Big Girl Underoos

Apparently Wendy's went ahead and raised the prices on everything on their 99 cent menu. I'm pretty sure you aren't allowed to call it the 99 cent menu if the items for sale are at least $1.09 and up. When did this happen*? Why wasn't I informed? I could have saved myself an embarrassing moment in front of a 14 year old sales clerk at the drive-in if I had known. When you're out shopping and you know you only have about $2.31 in change to your name and you think that's going to cut it for two items off the cheapskate menu it is NOT COOL when the price has been raised and you have to stammer "uh, I'm short a dime [and unbelievably lame], can you take one of those items off?" What IS cool however is when you pull up to the next window to pick up the one measly item you could afford and they give you both anyway. Mmmm...Frosty... *According to Wikipedia, "The menu was restructured in 2007 as the Super Value Menu with prices ranging from 99¢ to $2...

I'm sick. I've had a head cold for the last few days. The hardest part however isn't the being sick, it's the guilt I'm feeling at getting nothing accomplished. I was ok the first few days, even canceling a couple clients and social engagements in order to get some rest, but for some reason today I feel like I'm a total slacker. I'm tryingg really hard not to feel bad about vegging on the couch but it's not quite working. I've got things to do! People to see! And I'm not doing any of it. Would I be doing these things even if I felt better? We'll never know.

I would like to make a law banning jogging shorts from all gyms. I have come way too close to seeing male clients goods than I ever want to get. It makes for a very uncomfortable situation. What am I supposed to say? Excuse me sir, I think you need to corral your 'nads? And may I point out that it's never the hot guys who are wearing them. (Not that I want to see their twig and giggle berries either. Cajones* should always be kept in check, even Brad Pitt's.) * I'm trying to use as many slang terms for testicles as I can in this post. Feel free to add some more to the comments section. That's right, it's audience participation time. Follow the bouncing ball! (hee hee)

I always wondered how they made those. Go here for more irreverent and creative looks at the lives of the flotsam and jetsam of our junk drawers and kitchen cabinets.

You know why I love Friendster Guy? Because every so often, despite the fact that he is a manly, NRA card carrying, Republican firefighter, he shows his softer side. Like yesterday when he was downloading music. I hadn't heard the song that was suddenly coming out of the speakers. It had a good beat and I asked, "Is that Brittany Spears?" His reply? "No, it's, uh, Hannah Montana." Gosh you gotta love a guy who isn't afraid of tapping into his inner 9 year old girl.

Guess what? I'm the employee of the month! Freakin' A.

I'm back. I'm tired. Since I'm still on Colorado time my 7am training session this morning felt like it was at 5am. I've never felt more like throwing my alarm clock out the window. I can see why one of these might be cathartic.

News flash: I am currently in the great state of Colorado skiing. This is the first time I have skied anywhere but a local northeast ski area since I learned how to ski last year. Surprisingly, I have not yet entered panic mode at being placed so far out of my comfort zone. In fact, I might even say I'm having fun. Except for the brief stint with altitude sickness earlier today when I got really nauseous. It's not good to be thinking, "Has anyone ever puked off the chairlift before? And might I become one of them in the next 3-5 minutes?" The flight out was also, well, to put it mildly, like riding the vomit comet. It was an exercise in self control. I had to use every weapon in my motion sickness arsenal to stop myself from losing my cookies. I was pinching pressure points, pointing fans, meditating, singing songs to myself and everything else I could think of. This after I'd already had 2 dramine. I don't know if I've mentioned my motion sickness before....

Normal people get songs stuck in their head. But me? I get stupid Star Wars quotes. Whiny, Luke Skywalker, quotes. Apparently, my inner geek is trying to get out. Here's what is on repeat in my head: "But I was gonna go into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!"