Skip to main content

Conundrum: Feminist or Seductress?

What's a feminist to do when on the one hand she is annoyed with the patriarchal society that glorifies fake boobs and violence against women and on the other hand is fascinated by the idea of working at Hooters?

Am I buying into the masculine ideas about what a woman should be - sexy, subservient, an object of desire, or am I wanting to be a woman - sexy, powerful, an object of desire?

It's a chicken and an egg problem. Which came first? Men's need for women to be a certain way in order to be attractive, or women's need to be a certain way in order to be happy with herself? What if in order to be happy with yourself you have to buy into feminine norms? What if you honest to goodness like feminine norms? Should you be chastized by the feminist movement for falling for what society calls for or should you be celebrated for doing what you like, even if that means high heels, lipstick and little orange shorts?

What's a modern day women to do if all she wants is to be oggled by a stranger every so often?

I was running yesterday and two guys in a car almost gave themselves whiplash checking me out. And I wasn't even in what I'd consider "cute" mode. They drove on. I guess one of the main issues is the difference between innocent oggling/appreciation for the female form (mine in particular) versus that car turning around and chatting me up. It's a fine line and I'm sure it's crossed over and over at Hooters. The fantasy of being a Hooter Girl versus the reality of it. The perpetuation of a myth that it's ok to oggle, because after all, these girls are letting me see them in these outfits...so I can joke a little... and then harass...and then touch...and then control...

I think I need to bust out my Steinem expose on the Playboy Club and refresh my memory a little.

Comments

Anonymous said…
sassy --

you might want to take a little time to browse feministing's archives. editor jessica valenti and her contributors are big on the fact that wanting to show off what you've got -- and to be sex-positive about yourself and others -- is well within the bounds of responsible feminism.

and, from my perspective, so is pressing charges when someone crosses the line. even if your uniform invites eyes, it does invite hands. or words.
4:10 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Gone by the wayside

I have no idea if anyone is reading this anymore. If you have been loyally checking back now and again I applaud you. At one point this blog was a therapeutic outlet for me. I'm glad to have a chronicle of my experiences during this time of my life. Now, however, instead of a creative outlet it's more of a nagging reminder that I should be posting and this girl does not need one more thing on her "To Do" list. I'd love for you to explore the archives if you so chose. If you have already done so, here's a brief update: Friendster Guy and I are still together and co-habitating. We are in domestic, but still unwedded, bliss (that status could be a post or two in and of itself, but, as I've just said, I'm done with that.) We're so domesticated we're in the market for granite countertops. We also just returned from an Aussie/New Zealand vacation and if 8 days in a tiny RV won't solidify (or destroy) a relationship nothing will. We're stronge
23 comments
Read more

Making Eye Babies

Colleges often have a lot of rules the students need to follow. After all, a bunch of 18-21 year olds can't really be expected to self-govern on their own, at least not 24/7, no matter how vehement they are that they can do just that. (I was 18-21 once myself so I know it's annoying to hear that. I don't mean all 18-21 year olds individually, I mean when they all get together in one place.) Then there are Christian Colleges which have more rules, often based on biblical teachings and moral dictates. Further down the spectrum is Bob Jones University* which considers the Christian colleges just too darn liberal so they piles on a bunch of morally based codes of behavior. Not to be outdone by the crazy liberal heathens at Bob Jones, Pensacola Christian College goes hog wild with the rules and moral imperatives and makes the Taliban look almost liberal. An article in the March 24th edition of the Chronicle of Higher Education explains some of the rules and regulations the stu
5 comments
Read more

Everything old is new again...

It's been 10 years since last I posted here. Ten. Years. I guess it is true that things on the internet never disappear. I'm honestly shocked I was able to log in. A quick update: Friendster Guy and I split up, amicably, 2 years ago. Since then I've dated 3 gentlemen, the most recent of which lasted a year but once again, ended. Amicably. I'm excellent at breakups apparently. I have just reentered the world of on-line dating and was thinking how I used to chronicle my exploits here. A lot of things have changed in the interim - texting, Facebook being open to all, the ubiquity of camera phones, a new generation of dating sites/apps. But, a lot of things haven't. Men are still...men. The technology may have changed, but the people behind the scenes are still the same. The main difference is that I'm now 15 years older. Maybe, just maybe, I'm also wiser. And maybe, if I cross my fingers really hard, so are the gentlemen I end up meeting. 
Post a Comment
Read more