Big Girl Underoos

I was directed to this woman's blog via Shell's post about a "kerfuffle" (I'm totally stealing this word from Shell over at Words, Words, Words because it's fun to say. Like "akimbo" in my last post. Feel free to use both in a sentence sometime soon. "There was a kerfuffle over me falling off the stage while naked with private parts all akimbo." Fun stuff I tell ya, but I digress... hell, that's blogging status quo.) Anywho, the kerfuffle was about some topless pics of her on Flickr. And *gasp* she's a professor. You can read more about it over at Shell's place . What I'd like to point you to is a previous post of Dr. Diana's about dieting and body image. I'd really like to adopt her philosophy. I find it sound and sane. And she has a good point about Oprah and her behavior. Suffice it to say, I would never turn down a dinner invitation with anyone, especially if the only reason was because I'm not allowed to ea...

I really dislike talking to people with sunglasses on that are so reflective or dark that I can't see their eyes. I adored my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Halpin. While everyone else was whooping and running out of the building on the last day of school I cried because I would miss her so much. One of the most important things she taught me, besides multiplication tables, was to always look a person in the eye when you're talking to them. So when a person, for all intents and purposes, doesn't have eyes, it is very disconcerting. I can't focus. It's like having a phone conversation only with a phone conversation no one cares that you're looking here and there. Since in a sunglasses conversation the person is right there in front of you you can't let your eyes wander. But there is also nothing else to rest on. And so my concentration is on trying not to not look in their "eyes" instead of on the conversation. And it stresses me out. Maybe I should jus...

Did I ever show you this? It's from my stint as a nude model. I asked for a souvenir sketch and here it is. I'm not quite sure what is going on with the basketball head but nice ass huh? I had to will myself to stay awake on all the pillows because by this point I'd already done eight 5-minute poses. This was a 40 minute long pose and I was ready for a nap. The only thing stopping me from snoozing was the fear of unconsciously rolling over, falling off the little stage, and having everything all akimbo and covered in black smudges because the floor was coated in a semester's worth of charcoal pencil. A legitimate fear I'm sure you'll agree. This picture is framed and hanging in my bedroom. To remind me of my fearlessness. And that I still have a nice ass even if I can no longer zip my pants because of my expanding waistline.

Can I just say that I LOVE the title of this study? I haven't even gone to the link but it's so amusing I had to share it. " Study Questions Accuracy of Studies; Researcher Into Health Research Says about a Third of Research Wrong "

Every so often the President gets up and tells the world about the state of the Union, in what is creatively called, the State of the Union. Admittedly, I never watch. I just can't. It's like chalkboard fingernail scratching and water torture combined - quick painful bursts and inexorable discomfort. Just one more reason I am glad I no longer have cable. What all this has to do with the price of tea in China I don't know. But in a week from today I will be turning thirty and I thought it might be a good idea to take stock once again. For awhile there I was updating you all on the Sassy Pants Seven (or Eight depending): Diet, Discardia, Thesis, Work, Finances, Vacation, Fitness and Relationship. That seems to have fallen by the wayside but I intend to change that here. Hopefully, the state of my union will not be quite as painful as the real one. Diet - There is a reason that the diet and fitness industries are bazillion dollar money makers. That reason being that I, like so...

You know what I'm really enjoying? Listening to Slaughterhouse 5 on CD. I've never listened to a book on tape (CD) before. I got it out of the library as a trial to see if I'd like it. I'd never read the book and it was on my list to read so I thought, "Why not?" I actually get excited about my commute now. I find myself thinking, "Yes! I get to listen to my book again!" instead of "Oh great, another 25 minutes of my life gone forever." It's good to find new ways to amuse yourself.

Friendster Guy and I have a running, mmm, I wouldn't say joke, but a running commentary about how he sleeps better when I'm not around. Given the fact that as long as we are together I will be around and sometimes sharing a bed, and that for the foreseeable future that is how it's going to be - and it may someday even increase - he's just going to have to suck it up. To prove his point, however, he jokingly shared this headline with me " Study: Men Sharing Beds Impairs Mental Ability ", also cross referenced under " Men Who Sleep With A Partner Are Dumber " First, one study of 8 unmarried heterosexual couples does not a scientific study make. Second, it's not that men are dumber, they just choose to use their brain less if there is a female around. There are two reasons for this. The first is that their brain tends to be a little lower in their body when a woman is around. Second, men tend to coopt a woman's brain if they have one around to u...

What I am about to tell you make shock and horrify you but let me just say, let he or she who is without fashion sin cast the first stone(washed jeans). There was something that occured while on vacation that to many people - much shallower than I - would have potentially been a deal breaker. For me however, it just endeared Friendster Guy to me even more. That incident folks, was the wearing of a fanny pack. Now that you've gasped and cringed I have a confession to make. I too have been known to wear a fanny pack. And, I have been chastized vehemently for it. Mostly by my sister- that paragon of fashion and, well, bitchiness. But you know what? Sometimes you don't want to carry a friggin' purse and sometimes your pockets are just not quite big enough for all you need to carry. I am not advocating the fanny pack in all situations but in cases such as the beach or an amusement park I think they are AOK. Fuggly. Yes. But practical. I've always been more on the practical s...

Last weekend my Mom was telling me about an article in O(prah) magazine a month or so back where they talked about people who are sponges and take on the attitude and feelings of others around them. It can manifest itself in mirroring behaviors, emotional changes, and also physically. I am SUCH a sponge. It's why I don't like to watch movies where someone gets embarassed. I feel their pain too profoundly. It's also why I avoid negative people like the plague. I get physical symptoms because my body rejects what the sponge wants to take in. I had a negative boss several jobs back, and by negative boss I mean she-devil, and I ended up with a night guard to stop me from clenching my teeth at night. Since my vacation, I've been feeling like a much more sedate version of myself. I still feel like myself but I lack the vim and vigor I am known for. It's funny because in my interactions with people I can see, almost as if from a perspective outside myself, that I am quiete...

My bra is making my boobs look too big today. I know this is not usually something that a person in an A, maaaybe B, cup probably complains about. For some reason though, when my bra + breast size reaches a critical mass, or appears to under certain garments, I feel frumpy and dumpy. So I feel frumpy and dumpy today. And hot. In the temperature sense of the word. Frumpy, dumpy, sweaty and clammy. With a headache just beginning to creep in. I think I'm sleep deprived. Frumpy, dumpy, sweaty, clammy, headachy and tired. With big boobs. But in a negative way. That's as deep as it gets here at Sassy Pants Inc today people. Have a great weekend. Friendster Guy and I are off to a wedding in NY with almost my entire family - 3 siblings, one set of parents, and my niece. That should be plenty to send Friendster Guy into fetal position or screaming from the room. Actually, it should be fun. Should. Wish us luck!

Except that slacking implies laziness. It's not that I don't want to blog, it's just that I have no time. I have plenty to say. Lots in fact. But my new job is actually making me work! What's that about? Anyway, I hope to more regularly post as I settle in to my new life and the softball season ends. By the way, I vented to my mother this weekend about my siblings and their treatment of me versus X. I then received a heart-felt apology from my little brother via email. It was very nice. More on this and other developments later. Gotta go! Sheesh.

My family, specifically my siblings, have adopted my X into the family as if he were the prodigal son. He's been invited to every single family event until November. And I don't say November to be facetious. He's seriously honest-to-god been invited on our family trip to Disney World at Thanksgiving. And he's seriously thinking about going*. All I have to say to that is where's my fatted calf mo' fo's? It's to the point that one of the reasons I wasn't keen on having a big 30th birthday party with my family was because I didn't want to be the bad guy and tell them they couldn't invite X. I wouldn't have put it past my sister to ask me if she could. At least she asks. But what am I supposed to say? Saying no makes me the bitch and only makes X look better. However, I definitely would have said no to that. I don't have to now because the plans changed and I'm just going to have a series of smaller get-togethers instead. Fine by me...

I'm feeling very accomplished today. Partly to allay my guilt at not going out running, I have been getting a bunch of stuff done since I got out of work. - I got my haircut. - Filled up my car. (Ok, so I did these first two on my lunch break.) - Went to the recycling center, aka Transfer Station. - Updated Quicken. (I'm switching from biweekly paychecks to monthly paychecks and there is going to be a little bit of a financial squeeze between now and the first. Luckily, my big bills aren't due until then.) - Uploaded 4 CDs from the library into my computer. (Why did it take me this long to realize I could do this? Doh! Free music. All genres. Get thee to thy library and pillage their collections!) - Found a basket for a wedding gift I need to put together for next weekend. They didn't register so I'm giving them a bunch of breakfast goodies - jams, syrup, International Foods coffee etc...Stuff they don't need to keep forever. - Did my laundry. - And now I'm ...

If you'd like to see if Marie Claire is as on the nose about your 2006 horoscope as they are mine, here's a link to it. Enjoy!

Way back in the blistery month of January my friend N photocopied my 2006 year long horoscope out of Marie Claire and gave it to me. I found it again while cleaning out my old office. Of all the horoscopes I've ever read, this one is the most true. Or at least it has translated itself the best to my actual life. A few highlights: LEO - Your life in the next 12 months: You're in a magnificent cycle that will last another year-and-a-half ... in which Saturn will lead you closer and closer to stability - emotional and financial. [So far so good - I did find a boyfriend and managed to pay off my credit cards.] This year's transitions will involve putting down new roots. [Does not having to move to follow a (ex)spouse to their next career step count? I think it does.] A major career or lifestyle change is in store, if you take some chances... [Today is day two of my new job. Check.] Your love life: As a Leo your heart overflows with love, and you seek outlets for your generosit...

I'm baaack. Do do do do. Do do do do... What a lovely vacation. Probably up there in my top three. The other two being vacations where I was by myself. Why? Because I didn't have to do all the thinking and then hear all the complaining (subtle though it may have been) as to why my choices - which should have been our choices - were bad. My X had a tendency to make negative comments after the fact. Just enough to make me feel both bad and annoyed. Like this: Me - Which way should we go? The scenic route or the highway. Him - I don't know. Me - Ok, we'll go the scenic route. That way we'll avoid the tourist traffic. Driving, driving, driving. Hit construction or a parade or a herd of cows or something else beyond my control. Him - I knew we should have taken the highway. There is nothing inherently bad in his statement. But when someone constantly expresses their opinion that essentially your choice wasn't good and that is why we are in this predicament (despit...