Monday, March 13, 2006

I went all the way to Canada to see dildos eh.

So my mom and I were in Toronto this weekend. Well, mostly just Saturday because we drove there so Friday and Sunday were each about 8 hours in the car stopping along US Route 90 at various intervals to pee and get snacks at our nation's best invention - the Rest Area. I don't really think they are the best invention but sometimes, when you really gotta pee and are craving some Dunkin' Donuts coffee, they are like an oasis on the horizon. Except I wasn't craving Dunkin' Donuts coffee until I saw the signs announcing its presence in 15...6...2 miles!!! "Dear lord Mom, we HAVE to stop and get some Dunkin' Donuts coffee!"

Besides gorging ourselves on roadside fast food we also stopped at Niagara Falls. Neither of us had been there before, which is why we endured being coated in frozen mist. It was hella cold. See! Brrrrr! I have no idea why anyone would want to Honeymoon there, even in the best of weather. Driving through the town of Niagara was depressing. And then the Canadian side is all Planet Hollywood, Hard Rock Cafe, Casino, never see the light of day and see the same things you can see in any mildly touristy place anywhere in the world placeish. I have no desire to return there. Even though you're at this beautiful natural wonder it's still tacky. It's too bad. It would be much better if you had to hike in. THAT would be awesome.

While wandering Toronto my Mom and I went into a Condom Shack. There is nothing quite as uncomfortable as being in a store with dildos AND your Mom. Unless of course you are there with your Dad. That would be worse. We didn't stay long. And then we both exclaimed how cool we were for going in, especially for going in as a mother-daughter duo. And you know what? We are cool.


We also went up in the CN Tower. Here's our feet standing on the glass floor. See the tiny little cars and semi-trucks? Standing on glass looking 100 plus floors down is not the most comfortable of feelings. Especially when little kids join you on your square and commence to jump up and down. Yeah, that's not funny. Luckily, few parents thought it was either.

2 comments:

josh said...

oy. wish i had known your route -- you passed within two miles of me on your way back. i would have made you lunch.

or dinner, whichever.

i was at the falls for spring break in '96. we stayed on the u.s. side, but found the canadian side to be a much better view. we hiked down to the whirlpool, and had dinner at a rotating restaurant atop something.

DecemberFlower said...

Your trip through Niagra sounds a lot like my trip to Wisconsin Dells a few years ago. My fiance and his family go up there just about every summer, and I had never been there so I went along. I did a little bit of research into what exactly the Dells were, and all I found was information about the nature-y stuff. When we got there, I found out that I'd been a little mistaken. While there was definitely lots of nice nature-y things to see there, the tourist traps totally polluted it.

I've been invited along again this year, and right now I don't have any plans, but I'm still pretty loath to go. Once was enough, especially when they do the same things every year.