Saturday, January 21, 2006

Chemistry 101

You can't fake chemistry.

Even if you really, really want to. If you are waiting for someone to grow on you, that's a sure sign that there is chemistry missing. If, hypothetically, your first kiss with someone you've gone on 5 dates with turns into a 2 hour make-out session with partial nudity (hypothetically!), and even though you're enjoying yourself, you still don't feel that spark ("you" being someone else entirely. Not me. Definitely not me.), that's a bad sign.

I would give that person the following advice: Stop the relationship before it goes even further.

But then they'd say, "but he's nice, handsome, sweet, intelligent".

And I'd reply, "So? If you aren't feeling that spark, find it with someone else who is nice, handsome, sweet, and intelligent."


"No buts! You're looking for a connection young lady. Not someone who's nice enough to hang out with. If you're forcing yourself to feel something it means you aren't feeling anything. Piss or get off the pot."

"But I don't want to hurt him."

"Oh please! You aren't in a committed relationship. Stop it before you'd feel even worse if you 'broke up'. You've met a nice guy who can now be a nice friend you happen to have seen naked. End of story."

Damn it, I hate when I'm right.


Anonymous said...

If I didn't know better, I'd swear I just walked in on someone giving herself pretty good advice. Of course, what I'd want to know is, did she follow her advice? And how did it go?
- js (and I'm sure I speak for at least the majority of your adoring public)

Sassy Pants said...

I sent the guy in question an email that said I'd like to talk with him about what we're doing - nothing deep, just to see if we're on the same page, or even in the same book. If he's just in whatever we're in for fun, that seems better to me than if he's looking for a long term relationship. What amuses me is that I'm taking the position High School Guy took with me, i.e. let's just have fun and not get too involved. I'm definitely understanding High School Guy's point of view a lot more now.