Friday, September 21, 2007

If you quit it, they will come.

Dear Universe, Blogosphere, Yoda, and Kevin Costner,

I have a conundrum. I need to decide by next week whether or not to be done my current office prisoner job (working half days) by the end of October, or stretch it out until the end of November.

On the one hand, the guaranteed cash flow, even at 50%, would reduce my stress immeasurably. (I don't have any clients yet). On the other hand, any stress relief based on money will be counter acted by still having to go to this job everyday. (Plus, I won't have a flexible schedule in which to meet with clients once I get some because I'll be at my "day job.") The question is, will I burn out from having two jobs, or freak out because I have no money or benefits?

To be honest, right now, I'd much rather not have the job. I can only imagine that as my time comes to an end I will be even less enamored with the things I am already annoyed with. And living a double life will be rough. I can imagine dropping the ball in both places and not being the best employee for either company. There's nothing like screwing up ALL aspects of your life to make a girl feel confident. And speaking of all aspects of my life...

Since I like to do crazy in bulk, the other thing I have on my plate is a move. Essentially, whenever my apartment is dirty, I get a new one. Since I graduated from college nine years ago in 1998 I have changed domiciles 6 times: 1998 to TX, 1999 to new bigger/cheaper apt, 2000 to NH, 2002 to purchased condo, 2005 to new apt post divorce, 2006 to new apt closer to work. Now, I'm about to add a seventh move to co-habitate with your favorite bloggy boyfriend and mine, Friendster Guy!

That's right world. We have progressed to the next relationship stage, or at least the part where we start looking at places that would suit us. It's also being partly instigated by the fact that FG is getting kicked out of his apartment because his landlord is selling it. Things just fall into place like that Universe, which is why I beseech thee to provide me with a sign. Anything that will aid me in determining whether I fight it out at this job until Thanksgiving, or give up the ghost at Halloween (no pun intended, but it sure was worth it).

The groan that escaped me while thinking about still being here for Thanksgiving may have been a sign in and of itself.

Why is this so difficult? And is it really already that close to Christmas? (I will not freak out, I will not freak out...)


jt said...

You already have the answer you're looking for. Re-read your post. How many times do you say how much you dislike your day job? Just because it's work doesn't mean you should hate it. Give yourself permission to get the hell out and try the new thing.

What's the worst that can happen? You never get a single client and you're then forced to find the *next* thing you'd like to try, and then you do that. That worst-case-scenario is a *hell* of a lot better than looking back and wishing you'd taken a chance, back when you could.

Do it.

josh said...

what jt said.

plus, does it snow there by the end of november? do you really want to get up early, clean off your car, drive four mph to work at a job you hate?

i vote for the end of october (like it's a democracy over here or something)