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Screw Friendster Guy, I got me a new man!





This is Craig. I do not know him.

He sent me this message on MySpace:

"my word you are so precious, your such a beautiful lil gurl !"

I just threw up in my mouth a little. And vowed to get stronger locks on my door.

At the same time though, the sheer and utter lack of proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation kind of turns me on. That and his love of tractor pulls, Sponge Bob, his two kids, his 65" TV, and his hero Burt Reynolds. (I'm not making this up, I looked at his profile.)

So ladies, if the following sounds good to you, give old Craig a holla!

"who id like to meet, well, mnnnnnnnn lets see, well, i dunno, i love long hair,i love lil precious dollbabys, the cute, nieve ones, someone who doesnt have alot of ex b/f issues, would like to find some one who loves the ocean, loves to cuddle, has a strong sexual appetite, knows how to braid lil gurls hair, ,some one who likes to travel around, or sit on the couch, on a sunday, and tune in to my 65" home theatre t.v. and just cuddle, watch a movie, or just send the kids out to play, and well, i ,umm, aw hell never mind ! so, i guess if ya wanna, hang out, go out, have a realationship,date, get married, or just knock me the hell out with a barn shovel, get me down on the ground, and rape the hell outta me, check me out, and say hi......actually, hold up, forget the whole barn shovel thing, im thinking im kinda all set with that !, .........seriously !"

Comments

Anonymous said…
is "knock me the hell out with a barn shovel" a severable clause? because really, doesn't that sound like a good idea?
8:10 AM
Anonymous said…
i can only pray that this is some sort of prank..
8:30 AM
Sassy Pants said…
Keep praying Npapaya. He's all sorts of serious. At least he only gave me a compliment, not a phone number.
8:41 AM
Mrs. Harridan said…
Methinks that Craig is a little nieve when it comes to chicks. Just a guess, though.
2:05 PM
Sassy Pants said…
My concern is that he is "all set" with the barn shovel thing. Does that mean, "all set" in the sarcastic, "no thank you" sense, or does that mean it's already happened to him and he's happy with the little gurl who done it and doesn't need another one for that particular project?

Either way we would never work out because I can't braid hair. Cryin' shame.
2:49 PM
Anonymous said…
Now where does this Craig live? It always tell ya a little something about them when ya look at where they come from- sorry.
5:58 PM
Sassy Pants said…
Scarily he is from NH, i.e. a local. Granted it's podunk, NH but still.
8:15 AM
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