Saturday, January 05, 2008

The Master of Tact and Discretion

And speaking of Melrose Place...

Picture this, Massachusetts, 1990ish. A girl of about 15 (me) sits in a living room watching Melrose Place. Her stepfather (who at that point in her life is pretty much an asshole) is nearby reading the paper or something.

Sassy - (to a character on Melrose who is about to commence an affair) "No! Don't do it!"

Step-Father - "Huh? Do what?"

Sassy - "Have an affair. That woman is about to start fooling around with that guy. They shouldn't do that!"

Step-Father - "Why not?" (in a voice that clearly indicates he sees nothing wrong with it.)

Sassy (who knows her Mom is her step-father's 3rd wife and therefore is assuming he's the affair type) - "Because it's bad!"

Step-Father - "Well, why do you think your parents got a divorce?"

Sassy - "..."

Sassy - "..."

Sassy - "Wha...huh...wha...who? I mean, who...huh?

Step-Father, nonchalantly, - "Your Mom with me."

Sassy - "Oh"

Sassy recommences watching Melrose Place with intense concentration so as to appear nonplussed when all she really wants to do is shout "Fuck me with a chainsaw, I didn't need to know that!"

That's not exactly the way a girl wants to find out something like that. The whole scenario still kind of pisses me off. I'm glad I know it, and now that I have gone through a shitty relationship and divorce myself I understand, but at 15, that can pretty much rock your world.

2 comments:

Queen Geek said...

Oh my god! What a complete dick! I can't believe that. Not something that a 15 year old needs to hear.

Sock Girl said...

OMG! That was so wrong. There was absolutely no reason to have told you that.