Big Girl Underoos

For my sanity (and because no one else has contacted me from Match) I have officially narrowed my field of men down to three top prospects (all the “nice” guys) - High School Guy, Friendster Guy, and Math Teacher Guy - and apparently, they have narrowed their fields down to include me as well. I spent a lovely afternoon today and most of the last two days with High School Guy. Tonight he is working so we can't hang out : ( but I just got a call from Math Teacher Guy asking me to the movies later this week and then an email came from Friendster Guy saying we should do dinner next week. Apparently the holidays haven't slowed anyone down on the dating front. Yowza. I'm seriously grinning from ear to ear right now because my ego got a huge boost from all the date requests but I'm also conflicted. Even though High School Guy has said he has commitment concerns he sure hasn't been showing them. Of all the guys I’ve dated I'd be most interested in pursuing a relationsh...

Brief update: High School Guy and I are getting along really well. He went out of his way to stop at my work the other day (and he didn't go visit his brother)- like seriously out of his way, two towns and probably at least 10 miles out of his way - and then we watched TV at his apartment Wednesday. He came over to my apartment last night. We got our snuggle on. And I do mean snuggle. That's not a euphemism for anything your taudry mind might be contemplating. He's a really good guy. Very gentlemanly. Darn it ; ) And I must really like him because I'm keeping the details to myself(there aren't very many - you'll be disappointed if I tell you now anyway). Friendster Guy and I have been emailing each other. I told him about the pot incident and he agreed on the lameness. He's going to make a nice friend. First Impression Guy has not contacted me to apologize or say thank you for driving his friend home. He's SO off my list. However, Netherlands Guy (the ...

Here is an interesting web quiz. It's only one question. My world view is below. I agree with most of it. Except the not very adventurous thing. Although even that isn't too far off - no matter how I may act. Thanks to Josh for pointing this out. Your World View You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content. You value kindness and try to live by your ideals. You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material. You respect truth and are flexible. You like people, and they can readily make friends with you. You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you. What Is Your World View?

So I get an email from a 37 year old guy on Match.com yesterday and all I can say is I hope he is actually mentally challenged because otherwise I fear for our education system (I do anyway but you'll see what I mean). Judge for yourself. (Note: my profile asks, when was the last time you did something for the first time?) Email subject line: "Don't ever lose that Smile !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Ok what is the last time I did somthing new ? Well this is it me wrighting to you! I have never done this before the on line dateing thing that is. I know you maybe sitting there and saying ya right but the truth is that I realy have'nt I can't say I never looked at the photo's before but I never have replyed to one before you so that make's you the 1st..Ok now we are past all that I have got to tell you I love your smile it's nice to see I've alway's thought if more pepole took the time to smile the world just might be a better place to liveaft...

Happy Solstice everyone. What do you give people on the solstice? I have no idea. But here's an article about dating: 5 guy's every girl has got to date. The summary: The older man (Mattress Sales guy?) The starving artist (High School Guy) The metro sexual (Buff Gym Guy) The bad boy (First Impression Guy? - I do not find myself attracted to this type of person. In fact, they turn me off. I don't need to go here.) The nice guy (Math Teacher Guy, Friendster Guy, High School Guy - I'm a definite sucker for nice guys! In fact, my Match.com profile says "Nice guys can finish first. Bad boys need not apply." So as not to appear sexist, here's the same article reversed for my gentlemen readers . I think I may be a combo of the "guy's girl" and "brainiac." Unfortunately I'm also heading into "older woman" territory if I keep going to parties populated with grad students.

I just got back from a solstice party. The people were almost all new to me so I enjoyed getting to know a new crowd. However, I don't know your particular interests/disinterests in controlled substances but I think that once you hit 25 or so it's really not cool to be getting all excited about weed (I've never done it so I've pretty much always felt this way.) Once you hit 35 you become pretty lame. I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy it now and then for your own recreational use(ok, maybe I am saying that) but to be all giddy like a teenager about doing it is pretty stupid. "Pot? Did someone say pot!" I had to drive a guy I just met tonight home because his friend/ride disappeared in a puff of smoke. Luckily this guy was very nice and also sober. He had an interesting take on the situation because he's from the Netherlands where it's controlled like cigarettes. He thought it was kind of like binge drinking - get it over while you're young...

So, First Impression Guy didn't show at the event. He did email me before hand but I didn't get it because I was on another date so he's not quite in the dog house yet. I will be seeing him at a party tomorrow and I told him he owes me one. I don't know what"one" is but he owes me. I so need a cell phone. Any plan recommendations? As for the other date, that went well. Still no real sparks with Math Teacher Guy but he's easy to talk to. We had lunch, ran into a couple of his co-workers whom he introduced me to (bonus points for him), and wandered around Hanover. We shopped for his secret santa gifts and went to the bookstore. He just started reading the nerdy book I bought my Dad for Christmas. If sparks eventually fly my Dad will probably like him. That's good. I think the sparks not flying is because he's very much not flirty. (Was there anything grammatically correct about that sentence? No? Didn't think so.) Buff Gym Guy was too flirty and ...

My mixed emotions are settling into a few layers. At the top is happiness - my life is pretty darn great. I'm meeting new people, experiencing that butterfly in your innards feeling, finding sparks, and just generally having a good time. Under the happiness is a confused layer. What am I feeling right now? What in the heck am I doing with my life? Why am I not working on my thesis? Who the hell cares? WTF? At the very bottom is sadness. Sadness that I'm not part of a couple anymore. I spent last night celebrating the birthday of a woman I think is just fabulous. I consider her a friend and mentor. The people at her party were also fabulous - interesting, engaging, independent. Another friend of mine, also in the midst of the chaos of the dating world, and I were the youngest ones at the party and except for an 83 year old widow everyone else was coupled. Many were on their second or third coupling but they were firmly entrenched in that couple. What was interesting was that it ...

My mother does not know about this blog. But she's so internet savvy that I'm sure it is only a matter of time. She is now on Friendster and also 43 things . You should be too. Don't you want friends? Wouldn't you like my mom to be your friend? She pretty hip for a grandma. 43 Things is an interesting site. You can make a list of 43 things you want to do with your life. I don't know why 43 is significant. It's great now with New Years coming up. What's odd is that I joined it and then later on my mom did and the first thing she clicked on brought her to my record. It freaked her out. Then a few weeks later before I knew she was on there (because she was freaked out and didn't want to tell me) I clicked on something and she popped up. Weird. Of the Bagillion users on 43 Things I find my mom and she finds me. That's how my life goes people. That is how my life goes. In other news, I'm having lunch with Math Teacher Guy again on Sunday.

...let's hear from you for awhile. 'Tis the season of giving after all. So far I've had some pretty good dates, no one has done anything frightening, or untoward, or even had bad table manners. It's been a good run and I hope it will continue (with High School Guy in heavy rotation). I'd like to hear from you about your worst dating experience. Enter something in the comments or send me an email (if you know who I am) and I will post the text anonymously. I'd have to say my worst date ever was when I went to the senior prom as a junior. My date (now a good friend so he has redeemed himself) pretty much ignored me the whole time, kept saying things like "Isn't so-and-so really pretty?", and half way through the prom I couldn't find him. I finally tracked him down moping on the other side of the dance floor by himself. After the prom we went to one of his friend's houses. He did not tell me we were going to be staying there for the evening so...

I'm having lunch with High School Guy today. Yay! My "enthusiastic emailing" (think drunken dialing) has not freaked him out. I HATE the immediacy of email. There is way too much desperate thinking that happens when you don't get an email immediately back. I really need to learn patience. I waited over 32 hours before I sent the second email that he finally replied to. There are many reasons a person has not emailed back that are much more valid and correct than "He thinks I'm a troglodyte ." (Troglodyte is my new favorite word.) Anyway, I'm out of my mini-funk. I downloaded* onto a college friend of mine who knows both X and I, and he commiserated with me that it wasn't fair X got to be involved with someone before me. At least some of our friends are on "my side." Not that there should be sides but at least someone will pretend to be when we're one-on-one and it's appropriate for the moment. *Don't you just love all the ne...

This is a phrase my X coined to describe the couple of get togethers he had with our co-friend. I think it is a great phrase and we should all use it in a sentence today. I think it is also great that I can have a conversation about dating with my X. I have now sent him an email about the 6.5 guys I have gone out with. He might be in for a shock when he gets it. I also told him "Go us!" for our ability to have these sorts of chats. This is all so very weird. Have you ever heard of any other couple who could decide to divorce at the end of September, be divorced the end of November, and have calm, funny conversations about their dating lives before Christmas? I haven't. I consider myself very lucky. Living a very strange life, but very lucky.

I have recently been collecting quotes from various sources that are apropos to my life and philosophy. I thought I'd share a few. Do one thing every day that scares you. - Eleanor Roosevelt We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell And my new favorite: I'm not going to die wondering. - Colette

Well, STBX, or I guess now I should just call him X, called me today to warn me that I might hear through the ever so short local grapevine that he and a good friend of ours are "seeing each other." It's not very serious (yet) but he wanted me to hear it from him rather than someone else who sees them out together. That was very nice and considerate of him. Way to think ahead for once...er...yeah... Anyway, it was cute because he was so nervous to tell me. And surprised by how happy I was for him. He didn't expect that. So yeah, on the one hand, I am supremely happy for both of them. I truly am. I think they are both people who deserve some happiness and I have now told them both that and that I give them my blessing 100%. They are even cute together, although I haven't seen them, but I can imagine. On the other hand I'm a little bummed. Or angry. Or something other than happy. I'm annoyed that he's taking the initiative to be flirty and attracted to s...

Against all advice to the contrary, I sent High School Guy an email telling him I liked him. Here is the text (forgive some of the inside jokes): Hi [HSG],Is there a particular reason we have to wait until this weekend to go out? My Friday and Saturday evenings are already scheduled with gal pals but I have nothing any other night until then. I know, I know, I'm acting like a desperate stalker. But you'll have to forgive me. For some reason I like you and I'd like to get to know you better. It could be the hairless shoulders, but I think it's the cheesy sense of humor. I'm a sucker for sarcasm and puns, and guys who cut their own hair. If there are reasons I shouldn't like you please let me know sooner than later. You're in a satanic cult? You like to dress in women's clothing (only a bad thing if you are a smaller size than I am)? You have a third testicle? You have a steady girlfriend you have neglected to mention? I also know you have a crazy life and...

So...I had some errands to do at lunch today which just happened to bring me right across the hall from High School Guy. I really didn't make up an errand just to go see him - my hairdresser is across the hall and I need some product. All right, need is perhaps too strong a word. However, I emailed HSG to see if he'd be there if I stopped by. He was and I did. We had a nice, but unfortunately non-flirty chat. He did say we should get together this weekend though. Then as I was leaving I threw caution to the wind and turned it up a notch. Since he knows all about the dates I've been on I told him I had rejected three of the six people I'd seen recently and didn't have any dates scheduled for the foreseeable future. Then I told him I had three people on the short list. And that he was one of them. He smiled and seemed flattered. I should have said he was my number one but I didn't want to scare him. I need some advice folks. Lay it out on the table and risk freak...

I'm slowly (quickly?) remembering why adolescence sucked. Mainly it boils down to self-doubt. I just got myself a good little dose of that. I called High School Guy and we had a nice chat. We were talking about British Musician and how I didn't think I was going to take him up on his soon to come offer of going out. HSG jokingly asked why (after he had spent some time describing a few reasons why BM wasn't probably the best date) and I said, "I like his friend more." But he didn't bite. He made some cheesy comment about BM not having any friends. And then the conversation moved on. I'm pretty sure I wasn't wrong about there being some kind of spark between us. But here's where the doubt comes in. Did I come on too strong? Should I not have called him? Does he think I'm a stalker? Did I freak him out? Read the signs wrong? Who the hell knows? It's all fun and games until someone stops playing the game.

I just had a very nice lunch with Math Teacher Guy. I was right about his profile giving me the best vibes of the 4 guys I've now met from Match.com. He was really personable and I was very comfortable talking to him. The conversation was easy. There was never a pause. There weren't a lot of sparks but he's definitely someone I'd see again, even if it's just as friends. And we had some odd things in common: He almost went to the very small college I went to (it was in his top 3 and it's amazing when anyone has even heard of it), he doesn't like nuts, he didn't drink until he was 21, and we agreed on a heck of a lot of things. I'm not smitten and I'm sitting here hoping High School Guy will call me tonight but Math Teacher Guy is now in second place. Friendster has fallen to number 3. We went to a hockey game yesterday and had a good time but he is, as he admitted, a quiet guy. I don't think I need quiet right now. I might hide my Match profi...

Folks, I’m in like. That’s right, I said like. As in “Do you like him, like him?” I did not expect this but I really like High School Guy (HSG). He’s funny, easy to look at, and I’m totally comfortable around him. He called me this morning just to check in. And then I called him at his DJ job this afternoon (where he warned me British Musician Guy was going to call me and that I should let him down easy. I'm taking that to mean HSG doesn't want me to go out with British Musician.) You know how I was looking for that witty West Wing type banter? Did I ever tell you that? It's part of my Match profile after some rather unexciting date conversations. Anyway, totally got it with HSG. And he’s definitely wanting us to go out again : ) Remember my almost date with the guy who wore too much bling ? High School Guy is really good friends with him. Or at least was in high school. Bling Guy may come up sometime (since he now has two friends here which makes the 2.5 hour drive more p...

I just had the most wonderful and bizarre experience. I thought I was crazy with two dates in the same day, but no, it gets weirder. I'm pretty sure I just had a date with two men at the same time. I think it has to be some kind of record. High School Guy, his British Musician friend and I met at a restaurant/bar at 7:30pm. One of my single gal pals was supposed to meet us but because of the weather bowed out. The three of us had a nice meal and while High School Guy (who passed my drinking test with flying colors and I really like now) was in the bathroom British Musician asked if he could have my number and take me out some time! Eeeekkk!!!! That's a scream of delight, not horror - sort of. High School Guy ended up seeing all this transpire but didn't seem phased by it (I had already told them all about my other dates so the fact that I was dating other people wasn't an issue. In fact, it seems to make men more interested...) For the rest of the night British Musicia...