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Sounds of silence

Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation. ~James Thurber

When was the last time you had a one on one conversation with someone when there wasn't food or coffee involved, the TV was off, there was no radio and you weren't simultaneously checking email. Seriously, when?

Last night Friendster Guy and I each plopped down in one branch of the L of my couch, heads together, and just talked. Nothing else was going on. Nothing else had to be done. Mainly we reminisced about our nerd/geek tendencies in high school: me - AP/Honors classes, president of band two years in a row, him - fencing, a little too much chess. It was fun. We laughed, we picked on each other. I think that because we were both totally in the moment with no distractions we actually became a lot closer over an hour of mildly asinine conversation.

I'd recommend you work in a distraction free conversation with someone this week. It will probably feel a little awkward at first but enjoy the lulls in the conversation. There is wisdom in silence. I don't think he know it but Friendster Guy is teaching me to be less uncomfortable with gaps in the conversation. I tend to be a talker. He is not. I'm learning to stay silent once in awhile and I'm rewarded by his participation.

I am annoyed by individuals who are embarrassed by pauses in a conversation. To me, every conversational pause refreshes. ~George Sanders

Comments

Anonymous said…
the main character in the novel i'm reading right now -- lullaby by chuck palahniuk -- describes his neighbors as sound-aholics, noise-aholics, and quiet-ophobes.

we really are obsessed with sound. we turn the tv on for background noise; most tv watching is a secondary activity. we turn music on to clean and cook by.

if we can't hear the tv or radio, there's a good chance it's because we're running hair dryers or vacuum cleaners or the shower's really loud or we're on the phone.

distraction-free conversation aside; when was the last time most of us sat awake for any length of time in as much quiet as we could control?
8:37 AM
ben said…
oh, but the problem is that the last time i had such a conversation, it was rare and beautiful and true and i fell in love.

and that just can't happen every day.

can it?
10:22 AM
Sassy Pants said…
Mayhaps if I had had more of these conversations in the past I might still be married. Live and learn.

Dr. Nik and NinjaMama both have relationships to be admired so heed their words of wisdom.

And Sly Civilian - it might, it just might. And how nice would that be?
1:08 PM
the bewilderness said…
Funny how people are. The only time we have anything on while we are talking is when we talk about what's on. I never thought that much about it before. In our family, when we sit down to talk, we turn everything off. It's a family habit I think we got from my grandmother.
2:05 PM
Anonymous said…
Forget the talking... Geekdom? You can never get enough chess... lol
11:54 PM
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