Sunday, November 06, 2005

Win, Lose, or Draw

For those of you following at home, my dating score is now:
wins 0
losses 1.5
draws .5
The date I didn’t think was a date definitely wasn’t – he has a girlfriend - so that counts for 1 loss. (Why he did not mention the girlfriend he has been seeing for a year in one of the myriad email conversations we had I do not know. Men. I wasn’t really disappointed. He’s definitely friend, not date, material.) Then, the date that was probably an actual date but was postponed counts for both the .5s. Why .5 in the loss and draw columns you ask? Well, not being one to sit on my butt wallowing in self-pity I made plans with other friends (2 girls and a guy) when the original ones fell through. These secondary plans ended up bringing me to a bar that Date #2, let’s call him B, frequents. Just because B postponed our date didn’t mean he had to stay home so I actually wondered whether I would see him there. I didn’t have to wonder for long. I did one scan of this bar and saw him at a table. With a blonde. I could have been shocked and horrified, “My god! We’re supposed to be out on a date and he’s out on another one!” but I wasn’t. I thought it was kind of funny. Plus, I was having a good time with the friends I was with. I figured he finished all he needed to do, called up someone more flexible than I, and went out. And that’s pretty much how it went down. We made eye contact across the bar, waved at each other and he left a little while later. Then he came back, sans blonde, and hung out with me and my friends, two of whom he also knew, for the rest of the evening. Hence the .5s. We flirted but it wasn’t a date, not with three other people there. I did get a kiss on the top of my head and a subtle butt swipe though.

I’m actually kind of glad we didn’t go out alone. B can put away his liquor. (And if what one of my friends says is true, it’s potentially in an excessive and repetitive manner.) Besides that, he was wearing what can only be described as “Bling” - a gold chain with a big old cross complete with a crucified Jesus on it, a large bracelet of gold squares, and a gold ring, of the medallion kind. Nothing subtle. He's a great guy but this jewelry extravaganza was off-putting. Now I don’t know about you, but the last time I checked I wasn’t a barracuda drawn to shiny objects across the room. If any men are out there reading this, unless you are an actual pimp, or a pirate you should not be wearing more gold than most women do. For that matter, women should not be wearing that much gold either.

Note to single girls out there: Wingmen are not just for boys. Having one guy to three women was a really good and safe strategy for the bar. Obviously my male friend, S, wasn’t dating all of us (or any of us) so to the other guys in the bar, at least two of us were available. A few of the bar guys started a conversation with S and he sort of screened them a little. Then we were able to talk to them casually without any pick-ups lines or cheesiness. In addition, should we have needed it, he could have gotten rid of any that were getting fresh. It helps if your wingman is a former football player with a black belt but it’s not 100% necessary.

Also of note: There were more attractive, potentially single men in my age range in that one bar in CT than there are within a 30 mile radius of my home in NH. I live in a dry county when it comes to single, eligible bachelors. I sort of knew that but Saturday night confirmed it and then some. Damn.


NinjaMama said...

I hear a lot of negetivity here woman. Lighten up, don't judge a book by its cover, etc.

The family scene sucks sometimes, but I don't envy you the dating scene.

Chin up.

(Just keep flashing that infective smile) : D

Sassy Pants said...

The funny part is, I jokingly told him not to wear "bling" to our date after there were some other indications he might be a bling kind of guy - certain car and dog choices he mentioned via email. I didn't know he actually WAS a bling guy. He's nice and funny and all that and I've known him since before the bling so it's not all negative. Just surprising.