Wednesday, March 15, 2006

A lament

Why oh why is it so hard to conveniently prevent pregnancy in this day and age? I mean, all I want to do is have a little fun without worrying that I'm going to have to commit to something smaller and more obnoxious than I am for the next 18 years.

I know there are women out there who really want children and my heart goes out to them. Good luck to you. But for those of us who don't, or don't want to right now, it's quite a pain in the rear end. Women have to either ingest hormones for temporary prevention or choose a permanent solution, which often means either you (or your partner if he's willing) going under the knife. [Side note - I feel a little bad about my X. He went under the knife but our timing was such that by the time we were allowed to take things out for a spin, we were living in different apartments and had signed divorce papers. Oops. Luckily I know he didn't have the procedure specifically for me.]

Can't there be a middle ground? Something permanently temporary? I guess the Nuvaring is helpful in that regard. You ignore it for 3 weeks. The problem is, it's giving me migraines. Once a month I'm getting nausea, auras, etc... and I'm not so sure about the whole "it'll make your skin clear up". I think it's gotten worse. Hormones are not a fun way to go for many women.

I don't want kids. I don't. But there's this little voice inside my head that says "what if you hit 39 or so and you are a whole new person and for some unknown reason you decide you want to procreate?" Am I the same person I was at 19? No. Did I want kids then? No. Do I want kids now? No. Will I want kids in another 10 years? With 98% surety I can say no. But what about that 2%? Will that 2% of me want to throttle the me from the past that went for a tubal ligation or Essure? Am I willing to take that risk?

On the other hand, do I want to spend the next 15-20 years on some sort of hormonal birth control? Hell no. I don't even think they recommend that.

I've gone the condom route. It's not exactly ideal. And it's one of the least effective birth control methods. There's nothing like having to deal with opening wrappers and coitus interuptus only to worry about have a bouncing bundle of joy anyway.

I betcha if men all of a sudden had to have the babies all methods of birth control would be free, money would be thrown at research, and abortion would be legal as all get out. Does anyone know of any scifi books that tell such a story?

What's a woman to do?


Dr.Nik said...

Muckin' with hormones sucks. All other barrier methods are only as good as the practice and quality of the barrier.

Then again, you end up with people like me.

Mom had an IUD and was slipping off the pill. and POP! unexpected me.

I really don't know. Being a man, I've always discussed this with my partners (well, not the 1 night stands) and found that condoms don't have to be a total interruption.

They can be part of the foreplay and if the guy practices, you can do it 1 handed. (Kind of like lighting a book of matches with 1 hand, it's a skill).

But you know... I'm all about the skills with lovin' :)

As for what to do?
We took the approach of: There are tons of unwanted children in the world, if we change our minds in 10 years, we'll just buy one (Adopt).

Jennifer Myszkowski said...

I'd like to take a moment to again advocate for the use of Seasonale.

Also, on the IUD front, they're way different than they were even a few years ago, and hella effective. Had one in for eight years without any trouble.

Something to consider.

Thank you and good night.

Jennifer Myszkowski said...

Oh Christ. I forgot the "my friend" in front of "had one in for eight years" part. I am not now nor have I ever been a consumer of an IUD.

npapaya said...

I've heard good things about the new IUDs too- apparently it's the contraceptive most doctors would recommend for themselves or someone else-interesting that my/our doctor hasn't said a peep. Maybe she's having flashbacks to the old ones-plus i gotta say all those images from Our Bodies Ourselves of IUDs and their complications keep running like a mini-movie in my head.
Also, can we just mention the cost associated with contraception? Not only am I paying through the nose for 7 days of bleeding, but now I have to pay for the days I'm not? At a rate of $1.43 per pill I might add- and this is WITH insurance.

Although I must say that at first there were no acne benefits for me -it recently seems to have kicked in and busted up the "over 30 acne party" my pores were throwing this year.

To summarize-- I'm lamenting right with you.