off from the world - except the world I was experiencing was reality TV and sitcoms. I think I'll spend a little more time in my own reality. I'll have to find new ways to get my news - NPR, the newspaper - but I'm sure I'll be ok. Anyway, it's better not to hear all the negative anyway. I almost balked again when I finally got to a human customer service rep. My conversation with "Wendy" went as follows. Me: I'd like to turn off my cable. Wendy: (Surprised) Are you sure? What about the News? You want the local News don't you? Me: No, that's OK. Wendy: But why? Are you switching providers? Me: No. I just don't need it anymore. Wendy: It's only $17 a month. (Wendy sounded like she was panicking at this point) Would it help if I

Closure

I got married in a science building. It was where we met and spent most of our time. Believe me, it was much nicer than you are picturing. It had a 3 story atrium with a skylight and nice balconies and such. Anyway, it certainly wasn't a church. My X lived with my ex-grandmother-in-law for many years growing up and, despite being a very big figure in my X's life, she did not go to our wedding. I was cleaning out my drawers and found a note from her from before the wedding explaining why. I find it very sad. I have no problem with people having faith and convictions but whatever happened to compassion? She wrote: "I cannot be a witness at your wedding. It is hard for me to believe that you have turned your back on your Catholic Faith. Truly you have broken my heart. 'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his own soul.' What a sad road you have chosen - never to be able to receive Holy Communion again. 'Unless you eat My flesh a

A Challenge...of sorts

According to my calculations, I have approximately $110 in my checking account (not including what I need to set aside for rent on the 1st) to last me until April 7th when I am paid again. Luckily, all my beginning of the month bills have been paid already. Also luckily, I have money in savings so I'm not really destitute but I'd prefer not to tap into that pool. Once you do it's easier to do it again. The same thing goes for credit cards. When I first started writing this post it was going to be about how challenging it was going to be to live on $110 for a week and a half. Now I'm wondering how I thought that could be a challenge. I mean really. It sounds almost absurd that I can't go 10 days without spending $110. What am I doing in the next 10 days that requires that much money? Let's see. From Wednesday to Saturday there is nothing I need to spend any money on. I have no dinner plans and no travel plans. Sunday I will be going out to eat with some girlfrien

Domestic Bliss

Whatever happened to domestic issues? I'm not talking household chores here people, I'm talking about political issues dealing with what is going on here in the United States. All we ever hear about anymore is Iraq and immigration. And maybe a murder or two. What about the people here who live in poverty with no utilities and are surrounded by violence on a daily basis? What about our education system? What the heck is going on here that we aren't addressing with billions of dollars in aid? In 2001 we had so much promise and the goodwill of the world. And we (I use the term we VERY loosely) went out and screwed it up by invading some country that had nothing to do with the problems we were actually facing. Our borders are fake. They are lines on a map that don't show up if you're walking or driving over them. We're all human. We're all afraid. We all want the best for our families. Am I better off than I was 4 years ago? Honestly, I am. Is the world? No wa

I'm on a roll today

How can I not be, I've got so much fodder. Over at Overheard in New York they have posted the following conversation that was heard in Police Plaza, New York, NY. Cop #1: When I'm fucking a cunt, I like to hurt it. You like to hurt a cunt when you're fucking it? Cop #2: Yeah. What do I give a fuck? It ain't my cunt. And this is what the fuck the ladies are all talking about. How in the world can women expect to get help from the cops if these are the cops they are going to? I'm not busting on cops in general because my brother-in-law is one and is not an asshole like these two. But yeah, I'd feel really comfortable having these guys take my statement after I've been assaulted or raped. ***Sassy Pants throws up hands in disgust***

Kill your TV

I didn't notice how it happened exactly but I've pretty much cut out TV. I watch about 10 minutes of the news while I'm eating breakfast and maybe I'll throw on That 70's Show while eating dinner but other than that, nothing is on so I don't watch it. This wasn't always my philosophy. I'd have it on just for noise. Now I'm starting to listen to NPR. (I am not turning into my mother, I'm turning into my father.) It helps that I cut back to basic basic cable so I only have about 20 channels to choose from in the first place and 10 of those are crap (QVC is not my cup of tea). If I could pick just 10 channels a la carte I'd most likely watch a lot more. I'd get the 3 networks (NBC, ABC, CBS), Bravo, HGTV, Discovery, TLC, PBS and some other channels I don't know about yet. I have been renting TV shows from Netflix. I'm in the first season of Northern Exposure. I loved that show. I totally wanted to be Maggie. I'm so disappointed

Lacrosse players beat and rape stripper

This case has all the makings of a movie of the week - a top ranked sports team, strippers, racial epithets, and an almost fatal gang rape. On some horrifying level I am relieved that the victim was beaten and almost strangled because, the thing is, the prosecutors will have more luck with that part of the situation than with the rape itself. Because, as the defense will point out, the victim is a stripper. "You know what that means..." wink wink nudge nudge to the jury. I was having a conversation with Friendster Guy just the other night and I mentioned some statistics about women being abused, raped and assaulted. He mentioned that a large portion of the people in his line of work are also assaulted in some way. It's true, and I'm not about to start comparing miseries or say this horrific experience is worse then that horrific experience, but the thing is that someone going into that line of work knows this is the case and has the law very much on their side. You a

Sassy Pant's Seven

Update on my goals: Diet: I'm trying a new breakfast today to see how full I'll stay until lunch thereby stopping me from prowling the office for snacks. There are Girl Scout Cookies on every corner thwarting my attempts at being "good." So this morning I had oatmeal and a hard boiled egg. We'll see how it goes. Discardia: I bought a new desk at Staples. Currently my desk is a board across two cheapo Walmart filing cabinets, one drawer of which has lost it's face so it can't hold files. Supposedly it is being delivered Tuesday. I then get to put it together. Whoo hoo. But I'm taking this opportunity to clean out my files. I started yesterday and made some progress. I definitely have a lot of stuff I don't need anymore. Thesis: I managed to finish transcribing two interviews this weekend. Only four more to go. Unfortunately they are long. And then I probably have to record another 3 or 4 before I'm done that part. The next step is taking all

Extra Credit

I'm a firm believer that everyone should know where there money goes and what their credit is, especially the single ladies. Sure, a rich, gainfully employed man may come along and sweep you off your feet someday but eventually you'll realize he's an idiot and not want to spend time with him and discover you've gotten used to the life of luxury and are so screwed. Do not stay with a man because he makes you feel financially secure. That's stupid. Figure out how to make yourself financially secure. Here's a few pieces of advice from Sassy Pants Inc. FYI, Sassy Pants Inc. is not in anyway a professional financial advisor. Or, for that matter, an actual "Inc." This is just me, Sassy Pants, telling you what I've done and how it worked for me. Go out there and be proactive. Get your free Annual Credit Report . This brings you to a clearinghouse of sorts. You will have to type in about as much information as you would if you were ordering something on-li

Coincidence? or Karma?

Friendster Guy: "So, you want to go to Nova Scotia." Me: "Yes. You must have been reading my blog." FG: "No, a guy at work was mentioning it and says it's nice." Me: "So. Wait. You weren't stating that I want to go to Nova Scotia? You were actually asking me to go to Nova Scotia with you?" FG: "Yes." Me: "Without knowing that I already wanted to go there?" FG: "Yes" Me: "Then yes!" FG: "So it's settled. We're going to Nova Scotia." It's settled. We're going to Nova Scotia.

Making Eye Babies

Colleges often have a lot of rules the students need to follow. After all, a bunch of 18-21 year olds can't really be expected to self-govern on their own, at least not 24/7, no matter how vehement they are that they can do just that. (I was 18-21 once myself so I know it's annoying to hear that. I don't mean all 18-21 year olds individually, I mean when they all get together in one place.) Then there are Christian Colleges which have more rules, often based on biblical teachings and moral dictates. Further down the spectrum is Bob Jones University* which considers the Christian colleges just too darn liberal so they piles on a bunch of morally based codes of behavior. Not to be outdone by the crazy liberal heathens at Bob Jones, Pensacola Christian College goes hog wild with the rules and moral imperatives and makes the Taliban look almost liberal. An article in the March 24th edition of the Chronicle of Higher Education explains some of the rules and regulations the stu

Goal juggling

My goals of Diet and Work are plotting against each other. I am bribing myself to get work done by promising that I can walk up to the little grocery store cafe and get myself a mocha latte if I finish a couple of projects. Right now, Work seem to be the harder of my goals to deal with so whatever works.

Parade of junk

I had uploaded some of my pics of the things I discarded to Flickr but then I reached my monthly "upload limit" and would have had to pay to upload more. I already use Snapfish to store my photos for free so I don't need to be paying to store more in another place. So yes, my cheapness has hampered your viewing of my crap. Here are a few choice photos to stop you from rioting. Easter decor and Christmas decor given to me, a book on exercise from the 70s/early 80s, and my humungous jacket that was warm as heck but was like wearing half a sleeping bag. If you are looking around your place thinking about getting rid of stuff, do it! Think WWSPD? (What would Sassy Pants do?) I'll tell you what she'd do. She'd take that crocheted tea cozy and bring it post-haste to the Goodwill, Salvation Army, or thrift store of your choice. Here are a couple of links for you Upper Valley Locals. Stuff in general - The Greater Upper Valley Solid Waste Management District . You can

Things that make you go hmmm....

1) I really like it when someone is able to make me see a different side of an issue, especially a side I hadn't even realized was there. For instance, I'm not exactly a big fan of Paris Hilton, but this post made me think. When I take part in bashing another female - even a vacuous, useless, please stop wasting my oxygen - female, what kind of message is that sending? Sure, I don't want my niece to grow up to be Paris but I also don't want her growing up thinking that if she does the exact same thing that a male "celebrity" does she'll be called a slut and villified by the masses. To be a truly good feminist, I have to practice what I preach and not make the misogynists' arguement for them. 2) I am now an age that I can remember my mother being. I was 6 when she was my age so I've got some memories. I can't imagine having her life. She had two kids at that point, 4 and 6. N and I had a conversation over dinner tonight about what we'd do if

Blog Update

I've added a bunch of blogs to my blog roll. Most have some sort of feminist bent but I also thought it would be interesting to see what bloggers are doing on the other side of the world in the country we are currently sending down the road to FUBAR...er...occupying so there are two blogs from Iraq as well. Speaking of the rest of the world I'd like to say a big howdy doo to Nigeria, Bukina Faso, Sudan, Egypt, South Africa, Columbia, Nicaragua and Hong Kong all of which have recently popped up on my little mappy thing. As for my 7 goals (see right), I keep plugging away. On the Clutter/Discardia front I took out a ton of crappy little useless (and might I say ugly) Christmas and Easter decorations from where they were stored and they will be on the next truckload to the thrift store. I also managed to bring a load of books and VHS tapes (The Star Wars Trilogy, Willow, Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally) to the drop off spot for the 5 Colleges Book Sale. I had already replaced

Excess(ive) baggage

You know what's funny? Now that I'm trying to get rid of one item every day I'm finding a ton of stuff to get rid of. I'm going to have surplus items that I can use as rain checks on days when I can't find something to get rid of. I might get the entire year done this month. Three hundred and sixty five things. That's a lot of junk, aka really great items that may be happier living at someone else's place. I've been taking pictures of the items. I'll probably start a Flickr account and post them so you can see the oodles of crap I was hoarding. What sort of crap are you holding on to? And don't tell me everything you own is utilized and useful. You probably have more than you want to admit. I do. The next time you're in a book store check out this book called Material World . It's pictures of people from around the world sitting outside of their home with all their possessions surrounding them. It's fascinating how one family can live

Man Archive

Here's the list of guys I went on dates with during my dating frenzy. I include it here for posterity. If you have no idea what I'm talking about please visit my archives from October through about February. It's a good time. 1) CA Dream Boy - Good friends 2) Friendster Guy – My boyfriend (giggle giggle) 3) Buff Gym Guy - 2ish dates, friends, moved to LA 4) K - 1 date, no further contact 5) Glider Guy - 1 date, no further contact 6) High School Guy - Numerous dates and phone conversations. He can't commit and I can't not commit so we've decided to stick to friendship. He's my buddy now. 7) Math Teacher Guy - 3 dates and counting. Sent him an email saying I thought he was great but I found someone else. 8) British Musician - 1/2 "date", no call 9) First Impression Guy - he owes me more than one but I'm not going to take him up on it. Dissing me for pot is SO not cool. 10) You're Beautiful Guy - 1 lunch date, haven’t contacted him since. 11)

Spring resolutions

Now that I've got my relationship status on an even keel, I feel the need to get a few more of the things going on in my life in order. They are: 1) Finances 2) Thesis 3) Vacation 4) Fitness/Physique 5) My stuff/clutter 6) Work 7) Diet Here's the thing, now that I'm on my own, no one else can do this for me. Of course no one could really do most of them for me in the first place but now everything is up to me. And that's surprisingly freeing. Why? Because every success or failure is up to me. I don't have to do anything for anyone else. And I know myself well enough that if I put my mind to something I will accomplish it. And I also know that if I all of a sudden could care less about one of those things I'm not disappointing someone else if I say screw it. [Side note: In a way, I think that's why I don't want kids. I don't want someone else around that I have to think about 24/7. My brain gets too stressed by that thought.] So, what about these 6 th

Don't drink the water

There have been a rash of pregnancies in my office of late. This is probably not surprising given that I work with over 100 women. Another co-worker just dropped in and announced the good news. That makes two currently pregnant and two that just had babies last month. I don't know how to react to pregnancy. It's a bandwagon I can't seem to jump on. I offer my sincere congratulations but at the same time I'm sitting there thinking "What's wrong with you? What could possibly possess you to subject yourself to all that comes with childbearing and rearing?" I have plenty of care giving instincts but I just can't muster being maternal. I like kids well enough. I think they are interesting and amusing in small doses. And kids love me. I'm like a magnet for rugrats. But it's the same thing as when a person with cat allergies is a magnet for cats, even the ones that never come out from under the bed. They sense that you don't want them around and c

Don't be a dumb ass

Someone found this site by Googling "How to get in a girl's pants" so I thought I'd give them a few pointers. 1) Be a human being. 2) Acknowledge that she is a human being 3) Treat her the way you'd want some guy to treat your mom/sister/daughter 4) Stop wanting to get in her pants and start wanting to find out what's in her head. It's pretty simple. P.S. Mom - if you happen to have found this site you better tell me. P.P.S. On the Discardia front, I now have a pile by my door of things I need to bring to a thrift store. It includes a humungous winter coat I can't believe I used to wear, a VCR, a bunch of books (to go to the 5 colleges book sale - donations now accepted at the Lebanon Coop for you Upper Valley locals), VHS tapes, and some random stuff. I threw out an old pair of sneakers. Today I have not yet determined what possession to remove from my life. It may be an article of clothing. Or I may look into selling some Lord of the Rings paraphena

Practicing Discardia

I have a bumper sticker on my car that says "The best things in life aren't things." My friend J pointed out the irony of that sticker to me as he and several other of my friends toiled to move me into my second floor apartment last October. Before I moved I had purged a lot of stuff. Or what I considered a lot of stuff. But I still had way more than necessary. I still have way more than necessary. I have a profile on 43 Things . It's a site where you make a list of 43 things you want to do in your life, from giving up smoking to flying in a hot air balloon to visiting all 50 states. It just so happens that no less than 5 of my 43 Things have something to do with having less stuff or enjoying what I have, not what I don't. I recently came across someone who had "get rid of one possession every day" and I found the idea fascinating. Could I do that? My first thought was no way. I need everything I have. But then I started to think of the things I have fl

Why becoming an ex-pat sounds good sometimes.

Just in case the rest of the states fall to ignorance and stupidity the way South Dakota has, here's a description of how to perform an abortion . The actual post you can probably skim but the comments are fascinating. In case you don't get all the way through the 200 plus comments to mine, I said that I appreciated the inclusion of the removal of the fetal body parts in the description. It's good to hear about that from a pro-choice source rather than from the grim reaper pacing back and forth in front of Planned Parenthood (When I lived in Texas I literally had to drive by him everyday. Yeeha!) Knowing that a somewhat formed pre-human (what does one call the fetus if one does not consider it fully human but also wants to be respectful. So much gray people. So much gray.) is being destroyed is why I am pro-CHOICE, not pro-abortion. If there were some way to stop pregnancy before it started (don't get me started on the morning after pill controversy or RU-486) and we di

I'm green but it ain't from the luck of the Irish

I'm an atheist. Biting Beaver reminds me why . Also, I'm sick. Still. Or again. I woke up at 3am with my innards fighting an epic battle for intestinal domination. Nothing was leaving my body but the alien inside sure as hell was trying to. Then, when I finally got up at 6 I had no hot water - a consistent problem my landlord is trying to fix. I had to go to the gym for a hot shower because the idea of just doing a tepid head rinse was really unappealing. Now I am polishing off the liter of ginger ale I bought this morning and hoping that the toast and rolls I have allowed myself to eat for lunch will not counteract my efforts to purge my system of this scourge. Luckily, the purging process isn't too out of control and is going in the direction things are supposed to. If you get my meaning. In other, more positive news, Friendster Guy and I had a great date last night. While waiting for our table to be ready we wandered around a building that has 40 artist studios. The hall

Electronic exhibitionism

Blogging is an interesting hobby. At least I consider it a hobby, a hobby mixed with therapy. I have several friends who have blogs. Their blogs are fascinating not just for their content, but for their look into how a person's brain works. I took a class last spring in Oral History. The professors drilled into our heads the following: Medium, Message, and Massage. The Medium for all blogs is a website with entries, simple enough. The Message varies dramatically and is what makes reading them so interesting. One look at the blog roll I have at the right will show you just how varied the Message found in the blogosphere can be. What I find currently interesting is the Massage. In Oral History Massage is how you change and mold what is recorded by your tape recorder into something that makes sense in the written word. It isn't as easy as it sounds. You aren't changing what is said necessarily, but HOW it is said. Reading the blogs of people I know shows me not only what they

A lament

Why oh why is it so hard to conveniently prevent pregnancy in this day and age? I mean, all I want to do is have a little fun without worrying that I'm going to have to commit to something smaller and more obnoxious than I am for the next 18 years. I know there are women out there who really want children and my heart goes out to them. Good luck to you. But for those of us who don't, or don't want to right now, it's quite a pain in the rear end. Women have to either ingest hormones for temporary prevention or choose a permanent solution, which often means either you (or your partner if he's willing) going under the knife. [Side note - I feel a little bad about my X. He went under the knife but our timing was such that by the time we were allowed to take things out for a spin, we were living in different apartments and had signed divorce papers. Oops. Luckily I know he didn't have the procedure specifically for me.] Can't there be a middle ground? Something p

Too good to be true

I'm still in a good mood but I'm home now because I have some sort of stomach thing. I feel nauseous and have little pains in my tummy. Fun, you bet! I'm going to go lie on the couch now and read the Chronicles of Narnia - The Silver Chair. Only a book or two left to go in the series. Oh, and Friendster Guy took a gander at The Good Girls Guide to Bad Girl Sex . Of course the first page he sees is describing anal beads! Good grief! I'm still on Chapter 1 where the author is saying to look in the mirror and declare that you are a bad girl. I'm definitely not that kind of "bad girl." But we did get a laugh out of it.

Picture this, Massachusetts, 1996ish

I need you to pretend to be 17 again. Remember the embarassment? The self-doubt? Remember your first time? You may have to pick a different age but I really want you to feel this story because I find it absolutely horrifying. This is the story of someone close to me. This woman, or maybe I should say girl being that she was 17 at the time, and her then boyfriend consummated their relationship on Grounghogs day. It was her first time. Most likely his as well. Sometime soon afterward, she was walking through the halls of her high school as you do when you are 17. One of her male teachers came up to her and said, "So, Groundhogs day huh?" Can you even imagine? I mean can you? Really? The hole that I'd will to open up in the earth would never have been big enough to contain my shame. The rods with which I'd want to torture that man would never be hot enough or sharp enough to express my anger. A TEACHER!!! WTF? And don't forget her boyfriend for sharing the informatio

So far so good

I'm in a good mood today. You know why? Because Friendster Guy and I have gotten to that comfort level where he can clip his toenails (only one, he had a hangnail) and I can sleep in my bite guard (uber sexy FYI) and we're both ok with that. It may not sound like much, or very appetizing, but I like it. Also, I just got my weekly site visit summary and it appears that Big Girl Underoos may have helped a few lost souls out there. From the summary I can see how people found the site. Most searches are nasty and involve sexual acts. However, this week someone wandered here while asking "Does Nuvaring get in the way?" And she was directed to my post saying nope, it doesn't! Then, someone else looked for "inability to show intimacy". I hope knowing that they aren't the only one helped in some way. It's like my own private little public service announcement. Sassy Pants - helping one e-person at a time. I hope you all are having a lovely Tuesday.

I went all the way to Canada to see dildos eh.

So my mom and I were in Toronto this weekend. Well, mostly just Saturday because we drove there so Friday and Sunday were each about 8 hours in the car stopping along US Route 90 at various intervals to pee and get snacks at our nation's best invention - the Rest Area. I don't really think they are the best invention but sometimes, when you really gotta pee and are craving some Dunkin' Donuts coffee, they are like an oasis on the horizon. Except I wasn't craving Dunkin' Donuts coffee until I saw the signs announcing its presence in 15...6...2 miles!!! "Dear lord Mom, we HAVE to stop and get some Dunkin' Donuts coffee!" Besides gorging ourselves on roadside fast food we also stopped at Niagara Falls. Neither of us had been there before, which is why we endured being coated in frozen mist. It was hella cold. See! Brrrrr! I have no idea why anyone would want to Honeymoon there, even in the best of weather. Driving through the town of Niagara was depressin

Right message, wrong image

I'm back and going to bed. But in case you don't have anything else to do this evening, here's a follow-up on Teri Hatcher's Vanity Fair article about being molested. As you can see, the cover pretty much plays into feminine stereotypes and negates the message. It's great that she can embrace her sexuality despite having been sexually abused, but doesn't the subject warrant a little less sex appeal? Lord of the Rings was awesome by the way. Swing by Toronto and see it. It was like the movies, cirque du soleil, and the Lion King all rolled into one.

Imported puntang...poontang (sp?)

I know the first thing I think about when I hear "World Cup" and "Germany" is prostitution on a grand scale. Well, it wasn't the first thing I thought about until now. Also see I Blame The Patriarchy's mention. This post is going to have to tide you over for a few days. I'm off to Toronto with my Mom. We're going to see (don't laugh) the Lord of the Rings - the musical. Unfortunately, the links I am trying to find so you can be educated on this particular show are broken. Hmmm... When last I saw the ads it looked very Cirque du soleil. I'll let you know. Talk amongst yourselves.

Role Model

You know who I want to be when I grow up? Dame Judy Dench . She's funny, elegant, beautiful and you just know she's not going to take shit from anyone. Including James Bond. Plus we have the same haircut.

The State of the Union: Sex Education

I've been scouring the internet trying to figure out what the requirements are for sex education nowadays. Turns out, there are a whole lot of kids growing up ignorant. And given the fact that I am overly educated in this area and still don't know what the hell I'm doing, that's a scary fact. Go here for a brief rundown of the states and what they require. Only 22 states (and DC) mandate sex education. 21 states (not necessarily the ones that mandate sex ed) must stress abstinence. Only 13 states must cover, but not stress, contraceptives. 37 states and DC mandate STD/HIV education. How can you have STD/HIV education and not have sex education? I imagine the following: "Now kiddies, there are diseases out there that we can't tell you how you can get but God is watching you so be good. If you get one it means you are a bad person and God has punished you." I'm a firm believer that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Do legislators, minist

Way to go Lois Lane!

Teri Hatcher, of Desperate Housewives , reveals in Vanity Fair that she had been sexually abused by an uncle when she was a little kid. Read more here . Thanks for speaking out Teri! Also of note, today is International Women's Day , a "celebration of the economic, social, cultural and political achievements for women." Go out and celebrate!

Sex Ed refresher courses

When I was a kid I learned way more than the average kid about the mechanics of sex. When my mother was pregnant for my sister the doctor asked me where the baby was fully expecting me to say "In Mommy's tummy." Imagine his surprise when I said, "In Mommy's uterus." I was two. Precocious little git. Then I had and loved the book Where Did I Come From? when I was about 4 or 5. I have pictures of me reading it. If you have kids I highly recommend it. It's probably harder for the parents to read it than for the kids to hear it. From the time I was 10, or maybe even younger, my Mom would borrow The Miracle of Life from the library. You can watch the updated version at that link. The interior footage (i.e. inside the body) is the same but from the small portion I just watched, they've made it a lot more...sexy. John Lithgow narrates. In 6th grade I got the official sex education class in school. Coed. Giggles. Embarrassment. No one asked any questions o

Women lie and then pay for it

I was listening to a radio program the other night - probably John Tesh (there isn't a lot to listen to up here in Clear Stationville) and he, or some other DJ, was talking about what women lie about. Apparently, we lie about weight, age, height, and how much we exercise. I am 5'2", weigh 135 pounds (on a good day), I'm 29, and I exercise a lot. Granted, none of that is really anything to be ashamed of - depending on who I'm talking to. But I can honestly say I've never lied about any of those things, not even to get into a bar. I'm wondering about another number women lie about. You know the number I'm talking about. Your number . As in how many people you have slept with. I've been thinking about this number a little bit given all my thoughts on sex lately. I don't think my number is too high or too low. It works for me. What concerns me more is the numbers of the people who constitute my number. As we all know (or should), we sleep with every

Guys and Dolls

I love my guy friends. (Hi guys!) Four of my male friends read this blog with regularity (that I know of, there may be more). Two often post and two sometimes send me emails responding to something I've written - usually to my most honest and raw posts. My last post got 3 of the 4 to comment in some way. Mostly with helpful encouragement and "hell yeah I'd be turned on if you told me what to do and I'd also appreciate the guidance." Good to know guys. Thanks! I find it interesting that I haven't gotten any responses from the ladies. I know you are out there. I have been reading the Good Girl/Bad Girl book and it turns out that the author feels that about 60% of women feel the way I do on some level. They have a secret vixen hidden inside but don't know how to let her out. I actually took steps to let her out yesterday and it worked. TMI moment - I initiated a "practice session" and was actually able to verbalize a few instructions. Friendster Guy

Ignorance is bliss

Sometimes I wish I was stupid. To be oblivious would be so peaceful. Unfortunately, I am not (usually) an idiot. In fact, I think too much. WAY too much. I'm trapped in my own head. And it's becoming a problem. Especially in, shall we say, sexual matters. I am incapable of speaking about sex. Sure I can joke around with my gal pals or speak clinically about the parts, but when it comes to saying "I want this" or "let's do that" I have a sheer and utter block between my brain/body and my mouth. I am an articulate, confident woman with no fear about speaking in public. I even looked into being a sex ed teacher once. And yet I can't ask for what I want, or even state "that feels good." What the fuck is my problem? Seriously!? WTF? Why in the world do I have this particular issue? It makes no sense. I would love to be a brazen hussy. I mean it. I'd love to be able to walk into the room and say to Friendster Guy - "You! Come here and pl

Not so scientific survey

In honor of April being Sexual Assault Awareness Month and inspired by recent things I have encountered on the web, I have created this decidedly unscientific survey for you to pass around. The deadline for completing it is March 31st, 2006. I will post the results April 6th - A Day to End Sexual Violence . Go here to fill it out. Pass it on.

Complaints Department

There is only one thing in my life that I can complain about at the moment and that is the sheer and utter lack of hot water in my apartment when I want to take a shower. Thank goodness I can take one at the gym. Today I had to kneel on the floor of my tub and rinse my hair in tepid water. Fun you bet. Of course, if that's the only thing I have to complain about I really can't say I have a bad life. Switching gears, here is a DVD I really want to find and watch. It's called Searching for Angela Shelton . Watch the trailer. It's fascinating. "In the documentary Searching for Angela Shelton, filmmaker Angela Shelton journeys across the United States meeting other Angela Sheltons in an effort to survey women in America. She discovers that 24 out of the 40 Angela Sheltons she spoke to had been raped, beaten or molested. (now 28 out of 40)" "As Angela started interviewing other Angela Sheltons she found that 70% had been victims of rape, childhood sexual assau

Sorry folks

Didn't mean to leave you hanging there on the whole "Did her head explode or not?!" front. Suffice it to say that my head did not explode when Friendster Guy and X met last night. Nor did anyone have any really uncomfortable moments. My X, in a rather alarming change of attitude and personality, was super duper social. As in, he got to the bar before me, figured out who was in my group, introduced himself and proceded to have a great conversation while waiting for Friendster Guy and I. This from the man who won't call for pizza because he doesn't want to speak to another human. Honestly, I was kind of proud of him. He told me that without me he's had to force himself to be social. Good for him. Friendster Guy was quiet but it had nothing to do with the presence of X. We talked afterward and he said it was fun and he didn't feel weird at all. The weirdest part was when I had to introduce the two of them to people and then it sank in that I was sitting betwe

There is something to be said for sex with other people before marriage

I'm feeling very inexperienced. Don't get me wrong, I've done most of the deeds. However, my repertoire is limited in scope and variety. What exactly am I trying to say here without being too graphic...I feel like I'm 17 (or whatever age you can imagine a person being sexually active. For the record I was more like 20) and I've had sex but I still don't know exactly what I'm doing or what it's all about. And I'm this poor 17 year old and I'm talking to my girlfriends and they're like, "What? You never did/felt that? Girlfriend, you're behind the times." Only it's not the acts themselves I'm talking about, it's the comfort level within them, the sensualness, the intimacy. I have had sex. I have made love. But I have not had this kind of sex or this kind of making love. The fact that I am squeemish about the phrase "making love" means that my sexual development is behind. I'm like freaking Beavis and Butt

Moment of Zen

I'm playing with Blogger. I have yet to use any images. Here's one I took in San Diego at the Mission San Diego.

Random Musings

Here's a very cool quote I saw on a blog and am stealing to post here. "Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot." - D. H. Lawrence (1885 - 1930) It came from Tiffany, aka the Exciting Coquette. Go visit Tiffany would you? I don't know her from Adam but somehow she found my blog and took the time to post a comment or two and I appreciate that sort of thing. So Hi Tiffany in Iowa. Happy blogging. In other news, whoever packed my lunch mistook me for a rabbit. Oh right, that would be me. I have a container of raw string beans, a container of raw baby carrots, an apple, and a salad that also has string beans and apple in it, and craisins . I feel very healthy and all but I also feel very much in need of a hamburger. Or at least some sort of non-vegetable or fruit. Cheese or bread would be nice. The filing project is coming along nicely thanks for asking. And I did get my groove on in my office.

Watch out for shrapnel!

My Hope-oscopes for today are a little off: LOVE "Your charm and your intelligence are formidable [Well duh!]. Make sure you're not subtly using them to intimidate your honey into a decision that they're not quite ready to make. Let them get there on their own." I don't think there are any decision currently on the table so whatever. CAREER "It doesn't really matter what you're doing throughout the day, as you will doubtless enjoy your work. You've got a knack for squeezing fun out of any situation, and right now it's supercharged." Um, my goal for the day is to clean out a filing cabinet. It ain't exactly Mardi Gras. Maybe I'll have to put on some music and rock out in my office. By the way, today is the day Friendster Guy and X (and maybe High School Guy) all meet and my head explodes. Nothing about that in my horoscope. I talked to Friendster Guy last night to check in on his comfort level with this crazy endeavor. He's def