Thursday, December 01, 2005

What’s a girl to do?

Ok, THIS is not a problem I thought I’d be having. I have too many dates! I had two today (more on that momentarily), I have one Saturday, I have one that may be a date retroactively depending on how it goes (I’ll explain in a minute), I’ve had one more guy specifically ask to meet and I think there is another who is going to and if he doesn’t I will ask him. That’s what, SIX dates with different men? Holy crap! So far it isn’t a problem, but what if they start wanting second dates? What if I like more than one? I’m like a kid in a candy store who realizes that at some point she might get a tummy ache. Until then however, bring it on.

I know you’ve been waiting with baited breath to hear about my first two dates!!! The first was with Friendster #1 for lunch. He’s even cuter in person than in his picture. He has beautiful gray eyes. He’s also very nice and sweet. I was really unsure of myself with him. But I don’t think it’s a match. I think we could definitely be friends but he’d have to grow on me to be more than that. Unfortunately, he is way too similar to my STBX. 1) Same name 2) grew up in NJ 3) only child 4) raised catholic. The more he told me about himself the more I wanted to start laughing at the irony. He explained at one point that if he lapsed into silence I should try not to feel uncomfortable, he was just quiet. Here I was, eating with someone I met at complete random on the internet and he was my STBX’s doppelganger. I think I need to email him and say I had a good time but I want to be just friends. I can use the completely valid excuse of him being the first person I met after the divorce. In fact, my divorce came up in conversation and I came totally clean about the timing and I even told him about his similarities to STBX. I told him if he wanted to run screaming from the room he could. He didn’t. He was very nice about the whole thing. I think he took it upon himself to make this transition as easy as possible for me. He mentioned that our date was a training date. Gosh he’s a nice guy. I think I already know what friend I'll set him up with.

I think I should include one thing I learn on each date in this blog. Here’s the first: I discovered on this date that I need someone to have witty banter with. It wasn’t a one sided conversation but it was definitely me doing almost a stand-up routine and him laughing. It was nice that he got my jokes but I’d really like to verbally spar with someone. I’ve added this information to my Match profile.

The second date (the guy from the gym, see last post) couldn’t have been more different from Friendster #1, except he too reminded me of someone – my ex-boyfriend from high school. He’s really cute too. In a totally different way –though. Friendster #1 is tall, dark, approachably handsome, slim. Date #2 is blonde, buff, one of those guys I would be intimidated to talk to at a bar because he’s already chatting up the nicest looking girl there. Tonight I got to be that girl. I had much more confidence with Date # 2 because he had so much confidence. He was flirty right off the bat. And he never stopped talking. Never. It was really hard to read him because one second he’d be completely serious and asking what I’m looking for in a relationship and in the next breath he’d say something very flirty and full of innuendo, very “How you doin’?” It was fun but confusing. He suggested we be friends but he essentially let me know that if I should do I put this?... a little action, I could count on him. He even growled at me! But at the same time it wasn’t smarmy. Like I said, very confusing. Oddly, of the two I think I’d choose the second one because I felt more comfortable. I never would have thought I’d be more comfortable with the player type. Maybe I just liked not having to work as hard to hold his attention. Oh wait, one more thing I have to tell you! He started speaking in spanish to me. He said something about when he saw me he heard music. I said "Creo que estas llena de merde." Translation: I believe you are full of shit. He laughed and then continued about las estrellas en mis ojos (the stars in my eyes). He was completely ok with me smacking him and teasing him back and I think that's what made it comfortable. But at the same time I couldn't tell which of his personas was the real one...

What I learned: It’s really fun to flirt and even the guys who seem like they have the most confidence don’t necessarily have it. No one is unapproachable if you have enough confidence in yourself.

I’ve got at least 3-4 more dates already lined up or being lined up so I don’t have to make any big decisions yet. Or ever really. And I’ll see date #2 at the gym from now on so I’m not going to do anything rash.

Ah yes, the date that isn’t a date. Know that it’s a very small world. I just found out that one of my co-workers went to my high school (over 2 hours away in another state). Even odder, I graduated with his younger brother. Ever more odd, that brother now lives 10 minutes away from me. Continuing the strangeness, this person and I never spoke in high school. There were 600 people in our class so that’s a lot of people to talk to, but I remembered who he was anyway. Now we’re meeting for lunch to talk about old times. He’s single, I’m single. I think this might be one of those retroactive dates. We’ll see. We had witty banter on the phone. I have had some of the most entertaining back and forth funny conversations with his brother, my married co-worker, so if he’s anything like that this could be good. When we spoke on the phone it was very natural and fun. I’m looking forward to getting to know him.

Now I must go to bed. I have to keep up my strength for the man marathon. This is some crazy shit, pardon my french.


NinjaMama said...

This is entirely too much fun!!

Just remember that most of the time you ARE the nicest looking girl in the room and all of the time the funniest.

There is something to be said for a booty call. Been there, done that. It's good for ya. ; D

Josh said...

You wouldn't, by any chance, be interested in naming names -- or dropping insider hints -- about someone (we) might have gone to high school with, now, would you? You know, what with me living vicariously through you and all.