Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Inspired by Heather over at This Fish Needs a Bicycle, here are 10 things I've learned from my relationships with men. Caution: Severe cynicism ahead... (I took it in a different direction than she did.)

1. It is possible to be perfectly content with the status quo of a bad relationship until the other person points out that they are not happy and are leaving. (My X)
2. There is no moral dilemma in dating one person while being in love with someone else. (Several former boyfriends)
3. Throwing yourself down a flight of stairs face first multiple times is a perfectly acceptable way to behave the first time you meet her father (you know who you are.)
4. It's ok to unfavorably compare your girlfriend's body to that of an overly developed 14 years old's - outloud no less.
5. Work is WAY more important than a relationship.
6. Dungeons and Dragons is WAY more important than a relationship.
7. As long as you write and sing songs that seem deep you don't actually have to care for someone.
8. It's ok to diss someone for pot and cause that very nice, now dissed person, to have to drive the friend you brought to the party, who she doesn't even know, home because you also dissed them.
9. It's ok (when you are over 25) to call a girl up and say "Hey, my parents aren't home, you wanna come over and take a shower with me?" (This isn't one of mine but it's worth including.)
10. Inviting one person to the prom and then spending the night talking about how beautiful another person looks is a really good way to spend an evening. Also, leaving your date at someone's house so when she wakes up in the morning thinking you are there she actually doesn't have a ride home is good form.

1 comment:

Mrs. Harridan said...

I've got one: it's totally cool to say you think you might be bisexual while breaking up with your girlfriend over the phone after she calls you from a pay phone from a strip mall.

And: It's OK to blame your girlfriend for your physical ailments, not because she's passed germs onto you, but because she stresses you out so much that she lowers your resistance and literally causes you to become ill.

Ah, I have a checkered past. I liked your one about the stairs. Bizarre!