Big Girl Underoos

Happy Divorceaversary to me. Happy Divorceaversary to me. Happy Divorcea ver s ary to MEEee! Happy Divorceaversary to me. That's right folks, one year ago today my divorce was final. I had thought it was December 1st but it's today. This is just as well because tomorrow is a different one year anniversary - it's the day I met Friendster Guy! Yeah! I'll tell you what, if I knew then how satisfying my life would be post-divorce, I would have gotten divorced in 2003, not 2005. Seriously. I went and saw a counselor in 2003 and that was the first time I muttered the word divorce. I guess at that point I wasn't quite ready. I wanted to give the relationship a try. Unfortunately X didn't. Which, in the long run, worked out for the best. It made for a bitch of a 2004-2005 but it made for a fabulous 2006. Here's to a great future. P.S. Happy last day of NaBloPoMo. Welcome to my Personal Thesis Writing Month (PerTheWriMo - it doesn't quite have the same ring thoug...

I just saved $47 by switching to Geico! Sort of. I DID save $47 but I already had Geico. I just updated my renters insurance with my new address and, lo and behold, for some reason my new town saves me $47 a year - probably because I'm less than half a mile from the fire station. This is quite awesome since the only reason I remembered to call them and change my address was because they sent me my annual bill. And now it's $47 less. Almost 19% off. I'm totally doing a happy dance in my seat right now. It didn't change my car insurance but turning 30 did a few months back so I can't complain. Now if only Sallie Mae would get off my back. Dang student loans.

Me - You know what we should do next year? We should have a Turducken . Friendster guy - Why? Me - Because it's cool. Then we could ask people if they've ever had Turducken and when they say "No" we can say "We have. Losers." FG - silence Me- What?! It would be cool! FG - Yeah, because any food product that starts with "Turd" is a good idea.

Today I finished buying all my families Xmas presents! Whoo hoo! Now I just have to tackle a couple friends, Friendster Guy, and my coworkers. I didn't know about the coworkers until this week. Dang. And I have to put a few things together before they are completely done... Then I have to wrap... (although that will most likely involve gift bags. Wonderful little things. And reusable!) Sigh... Even when it feels like I've reached the end, it isn't.

I dared to brave the scale today and, miraculously, I gained nary a pound during the holiday's overindulgences (including an abundance of leftovers). I may have even lost an ounce or two. It probably helped that I'm not a big fan of pumpkin or apple pie. If there had been chocolate of the cakelike variety (cake, brownies, lava/pudding cake - I LOVE that stuff) it may have been a different scenario. I have one more Thanksgiving tomorrow. That's right, the hits just keep a comin'. This one is with Friendster Guy's parents. I'm looking forward to it. Random Thought #1: I love seeing really old guys driving cars with liberal bumper stickers. Not only do I say a little cheer for another liberal among us, but I also receive a kick in the (sassy) pants about my assumptions and prejudices. Don't judge a book by it's cover little lady. Random Thought #2: Why does spam (the email kind) exist? Can there really be that many people out there who just don't unders...

I'd like to give mad props to Friendster Guy for helping me move my refrigerator door from one side to the other so I don't have to walk around the door any longer to get into the fridge. (There's nothing more frustrating.) The poor man walked into the project already in progress and about to fall into disarray. I'd pretty much taken everything apart and just discovered that it was no longer a one person job when he arrived at my house. Since neither of us knew really what we were doing it could have gone FUBAR really quick. We could have had not only melted ice cream but also a meltdown. Instead, we not only got the job done but even managed a little laughter when we discovered a part we'd taken off but hadn't put back on. Even upon inspection, we still weren't actually sure where it was supposed to go. If it had been my X who had walked into such a situation, well, let's just say I wouldn't be able to say that I actually enjoyed the time together. ...

1) Why would my insurance company send me a notice stating that they received my change of address to the old address I just changed it from? 2) I was driving to my sister's house today for my niece's birthday and stopped halfway there to pick up birthday candles (my sister forgot them.) Halfway to my sister's is about 35-40 minutes away from my house. I start walking into the grocery store and who is walking in front of me? My OB/GYN. I think I need to move somewhere with a larger population base, this is just ridiculous. 3) I survived my niece's party with X's New Girlfriend but without Friendster Guy. It wasn't that bad because my niece had a friend there so paid no attention to any of the adults. Therefore she did no bonding with X'sNGF. Ha! 4) Last night I had a dream that I was a swimsuit model. It was a dream and not a nightmare because somehow I managed to actually look like a swimsuit model. Then I woke up and couldn't button my jeans. Bolux!

Inspired by Old Blue Socks - Here are 5 of my childhood disappointments. (Not exactly the best of subjects given that I'm supposed to be thinking about things I'm grateful for but whatever.) 1) " I was disappointed that nobody ever saw Mr. Snuffalupagus." I'm totally stealing this from Old Blue Socks because it is exactly right, I even watched the episode as a grown-up when they finally saw him. 2) I was disappointed in the Christmas where I got the same exact things my sister did only in a different color. This wouldn't have been so bad if my family's tradition wasn't to open presents in order of age with youngest going first. By the time they got to me, the eldest, I had already determined which item was the umbrella, belt, doll, earrings and pajamas. Not to mention that no one was paying attention to me anymore because I was 12 and my brother was 4 and therefore was 1) cuter and 2) demanded more attention. 3) I was terribly, terribly sad when they...

I worked on my thesis today. Go me! AND I took a special 2 hour post-Thanksgiving "Unstuffathon" class at the gym. It was a combination of step, kick boxing, whatever they are now calling "jazzercise," weights and abs. I am going to be SORE tomorrow. Heck, I'm sore now. I also hung up a bunch of pictures in my new apartment. And it's only 3pm! I'm sure I'll slow down soon. Until then, off to try to get a few more paragraphs of my thesis interviews edited.

I discovered this one over at Two Boys and an Angel. What can I say, the tryptophan took away my creative juices. 1. Explain what ended your last relationship. We didn't love each other anymore. I realized it. He didn't. I put up with essentially a roomate for a long time while trying to fix things. He was happy with status quo. I said screw that. 2. When was the last time you shaved? This morning 3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Waiting for my Dad to arrive so we can drive to my grandmothers. 4. Are you any good at math? Yes, sort of. I was forced to take accelerated courses in Junior High and I would cry when I did my homework because it was so hard. 5. Your prom night, what do you remember about it? My date asked me to go steady with him. Oh, and I looked fabulous! 6. Do you have any famous ancestors? No. But my step-mother is related to William Shakespeare's wife. 7. Have you had to take a loan out for school? Yes and I just restarted paying them back. 8. ...

Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house I go! Literally. I'm driving from the VT side of NH up to the NH border of ME (Maine) which will take about 3 hours. I'm stuffing my face and then turning around and making the drive again. My car will also include my Dad and my stepmother. Luckily they are letting me drive. I get motion sick, especially in standards and on the very twisty/up-down roads we'll be going on. I'd like to keep my thanksgiving dinner thank you very much. On that note, Happy Turkey Day! And oh yeah, I'm grateful for a whole lot of stuff.

Sometimes I wish I saw the world in black and white. Like George W. Despite the fact that he is the leader* of the free world, life is so much simpler for him. There is right and there is wrong. There is very little else. With the world being black and white you know exactly which side you are on and how to react. You know who your enemies are and who your friends are (or at least you think you know) and there are clear and defined loyalties. But the world is not black and white. And my life is certainly not black and white. It's a whole heck of a lot of shades of gray and those varied hues make my life difficult. The current gray issue is my niece's birthday party. Most of my family will be there - including both sets of parents who at least get along at a distance. It's tradition to get together at my sister's for frivolity, food, and drink (lots of drink). My niece does not yet know that birthday parties usually include people of the birthday celebrants own age so s...

As my long term readers know, I have some very strange and unusual coincidences happen in my life. You may recall that my X's new girlfriend and Friendster Guy (i.e. my boyfriend for you newbies) live four doors down from each other in the same apartment complex. I'd like to add a couple more things to the list I like to call "Why my life is collapsing in on itself." 1) My best bud and sometimes guest blogger Npapaya is looking around at new apartments. She sent me a description of one she was going to go look at yesterday and lo and behold, it is the apartment that X is moving out of in January to move in with his new girlfriend right down the parking lot from Friendster Guy. I have not yet touched base with Npapaya to see how she liked it so I don't know if worlds are going to officially collide. 2) While talking to FG about the strange inability of my life to expand its horizons, he told me his own anecdote. When he moved here he called the first apartment ad h...

Life is hard. I/We are especially reminded of this around the holidays when we are pulled in so many different directions by so many competing priorities - family, friends, loved ones, shopping, deadlines, money (or lack thereof), events, weight gain, work, blogs, end of year finishing of things, or remembering all the things we haven't finished. Sigh...I'm getting stressed just thinking about it. Every year I try to keep things simple. I've tried to get my siblings to agree to a secret santa instead of having to buy presents for 6-8 people (sibs + significant others). It hasn't worked. So instead I try to buy my presents months in advance. This year, however, things have gotten away from me. I haven't even bought my niece's birthday present for this Saturday. I have a feeling that I'm about to become stressed. Like it's in a pot that's about to boil over. I've been so good for the last few months. Even when things have been hectic at work I have...

...and what I should be doing is unpacking, but what am I doing instead? Blogging. My priorities are either out of, or right in, whack, depending on your perspective. I'd like to thank NPapaya and Friendster Guy for filling the void for me while I was in Disney World. I don't know about you but I got a little hot under the collar, in a good way, while reading Mmm...chocolate lovin' by Miss Papaya. That is not the kind of event or experience you often find up here in the Upper Valley. Whew! *Sassy Pants fans herself a little* I'm also looking forward to seeing Friendster Guy and his new glasses. It's been a long week without my co-pilot. There's only so much family you can take without having someone else on your side to vent to. I did get a little venting in via phone but it's not quite the same. By day six the family (my sister, her husband, my niece, my brother, his girlfriend, my mother, my stepfather, my step-brother, his wife and her mother!) started t...

npapaya just can't resist speaking up on this: I really wish I knew how to post links in this blog. Dang it Sassy, get back here! If there was ever a What the F***?! moment it came today as OJ Simpson and Fox announced their new show called If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened, will air on November 27 and 29. Basically, this is a preview of the book he's written by a similar (if not the same) title. I don't know about y'all but I thought this was pretty sick. And I gotta tell you- how many people do you know who a) knew someone who was murdered b) was charged with that murder, but denied responsibility c) then went on to say "well, hmm, just for kicks let's think about this...how WOULD I have done that? Let's just walk through it shall we?" I feel sorry for his kids, cause I gotta tell you that's tacking on about 10+ years of heavy therapy right there.

FG signing in. I managed to lose my only decent pair of eyeglasses at work the other morning. I promptly phoned up my old eye-care provider and explained that I was in a bit of a pickle: could they fax me my prescription here on the other side of the state? No, it expired in June, it having been two years since my last exam. Okay, but I can't see, and I need to be able to see. Well, they can't fax it without the Doc's permission, and he's on vacation until Monday. Period. No referral, no helpful suggestion, no apology. Just no. So, I guess I need not bother driving over there to remain their customer. A local shop here will be receiving my business. They graciously hooked me up with an appointment and a new set of specs within a 24 hour period.

Hi there- this is Npapaya. You've heard bits and pieces about me through Sassy's blog, but now I'm live and not Memorex (for those who can remember that tag line). A quick bit about me-I'm nearly 32, Black, single, female, and live in NH. No, I am not crazy, though at times I wonder. Here's the thing. I've lived here for 6 yrs & I've dated just about everybody-white, asian, indian, non-citizens, and even women (long story, let's not go there right now). Living in a rural area is not the time to have a whole lot of preferences besides "has own teeth, job, and education." So, as much as I would like to meet a "brown" man I'm not holding my breath. But last night I felt a little like a kid at Disneyworld. I was invited to an event with nearly 90+ people of color-many of whom were Black men- professional, cute, handsome, over 25 Black men. Yummm. Not only were these hot prospects they were also captive prospects- brought here f...

I had lunch with my thesis advisor and several of her advisees today. I specifically sat across from her so I could riddle myself with guilt since I have not been working on my thesis at all. I never used to be a procrastinator. This is really the only thing I've ever procrastinated on. Of course I have been a little busy. Divorce, new apartment, dating frenzy, new boyfriend, new job, another new apartment, four weddings and a funeral, a full time job that involves writing so who wants to go home and write more?, and a social life of sorts. Granted, if I spent as much time working on my thesis as I do blogging I'd be done by now. So today at lunch I told my thesis advisor that she needs to lay the guilt on as thickly as possible. If she ever thinks of me she needs to drop me a line and ask, "How's the thesis going?" I generally don't need pushing on projects. I've always been that annoying person who is done term papers days in advance. In fact, unless yo...

And now, please welcome to the center ring, your favorite guest bloggers and mine, NPapaya and Friendster Guy! Yyaaayyyy!!!! That's right - I know I've said this before but - while on vacation my fabulous friend NPapaya, and my fabulous boyfriend Friendster Guy will be taking over my fabulous blog. It's simply too fabulous! I don't know what they are going to say! I don't know what they are going to do! They are giving blogging a whirl for the first time so stop by often and encourage them. And don't miss me too much. (Knowing me I'll probably post later in the day today but after that, that's it! I'm outta here until at least the 19th.) By the way, Happy Veterans Day, especially to all you people stuck at work like I am. There's nothing quite like celebrating the people who fought for our country by sitting at your desk blogging, er, working.

I'm going to preempt Friendster Guy's complaining and do a little bit of my own. What is wrong with people that they don't know how to walk on sidewalks?! I was on my lunch break and I had a near collision with someone who managed to get into an Ivy League institution but can't seem to understand that if I'm walking on the right hand side of the pathway, and there is a pathway going off to my right that I want to take, you probably shouldn't continue straight across the pathway on the wrong side of the path because I now have to circle around you (since you aren't moving out of my way) and then be forced to backtrack slightly because I've now passed my "exit." Walk like you drive people! Walk like you drive.

Look out folks, there may be a decidely masculine vibe here at Big Girl Underoos for the next week or so. Friendster Guy has accepted my invitation to be a guest blogger while I am on vacation at the happiest place on earth with my family - he wasn't quite ready to join the 10 or so of us on this particular trip. I can't say I blame him. My family is short, frenetic, and we're going to Disney World. At a silent 6'2", poor FG would think he was in Munchkin Land on ecstasy. Seriously. No one is quite ready for that. I've got a couple more invitations out there and I'm just waiting to hear back. My only request is that they introduce themselves so everyone knows they aren't me, Sassy Pants. Friendster Guy says he's going to write about blood and guts, and complain about stuff. Won't that be lovely. I'm looking forward to seeing how my blog is hijacked.

Now that I have your attention... While I was continuing the never ending packing I've been doing since I moved last weekend, Friendster Guy hollered at me from the living room, "You wanna get married?" If I hadn't known the context I would have been one shocked woman. For one, I would hope he had a little more of a romantic streak. For another, this is a man who has yet to say the L word. A marriage proposal was not something I was prepared for. And, in reality, it wasn't something he was legitimately offering. You see, he spent at least a half an hour on You Tube watching a series of these videos called "Will It Blend?". He was just hoping we could register for one of the $400 industrial strength blenders. Actually, he was hoping we could register for 2 - his and hers if you will. I didn't say yes. But it does make me wonder what other cool stuff we could get.

You hear that? That is the blissful sound of our media outlets no longer forcing us to listen to politicians yelling at one another via commercials full of vitriol and lies. You know, if we non-politicians used the same tactics at work we'd all be fired and probably have some sort of harassment suit brought against us. No matter how much I'd like to I can't stand at the photocopier screaming at the top of my lungs, "Joe Schmoe is a two-faced liar! What has he done for this company? Nothing but drag us into a quagmire and spend all our money. Not only that, but he's morally repugnant and I hate everything he stands for!" Yup, totally fired. Or at least sent to counseling and maybe diagnosed with Tourettes.

What, what? I was over there playing with the NaBloPoMo randomizer (truly a thing of beauty) when I landed at a site that mentioned the demise of the Federline/Spears relationship. (I apologize to the writer of that site, I hit back, back, back to get here and post and now I don't know who you are. Dang.) One of the reasons I gave up TV is because I really and truly shouldn't give a flying howdydoo about these people. And I don't. But without TV, I am cut out of the pop-culture gestalt. Not only does that mean I don't know diddly about what's going on in the world - except through my subscription to Time - it also means I'm going to suck royal doodoo at Trivia Pursuit very shortly. But as for Britany - it's about freakin' time girlfriend. You started out with so much potential. I'll even admit I used to watch you and Justin and Christina and all the gang on the New Mickey Mouse Club. Either right before or after Saved by the Bell. What? Like you didn...

Did you vote today? I love my polling place. It's the first place I ever went to cast a ballot in person. Every time before that I'd done absentee ballots. I go to the town hall and it's all so very small town. I always see someone I know there and this time was no different. The room they hold it in has a stage at one end. You can almost see the local productions kids, and for that matter adults, have put on there from time to time. It always feels so patriotic with the red, white and blue bunting- very West Wing, American President , Dave -esque. It's still early but so far it looks like I backed the right horses - or donkeys as the case may be. Good luck in your district. And if you didn't vote, I don't want to hear you complaining. You'll do it next time though, right?

Look, look! I managed to add a picture to my profile. See, on the right there. It's not perfect but it's a place to start. And with that, good night.

I think I was most interesting, in a bloggy sort of way, back when I was still going through my post-divorce dating frenzy (see archives from Oct 05 to about Feb 06 when I finally settled down with Friendster Guy) Don't get me wrong, my life is much more fulfilling and I'm super happy now but when it comes to exciting stories for other people to read and hang on my every word, well, it's not quite the same. At some point, now that I've mostly settled into my new apartment, I may be able to give you a play by play on my thesis writing. Won't that be a treat. It won't be interesting but it will be frenzied. I have to have a draft by March and considering that I started it in September 05 and it is now November 06 I should be a lot further along in the process at this point. But now with the holiday season upon us... I think I'll have to make December NaTheWriMo. * There is no point to the title of this post other than I just finished watching When Harry Met Sa...

Overheard at the Dunkin Donuts drive through. "Can I help you?" "Yeah, I'd like a low-carb bagel with tofu cream cheese." "Anything else?" "A medium Dunkachino *" I sure hope someone else was in the car with him because that's the most off-balance way to get a "balanced" diet I ever heard. * 35g carbs (0g fiber, 25g sugar)

I have returned from my friend's wedding in Saratoga Springs, NY. I'm a little tired. I got in at 2pm, decided to take a nap, and just barely got out of bed at 7pm. It was a struggle. That's the fourth wedding Friendster Guy and I have attended since June. Only one of those did not require an overnight stay. In fact, now that I think about it, all of the ones we travelled to were in NY - West Chester, Brooklyn, and Saratoga Springs. Given that we live half way up NH that's a lot of driving. Luckily, there are no more weddings on the horizon - just a trip to Disney World (sans Friendster Guy), Thanksgiving, my nieces birthday, and Christmas. Just. I'm getting a little tired thinking about it. I think I'm going to go warm up some leftover pizza and watch an episode or two of Northern Exposure (Netflix rocks!) and go back to bed. But before I do that, here's another edition of: Sassy Pants's Discover a New Blog! This edition includes five ladies who came to...

Off to the fourth wedding Friendster Guy and I have attended. My X and his new girlfriend will also be there. Should be interesting.

I'd just like to give a shout out to the random stranger who helped extricate me from a dress I'd somehow zipped myself into but couldn't get out of at JCPenney this evening. Thanks, nice lady, for not making me have to walk too far out into the store in search of assistance. (As it was I had to leave the dressing room braless. I did end up with a different wonderful dress (that I am able to remove on my own) for the wedding I'm going to tomorrow. I wasn't feeling the love from my current wardrobe and the only thing decent that wasn't screaming at me, "You'll look fat in this!!!" was something I've worn to two or three other weddings already in the last 6 months. Not that there will be anyone there that would have seen me at any of the other events but still, a girl gets a little weary of the same thing every time. Plus it was on sale. And I had seen it a month or so ago but decided against trying it on. This time I did it and I must say, not o...

1) I had a dream last night that my annoying step-cousin faked her own death and we all had to sit through her funeral at which she finally popped up and said, "Just kidding, I'm alive!" Her parents, who think she can do no wrong, are major naive (I mean, the girl is 29, living in the same house with her boyfriend all the way across the country and she has her parents believing they sleep in separate rooms. Maybe they do for whatever reason but they sure as hell share the same bed sometimes. I'm fairly certain her parents still think she's a virgin. I have news for them - I'm pretty sure that horse was out of the barn before she left high school.) Anyway, in the dream they were simply ecstatic (rightly so) but didn't see anything wrong with the fact that she had strung them and us along for days thinking she was dead. I was pissed. I even woke up angrily indignant at 5:30am because of it. Grrr... 2) I think I have walking pneumonia - or at least the symp...

Um. This was an ad on MySpace. It's one of those animated ones you play until they lead you to another site and you sign your life away for a free ring tone. The premise of this particular game is pretty obvious. And stupid. And really obnoxious. The more I look at it the more it annoys me. It makes no sense. Unless the purpose is to offend. I mean, I personally would love to have little midget mad scientists around to shave my legs in some deranged competition but since such a thing doesn't actually exist, why create such a scenario as an ad campaign? And what the hell ring tone does one get as a result? I wasn't brave enough to try to go further into the depth of this particular activity in order to find out. Blech.

One of the fun things about participating in National Blog Posting Month is knowing that there are hundreds of other people also out there being good bloggers and posting daily (or at least trying to). In fact, you can see a list of participants here - just scroll down to the bottom. I think one of the things I'd like to do as a NaBloPoMo participant is help out other NaBloPoMo participants get the word out that they exist. And so I am introducing a new periodic feature: Sassy Pant's Discover a New Blog How will I choose them? For one, if anyone with a blog not currently listed in my blog roll posts a comment, they automatically get a plug. If they took the time to log in and say something (nice, or at least not offensive), it's only fair that I return the favor by visiting their site and taking a look around. Another way I will be choosing sites is by name. I'm going to scan the list of participants above and if the name is witty or intriguing, there I shall go. So he...

Inspired by my post on NaBloPoMo, my friend N had a great idea - during my vacation absence why don't I have guest bloggers? I think that's a wonderful idea! Dangerous, but wonderful. If you would like to be a guest blogger on Big Girl Underoos anytime from November 10th to the 19th email me at sassyserendipity76 at yahoo dot com. Or at my other email addresses if you know who I am. I won't schedule days for people to post. If you feel like ranting that day, rant on. Heck, you could post everyday if you have a lot to say. It will be an interesting homecoming for me to see how the blog has been taken over. It doesn't matter if you have your own blog or not. Plug your own. Or get a sense of what it's like to have one. Lurkers come out into the light!

Welcome to National Blog Posting Month . A completely arbitrary and made up celebratory month where you have to do stuff - specifically post a blog entry every day. Like I told my X regarding Valentine's Day, "Just because it's made up doesn't mean I won't kick the shit out of you if you don't participate." I may be paraphrasing the actual conversation but you get the jist. Sadly, he did not. But I digress... So I have signed up to be part of this. Basically, I need to post every day. What I forgot was that I was going to be on vacation with my family (who are in the dark about this blog) and I will not have access to the internet for that week. So what I'm going to do is double up at least 7 times this month so I get the 30 entries in. Your job, if you would like to participate in NaBloPoMo and you do not have a blog, is to comment. It can be here at Big Girl Underoos or you can spread the love at some other sites. Look to the right to see a few blogs...

"That'll be $1.89" Sassy Pants hands over the money and waits for her bagel. Sassy Pants thinks for a second and says, in her head of course because if she did this out loud people would think she was crazy, "Wait a second. That's a lot for a bagel with cream cheese!" Sassy Pants scans the unreadable chalkboard menu trying to find prices. Finds "Bagels - 62 cents" and thinks, "Oh, they must have accidentally charged me for the breakfast sandwich at $1.75." But no, continuing to scan the menu that is full of beautiful artistry with multicolored chalk but absolutely chaos when it comes to actually knowing what can be ordered and at what price, Sassy Pants discovers that a bagel with cream cheese is $1.75. How the heck much cream cheese must they be putting on a bagel to warrant a $1.13 price difference between a bagel with and without cream cheese? Even with a labor charge that's insane. I'd estimate it takes about 30 seconds to sli...