You - "Oh no she di'int!"
Me - "Yup, I went there."
You - "But why? I mean, really, what purpose could it possibly serve?"
Me - "Well, I needed some accountability. I needed to know exactly what I'm talking about when I say, 'I need to lose a little weight.'"
You - "Apparently, you also needed some humiliation because, c'mon. Putting your "Before" pictures up on the internet? Holy bejeezus."
Me - "I know. I'm kind of appalled at myself as well. Especially since some of my readers happen to be ex-boyfriends (Hi guys! See what you're missing?) and co-workers. And a whole hell of a lot of people that I don't even know but who can now say they have seen me in as little as I ever tend to be dressed in. Especially on the abs. I love that they invented tankinis in my lifetime because my abs never see the light of day (as you can see from the overly caucasian pigmentation.) As you can also see, I have no hips or waist. None. I go from shoulder to knee with nary a degree of indentation. Unless I remove a rib, this will most likely continue to be the case."
You - "Aaahhh, my retinas!"
Me - "Good lord, it's not that awful. It was a lot worse fifteen pounds and no muscle ago. In fact, I keep looking at these pictures thinking, 'hmm, not as bad as I thought,' but then, 'Do I really stand that swaybacked?' Anyway, sorry. I was trying to inspire you, not blind you. But I see now that I have failed. My bad. Hopefully in six weeks I can share some new and improved Sassy pictures while doing less damage to your eye structure. And more boosting of my ego."
Me - "Yup, I went there."
You - "But why? I mean, really, what purpose could it possibly serve?"
Me - "Well, I needed some accountability. I needed to know exactly what I'm talking about when I say, 'I need to lose a little weight.'"
You - "Apparently, you also needed some humiliation because, c'mon. Putting your "Before" pictures up on the internet? Holy bejeezus."
Me - "I know. I'm kind of appalled at myself as well. Especially since some of my readers happen to be ex-boyfriends (Hi guys! See what you're missing?) and co-workers. And a whole hell of a lot of people that I don't even know but who can now say they have seen me in as little as I ever tend to be dressed in. Especially on the abs. I love that they invented tankinis in my lifetime because my abs never see the light of day (as you can see from the overly caucasian pigmentation.) As you can also see, I have no hips or waist. None. I go from shoulder to knee with nary a degree of indentation. Unless I remove a rib, this will most likely continue to be the case."
Me - "Good lord, it's not that awful. It was a lot worse fifteen pounds and no muscle ago. In fact, I keep looking at these pictures thinking, 'hmm, not as bad as I thought,' but then, 'Do I really stand that swaybacked?' Anyway, sorry. I was trying to inspire you, not blind you. But I see now that I have failed. My bad. Hopefully in six weeks I can share some new and improved Sassy pictures while doing less damage to your eye structure. And more boosting of my ego."
Comments
And, just for the record, your "before" looks better than most people's "after".
What I've learned so far from being forced to look at the pictures is perspective. It's one thing to have a breakdown moment screaming, "I'm a big fat lardass! I never should have eaten that [insert food product of choice here.]" it's another to actually step back and SEE yourself. And probably, more importantly, look kindly upon yourself. Self-hatred is pretty potent. Self-awareness is a way to counter act it. (Don't ask me where I'm getting this "wisdom," or where I get off imparting it, I'm just making shit up as I go along.)
I found that same theory holds true for eating habits. If I don't know what I'm eating, I tend to assume I'm eating too much and should be punished. My worst moments were when I thought I'd eaten too much. When I actually started writing things down and looked at the journal, I hadn't been doing all that bad. But I'd been giving myself the riot act for no reason.
I do have to say that when I say I "need" to lose weight, I mean "want." That's something I should try to change vocabulary-wise since I have not been told I need to lose weight for medical purposes (although the Type I and Type 2 diabetes on both sides of my family kind of looms over me.)Just like changing "I can't" to "I won't." The first implies I have no options, the second means I made a choice. And really, when it comes down to it, eating healthy and exercising is all about choice.
In the immortal words of Bill and Ted, "Be excellent to each other." And to yourself.
I on the other hand don't need to do that because while walking today I was told that I was too sexy to exercise and was axed for my digits. Yup I was! Didn't know if i was flattered or what. When I wouldn't give him my digits he axed if I would follow him to his ride so he could get a pen and give me his so I could call him and say HI.
Why??? Why can't I be left along when I walk? Is it really too much to ask for? At least crazy old man isn't out cheering me on giving me the creeps.
I only ate 1 breakfast today. Yesterday after the homemade doughnuts (which was breakfast #2) There was blueberry pancakes. I can't resist blueberry pancakes. I was so ashamed of myself. I did only eat 1 lunch and 1 dinner. Yeah Me!!!!